By accident- on the worst choice of day possible- I took husband's clothing home- the stuff he was wearing Monday......and today when they transfer him- he won't have any clothes to put on.
He'll have eyeglasses and hearing aids.
It's almost 9am and no one has called the house.....so..
Sam hasn't come by or called as yet....she has to mark all the clothing with his name and then pack his suitcase.
I went and got the newspaper, the front lawn was littered with broken tree branches over night or during the week......I tossed them into the "not grass" area. The Lawn Mowing People did not come. Yesterday was their mowing day. Hasn't been mowed.
I actually ate food....a dinner- here at home. Watched some tv and went to bed. Fell asleep right away and AGAIN woke up at 4am. Did not go back to sleep. I tried. But it never happened.
This is what happens every night so far. The not going back to sleep wears me out.
Telling him he wasn't coming home yesterday- gutted me. His face. I wanted to say- forget it- get dressed and we would bring him home. I knew in my heart that would be a huge mistake....so I kept it to myself. But I have been crying non-stop since. I think how I would feel.....being sent to "somewhere" to stay for "some time" and maybe after that come home. Maybe. The key word here is Maybe.
Well. I need to have breakfast. Daughter called and was all "ALL" with me so it wasn't a great call.
She knows where the place is located now....same long drive there. But I can start asking neighbors for a ride. They are wanting to be doing something to help.
I just want.......what? It can't be over. It is just beginning............so, I guess I wish it never happened. We never called 911. We took him to his regular doctor and got antibiotics for the urinary track infection and who knows how that would have gone.
I am so tired. So sad. So tired of crying.
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