Remains Of The Day

Today.  Is over.  My daughter is home where she can privately pass all the gas they injected into her belly during surgery.  The Linus Project volunteers have packed their car with my 4 shopping bags and five boxes.  And they liked what was in the bags and boxes and plan to "keep" most of it and not sell it.  It is fun to make pretty things.  More fun to make pretty things.  Some donations are old and tired.  My stuff is bright and cheerful.  This little pile of brown checks and plaids was removed from a box at the last minute. I don't know why.  I followed my intuition.  We'll see.

Today, just about at the time I should have been in the car driving to pick up the dog, my right leg "gave" way again.  This is the second time this week.  It takes about 15 to 20 minutes to recover and then everything is good again. Everything was perfectly fine up until the moment I realized my leg might not hold me up.  I wonder what is happening to me?  Pinched nerve?  Tired muscles?  Cement floors?  I have been walking, reaching, lifting for two full days at work.  No problems.  And the "weakness" occurred at about the same time of day, afternoon, 3 pm or so.  And by just standing quietly and waiting, it went away.  What it is, is the feeling that if I place my weight on my right leg, I will fall.  I stop myself at the very first instance of this feeling.  Standing still and waiting is okay with me.  Falling at work is not.  I don't want to be treated like an invalid.  Not yet.

Just before this happened I was walking down towards a delivery truck, uneven gravel, to pick up trays of plants, one tray on each forearm, and carry them back up into the greenhouse.  It was after carrying the tulips and Easter lily containers in that I felt unsafe.  I had decided to skip my Pilates this morning.  I just had too many things to get done and was still late to work.

My lunch, at 1.30 was wonderful.  I especially enjoyed the toast with my still hot breakfast thermos of coffee.  If Sam's boyfriend can't walk and feed Riley tomorrow, I will drive home and eat my lunch here between classes.