Field Notes- Monday, October 9th. Feels like it should be November or December.

 Beautiful Painted Rocks.  I used to do stuff like this....Now I am just trying to get from waking up to going to sleep without falling apart......

Husband is still in hospital.  Still in ER adjacent.  Still not on one of the floors....upstairs with windows. I can feel that he is giving up.......no longer even trying to eat....he asked where Roger was and I said it's pretty nice day..probably riding his motorcycle.......His brother has been dead for quite a while now. At home he had asked if Roger was alive- I said no.

I am thinking Roger is close by....trying to give comfort to his older brother.

I have financial forms to fill out going back 5 years..... the Social Worker said it will be around 15K per month for care....if they can find someplace close to home for him.....Driving (fast) for 40 minutes each way is NOT something we want to do going into a Maine Winter. Closer to home would be so much better.  Neighbors might volunteer to drop me off and then come back to get me.......

Home Care is another option.  But I don't think I would do well with people (if we could even find any) in the house 24/7.  And the cost of a Hospital Bed ....but we should think about it.....

Facebook is supposed to have Hospital Beds....I just ate some Chicken Salad (protein) and now I am going to finish reading a book and then get the Recycling and Garbage out for tomorrow morning.