Daily Notes- November 4th- All for Nothing?

Well, here it is the day after.  I am not feeling very Positive.    

Of all the items being sold on Food 52 these days- this charming hot water boiler is my favorite.  But I am not buying (reviews of the Chinese made products being sold on Food52 are not positive).  I tend to hold on to what I am used to.  Letting go only when those beloved things and people and dog...die. 

Husband and I loaded up the lawn mower and it's parts.  He called and explained that he had no idea how to put on the new handlebar for the mower.  They said bring it in.  Won't be worked on anytime soon but we won't be cutting grass for months.

My car is going to be inspected at 1pm.  I need a sticker.

My problem with my library record was solved- I had reached the maximum of 10 requests.  Five are on the way from other libraries- two have arrived overnight.  And I activated husband's card which gives me 10 additional reserve requests if needed.

I slept last night.  I am not an easy sleeper.  A worry wart.  I tend to lay awake worrying about whatever happened that day or the way my one tooth feels or the pantry supplies or the way my pillow is feeling. Hallmark wasn't good (for me) last night.  Election returns hadn't come in yet.  So I read until 11 and then went to bed.  And to sleep.  Crazy dreams right before waking up.  I can't remember them now. But the point of them was being careful with people and being kind.

I am reading The Two Lives of Lydia Bird by Josie Silver.  Young Brit is engaged to marry her childhood sweetheart.  In a car accident on her birthday, the sweetheart dies.  She is heartbroken and doesn't sleep. She is reluctantly given pink pills.  So she can sleep at night.  Instead she falls asleep during the day and spends hours with her dead boyfriend.  Not in the past- but in a Future she doesn't recognize.  The Two Lives.

I spend most of my reading time with tears in my eyes.  Not sure why.  But I do.  Nothing is sad.  Nothing bad is happening.  He is already dead.  The scene in a bereavement group.  Lord...that was difficult to get thru but worth the effort.  People have so much anger at the one who died and left them alone-- but I can see that the talking-- the letting go of anger- it helps. But...she has only a few pink pills left.