Image from one of my old decorating/design books. No longer relevant but some of the images still lovely. My husband brought home a rocker when our first baby was a few weeks old. He's seen me gently rocking in our one chair. We still have that rocker--it was and still is--a porch rocker. And when I sit in it and rock--I am reminded of my two babies.
So I cut out this picture. In case I forget.
I am sorry for the words yesterday. This new thing with my husband is really, really hard. He is a gentle man and kind but when frustrated his fall back is anger. And he is stubborn. When a thought is in his mind it festers. He keeps returning to it even if I have said "no". He doesn't hear the no or he immediately forgets it. He wants to prune the blueberries. I have said no. I always prune the blueberries. He has never done it. Each time I look away he is down in the garden with pruners. Doesn't remember me saying no. What follows breaks my heart. How many times can you say-"we just talked about this"? I guess countless times.
I have decided-when reading the notes for Week 10 in the Morning Pages book--that I am being frustrated with the pages at exactly the right Time. Who knew? So, today at Goodwill I purchased a smaller journal with nice smooth pages. I will count the lines on each page and see if I need to stay with three or do four. I have run out of pages in the super large journal I thought would last the entire 12 weeks.
I am closing now--to find my clippers and go out and prune the blueberries. We clipped the thin white cloth to the outside perimeter of the fence where the blueberries grow. To scare the birds away. I want blueberries this summer for blueberry sour cream cake. The thin cloth floats and lifts in uneven motion. The birds can't get used to it.
I don't think you ever need to apologize to us. Many of us have been where you are - whether with a spouse or a parent. It's frustrating and it's scary and it breaks our hearts. We understand. Take care.
ReplyDeleteWe too, had one chair when our first baby was born. And it was a wicker chair and I don’t recall that we had a cushion for it ! I look back on it as one of the happiest times of our lives. My husband was in the military and we were in the Azores, living “ on the economy” without the benefit of base housing or furniture.
ReplyDeleteI am amazed at how prepared modern parents are for their babies .... but then I remember how happy we were.