Disgusting August, 2009

Let me count the ways the first days of August disgust me. Mosquitoes. Horse and Deer Flies. Humidity. Itching. Weeds. More Rain. Tomato Blight. Failure to get a good night's sleep. Wearing socks and having hot feet. Not wearing socks and having stones in your shoes. Wanting to eat. Not wanting to cook. Wanting ice cream. Long lines to buy ice cream. Traffic.

The traffic thing gets out of control here in Maine. Vacationland. Every freaking idiot in the other 49 states and various foreign countries has decided to come to Maine, in August, and drive erratically, in the car in front of mine. They are also clogging up the lines at all my favorite restaurants and ice cream stands. And I have to got to get to work, appointments and buy groceries, while trying to "work" around their crazy vacationing lifestyle.

So I'm testy. And I scream "asshole" a lot while driving. My dad's favorite word.

The little blaze orange Fit is now registered in Maine and has Maine insurance. I sent a large four figure check to the insurance broker to cover 6 months of vacant house coverage for the Ohio house. We are having estimates for painting and new carpet in the Ohio house. In case you were wondering what I was spending my inheritance on. Ahem.

Today, G is cutting the grass (because he didn't want to cut it yesterday) and we are going to eat lunch at the Mexican place in Auburn. I'm planning on spending some of my inheritance on a large salted Margarita. I might be happier with more ice cold beer, salty Margaritas and icy Tom Collins. Prime Suspect on public television tonight. A/C installed in the window here at home to keep us dry and chilled.

I worked four days last week. I was hot, dirty, itchy and smelly. And there were no free ice pops in the lunchroom freezer. I even had to go down cellar and carry the 5 gallon water replacement bottle up the rickety stairs and install it into the drink machine. So we could have drinking water. And there were mosquitoes in the lunchroom. And a nerve in my left eye keeps twitching. God. I sound like a psycho.

I get my teeth cleaned this week and my eyes checked (the twitch).

I invited Sam (my daughter) to attend Art Club with me this week. So, of course, an invited guest turned out to be one of those "talking head" Me&Me&Me people. She glues crystals to shoes. But in her mind she studies the "architecture of the shoe and creates intricate and one of a kind designs that should cost $5000 per pair of shoes etc." Yes, indeed. A line of crystals around the top edge of a shoe is a departure from any known design, as is a snowflake on the heel or a toe covered in crystals. And we had to hear about the trials of her shoe size. And the cost of the undecorated shoes. Ferragamo. $500. At least. My daughter told her to contact some drag queens and sell her shoes to them. And then we drifted away, as far away as possible, to work on projects. Sam won't be returning.

Art Club. Just not working for me. And I so WANTED it to WORK for me. I need some artistic help here, people! Or, at least, a really GOOD LAUGH!