Field Notes- Thursday, December 29th. 31 degrees, cloudy with a thin coating of light snow on the grass.

 Exactly how it feels.

I need to get up and turn on a few lights...... the house feels cold.  I feel cold.

The daily newspaper is now not only less pages--now it's narrower.  Shrinking.  Not in the price we pay for it.  Just in pages and words.  I checked the tv guide pages...nothing to watch today.

Once Christmas Day is past...the remainder of December should just be...deleted. Nothing happens. Usually we would have leftovers and desserts.  But the past few years, since I stopped making the traditional Pierogi for Christmas Eve- resulting in many days of deliciously fried in butter leftovers...... it's just not as wonderful...... I can see why Old Mainers fly or drive to Florida. And stay until April or May.

Florida..I was going to say it isn't what it was when we lived there.....but I think it was like it is now. I just wasn't paying attention. My marriage went off the rails when we lived there.  My husband starting running wild and then started traveling for work.  Gone. Days and then weeks he would be gone.  And that was it.  Once the company found out he liked being gone...he was gone all the time.  His paycheck got deposited. Our marriage, for all intents and purposes...was over.  But I stayed put.  The kids needed a good home and regular food and new shoes.  The divorced wives...didn't have that. I stayed.  We kept moving. He kept going.  And now we live in this barren wasteland of a State- alone together.  Sigh.  Not what I had wanted.

There was a tipping point and I missed the flashing lights and warnings......of when I should have made a left turn onto the exit ramp and made a run for it.

Well the Sun seems to be shining outside......I have a book to read.  I have the opportunity to take the sheets off the bed and wash them......maybe. And I need a fresh hot cup of something....Joanne.