The Universe is sending messengers to speak to me at work and on my days off. At first, I thought they had come to just talk but, now, after thinking about what they had to say, I think they spoke to a specific purpose.
One reminds me of the Zen moments watching him unscrew the top of his tea thermos, pour the tea into a cup, and then slowly put the cap back on the thermos. My friend Patty and I would wait, during the class lecture, for those moments and watch. Purposeful. Thoughtful. Peaceful. I had forgotten this lesson in taking the time to enjoy the simple gestures, the simple movements.
Another speaks of the beauty of the quilts I made and the quality of my stitches. She is saddened to learn that I no longer make quilts. She mentions that if I ever do, again, she would love to buy one, to own such beauty. How did I not hear her? Yes, with my ears but not with my heart. I need to listen with my heart.
Yesterday the messenger told me not to be afraid to let go of "work". That there is great joy and freedom to be had once you let go. Let go of everything but a few cherished possessions, let go of cares and worries related to work, and joy to be found in the serendipity of letting the Universe know what you want and being ready to accept the gifts offered. Our final lunch date was filled with happiness and joy. And eggplant parm.
My son has been sending me this same message as he let go of work almost three years ago. He lives frugally and works on projects that interest him. Retired in his youth rather than in old age. He can always return to work. Now I can hear what he is trying to tell me. You can always go back. But try letting go first.
Today, I have rested, eaten breakfast, packed my lunch, dressed for work and then sat down to write to you. I don't want to go to work. I would prefer to walk in the woods with G and Riley, dig in the dirt of my garden beds and eat my lunch with them. Instead, I will go to work. Who knows, another messenger could be waiting for me there. Or here, in the comments. And, I believe it is good manners to leave on positive terms: two weeks notice at least.
I think it is always best to leave a job on one's own terms, as a decision made, not as a vague sense that someone is wishing you gone, or worse that actual message coming out of the blue. When I left my last real job it was my decision. My husband was working out of town. I wanted to join him for extended periods. Shortly after I left, others in my department, in my age group, began to be forced out. They still feel bitter and unappreciated. I hate to see the sense of futility they still feel. I am glad I left when I did. I left being told I would be missed. True or not I have taken that small gift with me.
ReplyDeleteWhat this has to do with your situation, I'm not sure, except to say one cannot underestimate the value of taking control of your own destiny and the subtle skill of timing things to your advantage. I am wishing you a sense of peace and joy with decisions you are making. Onward!
I think your son sounds like a very wise person and you can learn from him.
ReplyDeleteLife is short. Why waste time doing things you don't want to do and more importantly, don't have to do.
Linda
God! I loved reading this. You sound peaceful-not a sound I hear from you so much lately. Wonderful. Have faith in your decisions. They are well-thought -out and whatever is stearing you in this peaceful direction cannot possibly be bad.
ReplyDeleteWhat could be better than enjoying the rest of your life guilt-free? How many more years do we have to be carefree-get up each morning and see what the day brings? Isn't it good to be in a place in life where we can say we have enough? Not great wealth but just enough. That's a gift.
I left you a comment on this post, but i think it got lost in the Blogger problems of several days ago. It was about the value of taking charge of your destiny rather than waiting until things are unhappy or unpleasant--how glad I was that I left my old job on my terms in my own time, not being forced out later as some of my co-workers were. They are still feeling bitter and unappreciated. Not that that would happen, but there is a sense of satisfaction to be able to leave a job and feel like you might be missed.
ReplyDelete