I Made Something

Finally, some creative content. I feel like I haven't "made" anything in months. I haven't written in my big journal since--gosh, it's been a long time. I was writing something everyday and making little drawings and collages. But I stopped. I can't even think why it happened.

I did make 12 little collage trees for Christmas and the little stuffed trees for gifts. And Tuesday I worked on this little paper collage. I got to my usual point of thinking it was finished and then I kept going. And it's better than the others. I'll use more paint on the next one. If you're wondering--it's all stuff people normally throw away. Junk mail, grocery flyer, date due slips from library, Christmas tissue paper, a leaf I ironed with waxed paper in October.

I had a great day at work. A number of patrons mentioned how much they enjoy the little pieced crow quilt I have hanging at the library. One patron, a former art teacher, was listing all the artistic touches she had noticed. Wow. That certainly made me feel like a quilt artist.

Today is day 21 of my new eating plan. I never would have thought I'd make it this far but I've had a whole year to think about changing. I'm tired of this version of myself. I want the other one back. The other Joanne. Small steps.

In three weeks I'm getting my nails painted red again and I'm hoping my rings fit on my fingers by then. I haven't been able to wear my wedding band since the spring. Valentine's Day. Wouldn't that be nice?

It's hard to keep going when no sees any difference. I know there is change. All my clothes fit differently. But people see a large woman when they see me, and that's what I still am. And it will be months before there is enough of a change for people to notice. It will happen. I just know it will.