The Pissy Princess

I wonder how much SPAM that title will generate? I have been Pissy lately. You noticed. I go through these phases when I expect too much of myself. I think I am going to dig weeds with a shovel and clear beds and plant things and it is TOO MUCH. And there are bugs. Rain. Dinner to cook. Clothes to wash. Shirts to iron. Dogs to walk. Not much room in there for ME.

I get tired. Cranky. Down on myself. Yesterday I just decided to go down to the hell hole I call my "workspace" and work on the dreaded purple and yellow. I started with a simple background. Two fabrics. One purple and one yellow. And added some tone on tone strips.

Sewed them down. Added some yellow thread lines. Added some hand stitched lines. Added some more yellow. More hand sewing. And then I stopped. The piece looks okay. It could be the one I show on July 1st or it could just be the canary in the mine shaft. But I made something. Used the sewing machine. Cut fabric. Threaded needles. Felt less pissy.

I even washed my face, wet my bed head hair and took the dog for a walk. A short walk as he was panting. Then I took the dog for a ride in the car. I needed to visit the grocery for yogurt and a cucumber to go with the butternut curried rice I made. I met a friend and we talked. Then off to the grocery and who do I see but the next door neighbors. Yes. Next door. We never see each other. So we caught up on the gossip (news) about the other neighbors, my garden, the deer eating the hosta right in front of them, in broad daylight etc. Then I bought groceries and got home in time for G to call and say he wasn't going to have to work until 1 am and would be arriving home in an hour or so. He is having a number of "call outs" at work because of a big switch in management in the company he works for. Summer is not the time to switch things up. Plenty of jobs in fast food right now. Not enough trained people.

Read a letter to the editor of the local paper. Our navy base is being closed and all the property (except for the big "secret" building) is being given to the town. The town is thinking of giving some of the buildings and land to a college. Like a community college. And the writer of the letter said this was stupid as we already had two colleges in our town of 20,000. True. The writer said we need a place to train people to be welders, carpenters, plumbers, electricians etc. Interesting. Because most of the locals like being lobstermen, clammers, worm diggers, shrimp catchers, landscapers and housekeepers. At least it seems like they like doing these things because there are ever so many of them doing these things. Recently a new clam flat opened and the boats were side by side as clammers dug clams. Making $500 a day. Of course, when they have dug all the clams (which they will do) there won't be anymore and they will have to move on to digging worms. And best of all these are "cash only" jobs with no reported income to stop the flow of welfare checks.

Maine is one of the most generous welfare states in America. You come in for Food Stamps and they see if you qualify for any of the 30 other welfare checks including free Maine Care health insurance. And, right there, people see that this is something that brings in extra cash.

And working lowers the welfare check. So they go to the "cash only" jobs with no benefits and no paper trail. Those clammers were making $500 a day for two or three weeks of seven days a week. Now, a training center that teaches you a trade like welding, carpentry etc would end this nice little situation. So, who exactly would the training center train?

The colleges just, finally, give students a chance for a good high school education. Something they didn't get while in high school because hard work and low grades would hurt their self esteem. High school is all about feeling good about oneself. Yes, there are students who learn languages, math and English. And do all the sports. But they leave Maine as quickly as they can and go to college far away. Live and work far away. Not in Maine. They do come back after they retire from the huge corporate jobs they get in other states. And they buy big expensive homes on the ocean and need carpenters, welders, plumbers, electricians, landscapers and housekeepers. This is why we need someplace to train people (who didn't do well in Maine's high schools) to serve those who prospered in far away states. The circle of life here in Maine.

Next week is Book Sale week here. And I am only working for ONE DAY this year. Last year I had very bad back pain and was entirely miserable. So I am trying very hard not to lift and turn with any heavy objects at home or at work in preparation for book sale lifting and bending. My day of Zen for the year.

I think we are having cold sandwiches and perhaps ice cream for dinner tonight. Supposed to be 90 degrees today. Stinking hot day to be at work. Stinking hot day to be at home.