Saturday, December 02, 2023

Winter Notes- Saturday, December 2nd. Dark, Chill in the Air. Dismal.


 Trouble in the Picture File this morning..... Computer having some "memory loss".

Not that I am doing much better.  Realizing that husband hadn't gotten the Fall Cleanup done in the garden beds....which have now turned black and look like a Bad Halloween Winter.  And no magical being had come to do it...so now son and I are just looking at it all- and the cold and wet outside...and neither of us is really wanting to go out there. And do anything about it.  We are like minded about it.

The guy who was "supposed" to come take care of the leaves.....with the very expensive Leaf Blower I gave him.......has not showed up....will probably not..ever...I think he might have sold the leaf blower....

I haven't even turned on any lamps.....I am at that point in this episode of my Life when I am not really wanting to do much of anything......not even think.  Certainly not "feel".  Though feelings do come in waves and it is not always something I want..... or enjoy.

Just.

I now really really hate that word.  As it proceeds people telling me what to do. 

If I was able to DO.....I would.  I am NOT.  I am not sure what this is in the menu of Grief.  But I am sure it has a title and subject line description.  It also means people are distancing themselves....which is fine. Which I am sure I have done.....to others who are now doing unto me.

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