Wednesday's Child

I'm Back

2012-01-28T10:57:00.000-05:00

A wonderful visit. So happy I went. A suntan plus some sun poisoning but no (or not much) sunburn. Both of us have terrible headaches and I am having some residual "wave" from the boat trip. I feel like I'm still at sea. Must be an inner ear thing.

We have no food in the house. The dog came home just now and wanted a WALK pronto pronto so G has taken him away. His dog bed is wet so the parts I can wash and dry are in the washer. My plants have done well in my absence and just needed watering. I'm hungry. Must eat something.

I followed my diet as best I could (meat, eggs, cheese, almonds) but there were cocktails served every evening at 5 and lots and lots of very good "table" wine as the Miami wine snob described the bottles. My clothing fits but I fear the scale will report an increase when we replace the battery. The airplane seat seemed narrower on the return flights.

We went out to eat most days and had some incredibly wonderful food. I purposely did not take my camera, otherwise there would be boat pictures, food pictures and water view pictures.

The house was magnificent and made the re-entry to my little house here very depressing. I miss the marble floors, the stairway (marble) to the second floor with balconies, the elevator, the pool and the Italian coffee maker (oh, that was pretty wonderful all on it's own). I also miss the walk in showers, gorgeous towels and Koehler fixtures. The kitchen with the huge Wolf restaurant range complete with red knobs. The freezer drawers and the built in steamer. Perfectly steamed vegetables.

Still Doodling

2012-01-18T13:21:00.001-05:00

I decided that a full page doodle was way too much pressure for me to endure. So I divided the page into smaller 1 by 2 inch spaces. Sometimes I do one and sometimes I do more. I added color to the first but haven't been tempted to do that in the others.

I was up earlier than usual this morning. Shower and then dressed and trotted out to the car to make a quick trip to the grocery and return books to the library. I had only a full, unopened quart of Eggbeaters and didn't want to open it for just one final breakfast. It would have spoilt by the time I got back home. Now I have plants to water and tend to, my summer clothes to try on and pack in my little carryon. I also have to pack for the dog. That trip into Town was easier once I slid down my driveway (one long sheet of ice). It rained last night just before the sun set and the temps dropped. Perfect.

I have spoken to the dog and told him of the wonderfulness of his coming "vacation" but he is not having any of it. I can see the unease in his eyes. Perhaps, mirroring the unease in mine. I'd rather be staying at home as well. I am comforting myself with chocolate mousse made from heavy cream, Splenda and chocolate. A bit loose. I actually got out the mixer and tried to get the stuff to stiffen up--no takers.

I have house checkers (multiples) standing by. I have someone picking up mail and newspapers. Now I must bid you adieu and get my checklist ticked off. I finished my book this morning after breakfast. Shardlake escaped death by drowning yet again. And Henry VIII only had another 6 months to live. Could this be the end of the series?

I'll be back before you know it. G is setting in motion all that I will need to post on the road if I want. We'll see.

Tuesday, Tuesday

2012-01-17T16:15:00.001-05:00

Up early. Snow, slush covered streets. Haircut appointment. Driving was a bit greasy. Then Library. Then Bank. Then had my glasses tuned up since the accident when I hit myself in the side of the head with clothes dryer door. Then Health Food Store to see if they carry Peanut Flour. No. But they did have peanut butter powder in a jar. Which turns into peanut butter when you add water. And I am thinking can be used as peanut flour if I wanted to try one of Candice's recipes. Then Vet to get Riley's shot records and his heart worm pills. Then shoveled out the bottom of the driveway. Then salted the porch steps (very icy). Walked the dog. Ate lunch (two ham and cheese rollups and a grapefruit). No. That was my breakfast at noon. Had chocolate pudding for lunch at 3 with a handful of raw almonds. Sugar Free.

I was tempted to try to use the snow thrower on the driveway (3 inches of new snow this morning) and spent a good bit of time reading the instructions on the machine and trying to find the switches and levers mentioned in the instructions. Then, I decided to wait for G. I think I made the right decision.

Stayed up very late last night reading the Tudor mystery. It's a big, thick book. Lots of plot. Today I will be enjoying the sea battle between the English and the French at Portsmouth and the toppling over of the Mary Rose and drowning of 500 soldiers and sailors because they covered the decks in mesh so they were all trapped and died. Screaming. I get quite an education in historical facts. The mesh seemed like such a good idea until the boat tipped over while turning. It would have been a disaster if the top side had caught fire also. All to keep those tricky Frenchmen from boarding the big ships. The English had 40 to 50 ships of various sizes and the French had a couple hundred. What was Big Fat King Henry VIII smoking when he decide to declare war??? That's my question.

The weather during our dog walk today was quite mild. 31 degrees, I think. The warmth softened the snow and Riley enjoyed climbing up and down the roadside piles. He's such a good dog.

January Doodles

2012-01-16T10:50:00.000-05:00

This is a photograph of a magazine clipping. Quite a large piece of art in "real" life but here in my journal just a reminder to try this effect in one of the doodles I am working on this month. I have two started. Neither is anything I want to share. They are doodles. And, doodles are not something I normally do or am comfortable doing. My journal pages are filling up nicely at the end of the Chinese Year. This journal was started on the eve of the Year of the Rabbit. Will end on the eve of the Year of the Dragon.

The temperatures overnight were single digits (even negative digits) but the sun is shining this morning making the 9 degrees seem warmer somehow. Riley has gone outside. Yesterday morning, he refused to go out. G and I didn't take the dog for a walk as the snow's surface has a hard, sharp crust of ice. It rained a bit on Friday afternoon, just enough to make a bad situation much worse. Our driveway is rutted with ice. Dangerous for walking. Disaster for me when attached to an eager 90 pound dog.

I got the dining room table cleared, laundry done, the floors vacuumed (g) and managed a delightful, delicious and filling dinner last night. We (g) grilled hamburgers outdoors, I fried bacon and then caramelized onions in the bacon fat. My two burgers were served topped with cheese, mayo and pickles. Then I piled on the bacon and onion. It was so good. So, so good. G had his two burgers with toasted rolls. Then we watched Downton Abbey on PBS. A perfect Sunday.

Tomorrow I need to venture out in the car and get my haircut. I also need to have my glasses frames adjusted as I whacked myself in the head with the dryer door yesterday. And my scale finally needs a new lithium battery.

The internet is working. G unplugged everything and then slowly reacquainted the router and everything else to the others. We have our fingers crossed. No email has appeared in my inbox but G has gotten some. That is usually my only indication of life outside the boundaries of this house, this desk top.

I have a good book to read and a few things to finish up. I have vacation packing to do and a dog bed cover to make for Riley to take with him to boarding. Or I can let him take one of his three house beds with him. I don't know what I want to do, yet. And then there is supper to plan and prepare. I am thinking Mushroom Pasta with dried and fresh mushrooms or perhaps pizza for G. For me, a package of Trader Joe's sautéed onions and peppers with the remainder of the frozen Perdue cooked chicken strips. It's almost 11 am and I haven't even had my breakfast yet. Or my first cup of coffee.

I need to make meals that finish up all the fresh foods in the fridge. Especially the stuff that is in open containers like Eggbeaters, cream and sour cream. I will be going thru everything after breakfast and making a list of what I need to finish eating. I also have avocados. Three. And limes. I forgot to buy jalapeños. Now---- I must prepare breakfast.

The Internet

2012-01-15T10:40:00.000-05:00

Oh, how I miss you when things go away. We are having trouble connecting to our wireless router. We get it going and then the connection slips away and is lost for the remainder of the day. Neither G or I understand the reasons (if there are any) or can see a solution. We have shut off the iPhone and iPad.

I am taking the opportunity to write this post while things are working and then file last week's unemployment claim. The sun is shining. The temperature is minus 2. The dog is staying inside. Yesterday, The three of us tramped thru the ice crusted snow for the daily walk in the woods. Riley did best of all with four legs. G and I struggled but at least had a path cut by someone's cross country skis to follow. Today, the walk will be harder as things are frozen deeper and harder.

I started my day with a huge breakfast. No cheese. Grapefruit, eggs and sausage, an almond flour MIM with too many blueberries. Not enough sweetener (in fact, none). I seem to have regained my "regularity". I consumed all the roasted Whole Food beets with a drizzle of olive oil and salt and pepper. Because we are going away next week, I don't have as much food in the fridge. Less choices for my meals. Not a good thing. I am eating too many handfuls of raw almonds.

I think I will take the lights off the Christmas Tree today (or tomorrow), vacuum the floors, take a shower, clean my bathroom, go into my nearly empty former workspace and take a look at the 12 by 20 piece I started on. I DO NOT like 12 by 20. The proportion is very awkward. After the reveal I will, almost certainly, cut 4 inches off the length. 12 by 16. More pleasing to the human eye. I know it's a challenge, but, go ahead, cut yourself a piece of batting 12 by 20 and tell me how you will compose something that works at the top and all the way to the bottom. And where will you place the horizon line? And the 20 has to be running north to south.

I haven't been diligent with the circles on squares (now that I know I have too many). I could take them with me on vacation. Along with the little ovals. Who knows.

I'll be back when I have service. Cheerio!

Colorful Threads

2012-01-13T15:52:00.000-05:00

No new photograph as I have no idea how long I will have internet service. We keep losing contact with the wireless. I managed, yesterday and today, to get the thing working, but it only takes a second of inactivity (like taking a picture) to lose the connection. And it never works again. Until tomorrow???

It is 42 degrees and I think it rained about an hour ago. The surfaces are slushy but as the temp drops and the sun (what sun) disappears this will all be ice. I decided I wasn't going out with a 90 pound dog pulling me. I finished the second of Asa Larsson's books. Very, very good. I wish now that I had ordered the third. But I don't have time for more books. Right now. I have the fourth Tudor hunchback mystery waiting. And Case Histories by Kate Atkinson.

I spent about 40 minutes visiting the Whole30 site which I believe is Paleo or DinoChow. No grains, no dairy. All uncured meats and all vegetables and nuts. Limited fruits. You seem to be able to eat all the fruits but in limited amounts. No sugar in any form whatsoever. The list is only available for purchase. If you felt Atkins was restrictive(?) then go visit Whole30.

I (along with all other master gardeners) have been invited to a set of 6 vegetable gardening classes this winter. At the local church next door to the library. I think I will be going. They are free classes and open to the public. Sounds wonderful. Now I have two plans for the next few months. Walks and classes.

My daughter is coming over after work. Which will be nice. G has tomorrow and Sunday off which will be nice. I have all the ironing done. I washed all the scarves and gloves. I need to dig out some summertime clothes to take on vacation. How odd, huh? G finally is all caught up on Downton Abbey and we'll be watching the new season starting at 7 pm on Sunday. It's ever so much to do about nothing.

I am still watching That 70's Show every evening. Though it is starting to get repetitive. Perhaps I have seen almost all of the episodes by now? The 13th of January is a bit early for me to be getting bored, but I think I am. It's hard not seeing, talking or doing stuff with other people. I may be reclusive but I like being around people. Too funny.

I'm going to press publish and then visit the library site and order a few books. Crossing my fingers and hoping the wireless doesn't crap out midway.

Blue Sock Monkey

2012-01-12T14:35:00.001-05:00

A Christmas Gift from my daughter's boyfriend. I would buy these for new arrivals (babies) along with a few onesies and a rattle. Now, I just buy them for myself. I have about a dozen small monkeys (6 inches tall) that I used on a small Christmas Tree. I need to go find them in the attic and include them in the ornament box.

I was without wireless this morning and had to watch television while I ate breakfast and tried to do two Easy suduko puzzles. Not easy enough for this morning!!! Then I went to iron shirts in the office. Yes, my ironing stuff is in the "office". I got seven or eight shirts ironed before the back up iron decided to become "fussy" and a load of white stuff washed and dried. The dog won't go outside alone and I won't go outside, period. It's snowing. And underneath the snow is greasy ice.

Regarding the wireless. I had to try and remember what G had done to get it working last week. Eventually, I hit on the right combo of things. I was certainly happy when the "you have mail" thing pinged.

I gained 3.5 pounds over night from Tuesday to Wednesday. Lost two of those pounds overnight Wednesday to Thursday. My ring is tight so I know it's all water. My daughter made me drink a whole bunch of water (to solve the constipation problem) and now I am full of water. I have thought that as long as your urine is colorless, you are well hydrated. Daughter says I am wrong. She also wants me to start eating prunes (dried plums) but they are very high in carbs. I think they have a laxative effect because of the large amounts of sorbitol they contain. Sugar alcohols. The stuff of farts and gas.

G is at work. He purchased a new Invisible Fence collar for Riley. The clasp broke, perhaps during the rough play with Spice. Yesterday the choke collar released on the walk. Thank the lord it was at the very end of the walk and Riley was tired and just wanted to go home. He was loose and returned when I called. We were in a place that was unfamiliar to him. Near highways. So dangerous. We walked the 6 mile loop called the "Bike Path" along the Androscoggin River. You can walk, jog, bike or rollerblade. Riley didn't like it, I think the car noises hurt his ears. G seems to think the dog's foot pads are also sensitive from the walk. Perhaps too much salt on the surface, though Riley did tend to stay on the grass or dirt to the left of the paving. We will try and do other walks in and around town after I return from Florida.

I received another letter from Unemployment for a "Phone Interview". Last time I got one of these notices, they practically threatened me with jail for not filling out the work diary correctly. This time my sin is "holiday" pay. I got paid for Christmas Day. A Sunday, my regularly scheduled work day. So, while we are in Florida, I will be interviewed by the State of Maine, regarding forfeiture of benefits. Me. Not a Welfare Cheat. Me. Seriously pisses me off.

Emotional Turbulance

2012-01-11T11:43:00.000-05:00

Perhaps you know me well enough to know that "emotional" stuff throws me off. I lose my footing. Fall backward into the safe positions I learned as a child. Protect Yourself. Hide. Deep Inside. Lock The Doors of Your Mind. So. It never takes much to send me backward.

While our dogs played, Spice's owner told me a dear friend of mine (who I have sadly lost touch with), has filed for divorce and her husband has kicked her out of the dream house she designed and built on the ocean. After a lifetime of putting up with him. Making excuses for him. She has had to leave her home, her things, and return to her parents home in another state. She doesn't even have her friends to comfort her. To even describe how this hurts me, is impossible. The husband is on vacation in Australia.

Another friend has just suffered a breakup with her significant other and is in that first, painful stage of grief. Anger. There is no fix for what happened.

And I am reliving the final moments (hours) of my father's life. Because what I am, emotionally, begins and ends with him. He never asked for forgiveness. I forgave him all on my own, but he never expressed regret for the emotional damage he did.

My day is filled with sadness, anger, tears and memories. I feel like I am walking thru heavy mud. But, I am walking. Moving forward. I have an actual walk along the river this afternoon with my dog and a friend. It'll be cold. But the conversation will be as good as the company. I will feel better.

Riley's Play Date

2012-01-10T14:54:00.000-05:00

Riley got to play, really hard, with his sweetheart Spice yesterday and this morning Spice's owner called to ask if she could come over again today. We said yes. Today's play was not as exciting for Riley as yesterday's. He was still tired. So he spent more time watching Spice misbehave. A bored dog is a misbehaving dog. Still, it was 40 minutes of running, playing tug on a tree branch and rolling around on the lawn in a two dog tangle. Then Spice went home and Riley wanted his one hour walk.

We are just getting back. Riley has gone to the backyard, thinking Spice will show up at any time. The waiting should occupy him for at least 30 minutes. I like having doggie playmates visiting.

I'm sleepy.

Oh, How I Suffer On This Diet

2012-01-09T10:57:00.000-05:00

My larger than usual breakfast (more Eggbeaters) of egg, sausage, onion and cheese topped with the last of my Whole Foods avocados, which I sprinkled with lime juice and salt. The dog woke me up this morning. He needed to eat his breakfast and then go outside to bark. Bark. Bark. Remember when he was a quiet dog? Finished off the less than wonderful stuffed cabbage rolls. There was something "off" about the whole recipe but I forced myself to eat it all because, essentially, it was a very low carb meal. And it was very filling. Today, I am making chicken soup for G. He loves chicken soup.

We had a "FaceTime" phone call from our friends, who are already in Florida, regarding our impending arrival in a few weeks. They are so happy we are coming to visit. K used to be that excited about me coming to visit. Not any more. These friends were out on the back patio watching a football game. The television was set up with it's backside to the Atlantic Ocean. Really. This is how they are spending their retirement days.

Yesterday evening was spent watching Downton Abbey on PBS as G has a few episodes to watch for the first time. I missed the first 38 minutes of the season's premiere but it will be shown again next week along with the second new episode. Everyone seemed to have gained weight between seasons. At least the men did. You would think the producers would have asked them to diet a bit to regain the lean wartime look.

That's about all for now. I am a bit "out of sorts" today regarding my recent credit card bill (whatever was I thinking spending so much money?) and the oil bill of $440 for one month of having the thermostat at 62 during the day (only in the room we are in) and 58 the rest of the time. Yes, we are cold. But. $440? this is why no one actually wants to live in Maine. And why so many homes are polluting the air with wood smoke making me sicker and sicker each time I walk the dog. My chest actually hurts as I try to breathe.

I am going to write in my journal and drink a second cup of coffee. Iron a few shirts and then walk the dog. Make soup. Sit quietly and read one of my books. I wish I still had my inhaler.

Another Warm January Day

2012-01-08T16:29:00.000-05:00

Really. What have you done with Winter?

I laid all the 5.5 inch blocks out on my bed this morning. I have WAY MORE than I needed. In fact, if I even out the numbers (make 20 more) I will be making a 70 by 70 inch square top. And it will still need borders. So, 84 by 84 when I thought I was making a 60 inch square. I could still be making a 60 inch square. I'd just be making two of them. How could I be so stupid?

Auto correct said "I laid all the 5.5 inch blacks out on my bed this morning"

I also was trolling the internet (yesterday) looking for low carb recipes for breads and found a video recipe for chocolate cake. One of the major ingredients was sugar free vanilla syrup. I don't have any. For no good reason, I started reading the comments attached to this recipe (comments on these sites are ridiculous). And there was my answer. TheWalmarts. They are supposed to have sugar free syrups in the coffee aisle of any SuperStore. I asked G if ours was a SuperStore and he said yes. So we went. I got the last two bottles of sugar free vanilla and bought an additional bottle of caramel and chocolate. Now I can make an Atkins single serving chocolate cake.

I also discovered the quart sized cartons of Eggbeaters are $1.40 cheaper than my grocery. The sausages I have for breakfast (every morning) are 50 cents cheaper. Splenda is dollars less expensive. And TheWalmarts even had packaged hard boiled, peeled, eggs. $2 versus the $8.99 the grocery tried to charge me. We found a box of 8 yogurts (a duo of the ONLY two flavors G will eat; cherry and peach) for $4 which is $1.60 less than the grocery which says it has the lowest prices in town.

I try to avoid TheWalmarts (this is the way the store is referred to by most people in America) like the plague. I may just have to change my tune now that we are getting close to retirement. I go through Eggbeaters like crazy. This will save me money!!! It's like buy three and get the fourth one free.

G and I walked the dog, gassed up the truck, shopped At TheWalmarts, stopped at the library for my next Tudor murder mystery, got home and ate a very late lunch (4pm) and now it's getting dark. I have laundry to fold and a few shirts to iron. The internet is working (we had a problem this morning when the computer lost contact with the wireless card) and G is holding his book and sleeping. Riley is also fast asleep.

Downton Abbey is on PBS tonight. We are getting BBCAmerica (without charge) now (why not when The Hours was on and I really wanted to see the final episode???). I watched the first two episodes of the X-Files late last night on BBC. Fox and Mulder looked like babies. Wednesday it's the Bloody Tudors all day starting at 1pm, perfect alongside my Tudor murder mysteries. No Law and Order UK. That's what I really wanted to watch. Better get those clothes folded.

Oh, and I filed for this week's unemployment. Sigh.

Orchids Are Blooming

2012-01-07T14:53:00.000-05:00

I, accidentally, did something right with my orchids. They are either blooming right now or sending up big fat flower spikes. Most of the orchids were purchased in their "non blooming or not looking so good" state. We mark them down then and that's when I buy. I don't usually have much luck. This is a much appreciated experience. I do remember shaking some Osmocote granules onto the moss in the pots.

My citrus, upstairs in the guest bathroom, isn't looking very good. G sprayed them with Sevin because there were little bugs. Now they look dry. But the soil is moist. Citrus does better if it isn't wet. The orange on the dwarf orange still looks okay. The tiny Calamondin orange buds look like they are drying up. The lemon never made any fruit as it had no leaves when I got it. So, just having leaves right now, is a big leap forward. I have a fan directed at the ceiling to give the trees some air circulation.

Two of my Clivia are sending up flower stalks. I repotted the yellow one I rescued (it was overwatered and had root rot) after letting it sit with exposed roots for 4 to 6 weeks. To dry out. Now I'm letting it slowly draw up water into the roots. I tried to save it because it had two little baby shoots. How can you throw a plant away when it is trying so hard to make new plants?

40 degrees today and yesterday's snow is melting. Riley and I enjoyed today's walk. I think, in my humble opinion, that this IS actually Global Warming. Places like Montana were warmer yesterday than Miami. Winter, here in Maine, has been most excellent so far. Saving on the heating oil bills. I don't mind snow. Just don't want ICE.

Leftover stuffed cabbage rolls for dinner tonight. I just enjoyed two spoons of extra crunchy peanut butter for my lunch followed by a second cup of coffee.

My Daily Stitch had another hiccup. I needed more fabrics in different colors. So more cutting. And then I needed more circles so more ironing and cutting. (I didn't like the selection of circles I had prepared last week) I now have a nice pile to stitch in the coming few days. I keep running out of one thing or another. I don't want to make too many circles (have to work with the number of squares I have) etc. I know that at some point I will just have to "finish up" and match unhappy choices of circles and squares together. But not yet. I am not one of those people who can just reach into a bag and use the fabric they pull out. I have been lucky, I can usually find something in the right colorway up in the guest room, something that has a "sort of" French look about it. So far. I finally chose a black patterned fabric. Always need a good black in a design.

It's Snowing

2012-01-06T12:10:00.001-05:00

And I have had a sinus headache since last night. I think I get them when the barometric pressure is, well, where ever it is right now. When it snows, I guess. The skylights are covered in snow which means the interior of this room, where I spend my days, is dark. And I am constipated. It really sucks to be me today. Riley has gone outside to sniff the snow. The plows have been by. I think there may be 1 or 1.5 inches on the ground. Nothing really. We'll still go out and walk. Later. After the sinus medication kicks in. My eyes hurt.

I am steaming the head of cabbage I purchased yesterday afternoon. Making stuffed cabbage rolls for dinner tonight. We had roast turkey breast (from the grocery) with steamed broccoli yesterday. I had gravy and stuffing for those (G) that can eat such things. I bought the "nature's place" ground beef to see if it tastes better than the regular stuff (which hasn't tasted all that great lately). I don't think our grocery has the sharpest butcher in charge. I dug around in the pantry closet and found my jar of Minute Rice. And an expired can of tomato soup (Campbells). Living on the edge.

I managed to stitch four circles on squares last night. I had all the blank squares laid out by type so I could chose some of them to make into circles. I'm running out of circles. But then I wanted to watch television so I had to stack them all back up. I don't have anymore of some of the fabrics I have used. I may have to lay out all the finished pieces and see what size top I can make. I think it will be smaller than I had wanted. I really, really do not want to go fabric shopping. Really.

Our daughter came over yesterday. There are sad things happening in her life right now. So G cheered her up by teaching her to play Angry Birds on his new iPad. She really got into it. Then I opined that I wished Angry Birds could be on the iMac and G promptly set it up. Then S took the address down and practically raced home to get the birds flying on her iMac at home. G and I were assured that she would be too occupied to be really sad. At least until she stopped playing. Kids are never too grown up (to need their parents) are they?

Riley is all set up to go to a very nice kennel when we are on vacation. Yes, Sondra, It's the one Mac and Carol use. They have free play with any other dogs that are there and Riley can bring his own bed. I think he may just want to stay there forever.

Progress On My Daily Stitch

2012-01-05T12:00:00.001-05:00

Even though I did not stitch even one square yesterday. Yesterday wasn't my best day. I did get lots of cleaning done. The house looks nice. The tree ornaments are going to be packed up in the next hour. G is going to install my new floor mats in the Fit. The dog will have his walk. A new day.

Toyota is willing (that's so funny) to take, in trade, the Jeep and the recently repaired truck, give us credit for the $1554 repairs we just spent and sell us a new $30K truck. Well, it would decrease the number of vehicles we own to three. Next up I could try to do a double trade at the Volvo dealership. And we'd have two. A truck and a Volvo. Something to think about.

I completely DETEST automobile purchasing.

My breakfast was delicious. I am enjoying the sausage egg and onion omelet with avocado (sprinkled with lime juice and salt). Not that much of a change but enough to perk up the taste buds. And, at this point in the diet, I need all the perking up of the tastebuds that I can get. I am thinking of making stuffed cabbage rolls today. Or tomorrow. I have Lentil Soup (yes, I am having a carb filled soup because it's cold) which was a mainstay on the 365 day diet when I stayed at 1200 calories a day (and actually lost weight). In the coming weeks and months I will be combining the Atkins and 365 (1200 calorie) plans together. Still no sugar or wheat carbs. I don't plant to start eating those things. My Lentil Soup is minus the 2 potatoes it usually had and includes a package of smoked sausage. Next time I make it, I will use ham.

We are investigating a kennel for Riley while we are on vacation. It looks very nice. I think he will enjoy the free play time with the other dogs.

Well, I have work to do. I should be done with the ornaments by the time G is ready to walk the dog.

Favorite Christmas Gift

2012-01-04T14:14:00.000-05:00

This small, about 6 or 7 inches wide, purse is too, too cute. The puffy bow is adorable. The purse has a wrist strap so it will be easy to carry to the grocery store or I can take it on vacation with sewing supplies inside. I would hate to get Kitty's face all dirty.

I have changed the bedsheets, done a load of dark wash, vacuumed the floors (mostly), washed a few windows, washed off the front of the dishwasher and fridge and taken the decorations off the tree. Not the lights. I think I will keep the tree, with only lights for a few more days. To brighten the evenings. I need to finish the vacuuming and mop the kitchen floor.

I thought yesterday was Wednesday, all day long. So, today is like Groundhog Day (the movie) and I am having Wednesday all over again. I managed, somehow, yesterday, to find the vest G has been searching for for weeks, diagnose a French Fry vat fan belt problem (and not even leave the house) and repair the wireless on the computer (this morning). I'm just a wiz right now. G smelled strongly of French Fry grease when he came home on Monday. I mentioned it. He went on the roof of the restaurant on Tuesday morning and found a broken fan belt which he replaced. He was odor free Tuesday evening.

To all who recommended Stevia. It has a bitter aftertaste (which not everyone tastes) and it tastes like licorice to me. Not sugar. And it's the black licorice it tastes like, to me, not the red Twizzler kind. Agave reacts in the body just as sugar does. Spiking the glucose. Honey, agave, maple syrup and sugar are identical in how the body processes them. Yes, they are "natural" but still sugars.

Splenda, so far, has no strange aftertaste (to me) and I do know it was discovered while scientists were developing an insecticide. If and when the public can buy the liquid form of Splenda, which has no carbs at all, I will use the little yellow packets (which have one carb each) and continue to look for and purchase the commercial products that use Splenda. I'm having Splenda chocolate mousse mix, mixed with Cool Whip right now. Yummy. My cup of tea last night was good with xylitol and Splenda. I have read that combining two different sweeteners boosts the sweetness and you can use less in total. Sounds like chemistry to me.

I have things to do, so I will sign off for now. I wrote more but my computer failed to save it.

Christmas Day @ My House

2012-01-03T10:04:00.000-05:00

I grabbed this photo off my daughter's blog (Slambo) because it's a really nice picture of where G and I sit most evenings. My place is to the right with the lamp. That's the spot I have been in with my Daily Stitch the past few days. The television we watch is tucked behind the screen (which is filled with my favorite Mary Engelbreit greeting cards. Fatso the gorgeous tree is to the far left. I made those curtains on the far wall. That part of the room (an L shape) was originally meant to be the dining room. But, most of us don't really need a dining room anymore. And we do have the great room next to the kitchen and the 8 foot table.

Here's a picture of Fatso in all of it's Twinkly Glory. Almost wider than it is tall. Love this tree. It's still up and drinking water. I don't usually take my tree down until the 12th day of Christmas (January 6th). Every year, I wish the tree had been up earlier and stayed up later. It is just so enjoyable. Brightening the late afternoon and evenings. Sometimes the tree is the only light we have on in that room.

Yesterday, Riley and I did our walk in damp Spring weather. This morning there is a real cold chill in the air. We'll need to really bundle up for the walk today. Layers of down jackets under my coat. Two pairs of gloves.

Breakfast is eggs, onion and sausage with a whole avocado (with lime juice) and coffee. I have a bag of lentils out for lentil soup (minus the potato) which I will eat with smoked sausage. All the chili and meatballs are gone. I need to make something new. Saving my last grapefruit for tomorrow morning.

Stitched four more squares and circles. Cut yards of fabric into 5.5 inch squares. Need to cut circles from the new fabrics. Thinking of making embroidered Sailor's Valentines for Valentine's Day. Wondering if I have any off white wool to work on. I know I have red (I felted a little red wool skirt).

That's it for today. Would like to drink tea in the evenings but I like it with sugar. Splenda just tastes bad in tea. I wonder if I could have a teaspoon of real sugar in my tea without going off the deep end with sugar cravings???? Or perhaps I could try the granulated Splenda in tea. I have some of that and some of the granulated sugar alcohol xylitol. I do enjoy a cup of tea in the evenings.

That's my day. I have a few bits of laundry to take care of, changing the bed sheets, working on clearing the big table (still has shopping bags on it), and putting away the after Christmas gifts I purchased. The sun is shining. A good day.

Daily Stitch

2012-01-02T11:39:00.002-05:00

I found only one prepared circle to appliqué to a square when I settled in to sew last night. Then, I panicked. Where were the others? Where were the patterns? Where was the rest of the French type fabrics? I ran all over the house and the upstairs. Pulled open storage boxes. And, finally, I returned to the desk in the living room and "noticed" the small bag of fabric scraps (all that is left) and inside the thread bag--the used freezer paper circles. I use them until they refuse to iron onto the fabric anymore. Three and possibly four uses. I had actually been very well organized. Who knew??? Not me.

I stitched the one prepared circle and square and then went to the ironing board and ironed freezer paper circles to the scrap fabric in the small bag. I then cut into the three half yard "new" fabrics I must have purchased when I realized I was running short of fabric. Today I will be cutting squares out of those three half yards. And going back upstairs (in the bright light of day) and looking thru the fabric selection for a few new fabrics. You see repetition in the four squares up top. I just stitch them as they come to the top of the pile. These four would never be this close to each other in the final top. The mustardy yellow with red dots is a new fabric from the last time I made squares. Another new find, last night, is a nice rich pink that I haven't cut into yet. Obviously, my color tastes have changed since I first started this project. Three or four years ago. I even cut small ovals with pointed ends to stitch over the top of some of the finished circles (a few months ago). I haven't ironed them to fabric yet, but now that I have a pile of small scraps I might do that this morning. (Almost afternoon) I have also considered adding a smaller appliquéd circle to the center of some of the circles.

I did research on Time Management. Here's the big hint. Do the worst thing on your To Do list FIRST. Just get it over with. (I filed for unemployment before starting this post) Before going to bed, make a short list of two or three things to do the next day. I plan on writing in my pen and paper journal, at breakfast, the list of things I did the day before. Today I plan to copy recipes off a wonderful low carb baking blog (new to me). I noticed, in the comments, that the author is planning to remove the site due to the cost of the site. Cookies, coffee cake and brownies. No grain flours or wheat. No sugars. The author is a baker by profession. I haven't tried any of the recipes but the pictures look like real food.

On the 20th, I will have been low carb and wheat free (90%) for 8 months. I have never felt better in my life. I don't lose a lot of weight each month, but I haven't gained any since I started. And, in my history, that is a tremendous achievement. In case you are curious, the 10% is breading on chicken and eggplant and breadcrumbs in meatballs. When I find a sub for those uses, I will be 100%. Best of all, I have no food cravings (other than the one for those Big Sky Granola chunks) and easily pass on bread, pasta and cake. I have no desire to eat any of those things. One day at a time. Yes, I get hungry--at meal times.

Enough of that. It was just on my mind because of the website recipes. I try not to write about the lifestyle change too often. It's interesting to me. Period.

Sad to read that Prime Suspect is finished. NBC is going to be third in any event, why not have stuff that some of us want to watch? Women. Give these shows a chance or move Prime Suspect to cable where it would be good following the Closer.

I have a phone call to make. Are the banks really closed today?

Reflections In A Frozen Pool Of Water

2012-01-01T17:29:00.001-05:00

It has the look of an outer space view of Earth doesn't it? One thing down, on my list of things to do. I managed to download directly from the camera with a cable. I had been using the recharger cradle for 6 or 7 years. This is new. This means new pictures for all 2012 posts. Hip Hip Hoorah!

Today was sunshine and 42 degrees. Yesterday was freezing cold. The weather pattern so far: one day warmish and next day or two very cold. Then two or three warm days and one very cold day. The ground is frozen so any rain that falls makes puddles. Then, overnight, the puddles freeze. I have no complaints. The sun is shining, there is no snow and very little ice on the streets. It's all good. And we are saving $$$'s on heating costs.

Up late this morning. Breakfast was the third grapefruit, eggs and sausage with a tomato, coffee. I did a few Suduko puzzles and had a second cup of coffee. Then a shower. Folded laundry. Went on the woods dog walk with G and Riley. Took my picture. Then G wanted me to drive to Toyota with him to drop off the truck for tomorrow's repairs of the brakes and struts. It's always something with that truck. We had a late (4 pm) lunch at Sea Dog. G had a Vietnamese Banh something sandwich and I had my favorite chicken with ham and cheese. The Patriots won their football game.

Now we are at home. Settling in to read books. Spend a bit of time with Riley on the dog bed (that's G, not me). I said I would stitch a circle onto a square each day--so that is where I am going after I hit "publish". I spent New Year's Eve watching the Fabulous Baker Boys (delightful) and then two repeat episodes of Prime Suspect. Any news on whether it has been cancelled? I made myself a chocolate MIM with whipped cream for supper. It was terrible, as usual. I have got to find something delicious and chocolate to treat myself with. It WAS filling. So I wasn't hungry after eating it. Riley and I ended the year by going to bed early. Not very exciting. Which is okay with me.

Looking Ahead to 2012

2011-12-31T13:29:00.000-05:00

I have a few ideas on how I will spend the coming 366 days. Yes, an extra day! Figuring out how to eliminate the glare in photo booth would be nice. But you do get to see my jade ring. Many compliments on this old ring of mine. When I lose weight I can wear it. Purchased in the 1970's. I haven't worn it very much. I would like to wear it for the rest of my life.

I now have so many really interesting ideas for the 12 by 20 challenge that I think I will try them all. I also will be adding three new blogs to the sidebar. I am trying to expand my view of the internet art world.

It was very cold last night. Today is warmer. One day freezing, next day, not. One day sunny, next day, not. Forsythia, iris and lilacs are all budded and ready for Spring. In December. In Maine. The Witch Hazel has bloomed twice since October. The grass, when the day is warm, is bright green.

I have most of the laundry finished and now have all G's shirts to iron. Start the New Year with clean clothes and a closet full of freshly ironed shirts. Clean sheets on the bed, also.

My pen and paper journal will come to a close by the end of January--time to think of a new theme for the next book. This year has been spent on recording what I eat everyday. I did try to draw something each day, at the beginning of the journal. Very nice pictures of pears. Why did I stop? Oh, yes, I went back to work. It is difficult for me to have two "work" experiences at the same time. Why is that?

During my furlough from the greenhouse, I find the time to draw in the journal, make art and do my Pilates exercise. Once I return to work, there is no time for these things. My days are full of work, housework and dog walks. And I am always tired. Falling asleep as soon as I sit still for 20 minutes. The greenhouse work, from March to July, is labor intensive and very physical. From June to September my own garden is very labor intensive. And then it's October and we start rolling our way thru the three holidays. And here we are--December 31.

I think, in 2012, I'd like things to be a bit less of a struggle. The only thing I can actually control, and eliminate, is the time I spend sitting here typing words for you to read. And I don't want to do that. Time Management. That's where I can begin making changes.

I was reading today, that one blogger has a "daily art" thing she does. For her, it will be to hand embroider a 4 inch square each day. I could say I would hand appliqué one of my circles on a square each day. I have them piled up waiting for some work to actually be done. I think the end result, a French looking quilt, would be nice to have.

So. Time Management and One Circle on a Square each day. And I think I would like to create a drawing or a doodle each week. Work on it a bit each day without the pressure of having to finish quickly.

I wonder how Time Management works?

Returning the After Christmas Shopping

2011-12-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, I returned the swimsuit and got the same suit, again, in the next smaller size. The "roomy-ness" of the bust portion of the suit wasn't what I wanted, especially if I intend to go into the pool. And the cherry red cashmere looked "threadbare" when I finally tried it on. And here we have the morale deflating part of shopping. The 16 was too big and the XL was too small.

I wore my new down LLBean jacket on my errands today. Yes, it was light as a feather. But it wasn't warm. It is so loose that air feels free to climb under the hem and chill my back. It was very expensive. So, even though all the opinions at the library (staff and a patron who worked for Macy's for 40 years) was that it was the right size, I don't like it. I'm going to ask G to return it tomorrow when he drives past Bean's on the way to work. Who needs a drafty down jacket?

I did come home with a pair of brown tights. To wear with the tan corduroy skirt and my brown Dansko clogs. Lets hope the size chart on the package is truthful. My impression, while watching the sales people mark down packages of tights, was that the cheaper, less size worthy brands were the ones being marked down. I could be wrong.

Thank you all for suggesting I return to school. I don't qualify for any "aid" packages so the tuition would be mine to pay. But, since, I don't have any driving desire for any more higher education, I will not.

I did investigate a few things on the internet this morning in regard to the 12 by 12 challenge due on February 12. Metamorphosis. I had, what I thought was a great idea, but now I am going elsewhere to see if this new idea can work out. I also need to begin work on "Winter" the new challenge I began. The four seasons in a 12 by 12 format. Calling it 12 by Four. Winter will be created during the winter months and shown, right here, just before Spring arrives. The four individual pieces can be shown as one if the artists involved are interested in showing their work. So far there are four of us working on this challenge but feel free to join in if you want. On reveal day, I will link my blog to everyone who is participating.

What am I reading? Asa Larsson's second book. What am I watching? That 70's Show. A trip back in time to the fashions when I was a young mother. All the harvest gold and avocado green appliances and patterned wallpapers. High waisted bell bottoms with chunky big heeled shoes. The Vista Cruiser. A boat of a station wagon just like the one my dad tried to give me. I kept it for about a month and then gave it back. It was like driving the house around town. I can manage to find something to laugh at during most episodes but I really enjoy the parents most of all. Red and Kitty.

After Christmas Shopping

2011-12-29T16:59:00.001-05:00

Since my car needed an oil change (in Portland), G and decided to spend the day there. We started by dropping the car off at Honda and using their Courtesy Car Service to get a ride over to the new Cracker Barrel for breakfast. The boyfriend had given us a gift certificate. The food was good, the serving sizes much smaller than at the Cracker Barrels we always stopped at on road trips to Georgia or Florida. The service was nonexistent. We had to practically stand up and shout to get a coffee refill. My breakfast was from the Low Carb section. Three eggs (over easy) with bacon and sausage. I brought my own MIM biscuit to eat with the sugar free grape jelly and butter provided. Coffee with cream and Splenda.

I used the remainder of the gift certificate to buy really cute Christmas ornaments. This way I'll always remember the boyfriend's gift when I decorate the tree.

Honda. Well, I got oil changed and new winter windshield wipers. And, I finally bought floor mats. For some very odd reason, my dad custom ordered a Fit with leather seats and no floor mats. Unless he removed them and we just didn't find them when we emptied his garage. Who knows. The mats should arrive this week or by Tuesday. $135. G put some old Jeep mats in the Fit and they move around making me nervous that they will get caught under the gas pedal. I also had the headlamp switch recall taken care of. Now I don't have to wonder if the headlights will shut off when I drive in the dark (something I decided not to do anymore).

I also purchased a Coach credit card holder which cost almost as much as the car mats. Coach gift wrapped the card holder. Nice box and ribbon. My first Christmas Gift to myself.

Second gift was a set of four Wustof Classic steak knives. Twice as much as the card holder. No gift wrapping offered at William Sonoma.

Third gift was a very nice black sweater jacket at J Jill (new to our mall) which was on sale. It's very cute. Has an interesting asymmetrical collar. Little useless pockets. They asked if I wanted tissue paper or a bag. I said I wanted both.

Nothing at Gap or Eddie Bauer or Pottery Barn. By then I was bored with shopping so I backtracked, looking for G. He was in the Apple store finalizing his purchase of an iPad2. He had also gotten some helpful information regarding his new iPhone which he purchased two days before Christmas. Those two purchases don't even come close to what I spent on the iMac I am using right now, but I wonder when he will find time to use these two items. When will he be awake long enough?

Fourth purchase was at TJ Maxx. I purchased a bathing suit. I think it's awful but it was my size and had a skirt. At my age and with my saggy skin, I need to cover as much as possible when wearing a bathing suit. A skirt was necessary. The shape and style of the suit is perfect. The fabric they used is horrifying. Black, fuchsia and this livid green that doesn't exist in nature. It also came in black, neon yellow and the same terrible green. I decided the fuchsia and the black were receding colors. Somehow, in the store that made sense to me. I also got a cherry red double cashmere turtleneck marked down.

Then we drove to Trader Joe's and I bought 8 bottles of that Sicilian red wine I like: Nero d'Avalo. $4.99 each. Can't beat TJ's wine prices. I also bought five ruby red grapefruit and three sugar free dark chocolate bars.

At Whole Foods I got really big beets (to roast), two bunches of red radishes (to eat with salt instead of chips), good cheese (Robusto aged gouda), some zucchini (which was delicious last time I bought it) and a handful of California rhubarb to make a dessert sauce. I haven't had a dessert all holiday season. Rhubarb is considered a vegetable so I can eat it. Also very low carb with all the fiber. Avocados were 5 for $5.

Late lunch was at On The Border. I had a skinny margarita (100 calories) and the steak fajitas with sour cream, cheese and avocado. I brought the handmade flour tortillas home. They look so delicious. But I didn't eat any. I also had a "moment" when I was holding a big bag of Big Sky Granola Chunks at Whole Foods. I LOVE that stuff. Once I open the package I can't stop eating it until it's gone. This was the first time I actually considered going off the diet and eating forbidden food. It was a close call. I put the bag down.

Here we are at home now. I have had a large glass of water (the restaurant food is salty) and a large cup of coffee. G has walked the dog. I got my first unemployment claim form in the mail. I also got a letter almost begging me to apply to go to school for some kind of training. I would do it, if I had any idea what I wanted to be when I grow up. But I kinda think it's too late?

Another Repeated Photo

2011-12-28T10:46:00.000-05:00

Today, after a night of rough winds and lots of rain, we have Spring. The grass is green, there is no snow and the weather is so mild, I could open windows to air out the house. It is December. Nearly January.

I am so glad I didn't waste any time yesterday (or the days before) shoveling snow off the driveway.

Tomorrow, Doggie Day Care for Riley and a trip to Portland for G&I. My car needs to have it's oil changed and there was a recall on the headlight switch. So, I want those things taken care of before it actually becomes winter here in Maine. I think we will have breakfast at Cracker Barrel while they work on the car. And we might visit Trader Joes and Whole Foods. Perhaps the Mall. Today, I am meeting a friend for a long lunch. We have weeks and weeks of news to catch up on.

I had planned to wear one of my 1980's Laura Ashley dresses to lunch, but discovered that I don't have even one pair of pantyhose in the sock drawer (other than the new black tights which would not work). Hard to believe. LOL. Hard to believe I actually thought there would be a pair in that drawer. I haven't owned a skirt or dress (that fit) in years, so why would I have pantyhose???? Instead I will wear a pair of charcoal gray wool trousers (1986), a black belt and a white blouse (1983). Perhaps some pearls. So Dolly Madison. Did you know that in the 1800's pearls were considered to be an American jewel? Dolly wore them to the first Inaugural Ball. Years before the British burned down the White House. Can you tell I've been watching PBS?

This is my second "unemployed" day. The first, yesterday, was a great success. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a string of, perhaps, three such days? I think so. I don't want to be greedy and ask for all the remaining days of 2011 to be carefree and wonderful. But it would be welcome.

Winning The Goodwill Jackpot

2011-12-27T16:41:00.000-05:00

I just had to post again--I am so darn happy!!!

I delivered the two giant bags of winter jackets and coats to Goodwill and then went inside to see if I could find a skirt or a pair of jeans.

For $56 I scored:
One dressy black skirt
One tan corduroy skirt
One pair of LLBean Perfect Pant cropped pants (for warm weather dog walking)
One pair of Lee Jeans (tall) in grey denim
One pair LLBean jeans (tall) in black denim
One pair of LLBean dark green corduroy pants (tall) (winter dog walking)
One pair of recently dry cleaned 100% wool LLBean slacks (lined) in my favorite color-- dark green
And best of all, right before I walked off to the checkout
One navy wool LLBean Blazer (three button) that fits PERFECTLY!!!!

PLUS! All the coats I dropped off were on hangers and on the racks with good prices ($14.99 and 19.99) so they opened the bags and quickly priced and got the coats out into the store for sale. Than made me very happy.

So, with my BLAZER and the rest of my goodies in my arms I arrived at the cash register with a huge smile and I think I was giggling. The big smile has been firmly in place ever since.

I just wanted to share this miracle of thrift shopping with you. This has never happened to me before!!! Remember I was trying to fit into that other "test" blazer (14) during the diet. And it just wasn't working for me (the sleeves were too long, the shoulder pads too wide, the hip too narrow). This blazer fits in the sleeve, no big shoulder pads, the hem cuts above my widest parts. This is something I can wear almost everyday.

Two days after Christmas is the time to visit Goodwill!!!

Good Things

2011-12-27T11:30:00.000-05:00

One: I stayed in the house and finished reading my Tudor mystery yesterday. I sipped coffee and munched on almonds. I let the dog in and out. I did not do one bit of laundry. I made a wheat free biscuit and covered it in butter and 2 teaspoons of my homemade grape jelly and called it lunch.

Two: This morning I slept late. Woke up and stepped on the scale. It was good. Then I tried on clothes to see if I could create an outfit or two or three for any events in the next few weeks (I did). I still need a long, drapey tunic type "thing" to layer and wear under a sweater. It needs to be a print. And I need a thin belt to wear over it. 100% of my closet is solids. No prints.

Three: My breakfasts (yesterday and today) have been delicious. Still eggs, sausage, and cheese but these two mornings I have had diced onions and shredded cheese. Yesterday I added a whole avocado and this morning green peppers.

Four: My supper last night was so horrible that the only good part was shoveling the store bought meatballs into the disposal unit and watching them get chewed up. The taste and texture made me actually gag. I saved the marinara sauce they were in and will be making my own, homemade meatballs this afternoon.

Five: The sun is shining (timidly) but the weather is warm (40's) so the dog walking today will be delightful. It would have been yesterday, also, but I just didn't want to. There are days (most) when I am happy to provide for the dog and there are days (not many) when I resent his needs. On those days, Riley has to "make do" with the fenced half acre he has out back. For some dogs, that would be enough. The boyfriend has suggested Riley needs a "dog brother or sister" to play with. I feel like G and I are people who do best with only one of anything. One dog, one house (we are being encouraged to buy a vacation home by our friends), one wife or husband, one credit card and one car each. I can't explain the four vehicles in the garage, only to say that two are never used.

Six: I applied for unemployment yesterday. Now I wait. Twenty three days until we leave on our vacation to Florida. I need to search my storage box for Florida (summer) clothing for the week. That fits. I am not buying a bathing suit. I have one. It may fit now (it didn't when I bought it at the thrift store) but showing all that wrinkly 65 year old skin is so not a "good thing".

Seven: I am taking the two huge bags of clothes to Goodwill now and looking to see what I might try on in the size 14 section. Perhaps a skirt or tunic. Or a skort. LOL. A stop to return books to the library and then home to walk the dog. Oh, and a stop to get meat for the meatballs.

Boxing Day

2011-12-26T10:11:00.001-05:00

I remember the ONE time we were invited to a Boxing Day brunch while living in Germany. It was really quite a delight to be having "Christmas" the day after. The food was wonderful and the glasses of Sekt were even better. And best of all, no presents necessary. I think this is the day the "help" gets their presents and any leftovers from the Christmas Day bash.

My Christmas was filled with Hello Kitty. More pajama pants (which must be worn low under the navel and not pulled up Urkle like to the waist), notepads and the cutest HK pen which I love, love, love. And a wrist purse. White HK head and a big red bow. A big fat red squishy bow. Too sweet. It even snowed.

The dog loved his bone, the snow and the treats. The daughter loved her down pillow, scarf and Santa Cash. The son called from California wondering how and where he was to wear the Ralph Lauren sweater I sent him (like a sweatshirt). The boyfriend arrived in time to have Christmas Burritos with us (he had to work) and there were no leftovers. The daughter and boyfriend packed up their pumpkin pie to eat today, I think. I had forgotten to use the Splenda brown sugar blend I bought for the pie, so I couldn't have any. I had a portion of the whipped cream for my Christmas dessert. Then I cleaned everything up and sat down to read. My eyes were so dry. We tried drops and finally I gave up and went to bed.

I started the day with a shower, fresh clothes, Smartwool socks. The dog has finally eaten his breakfast and is back outside. I don't know what to eat for my breakfast. I did make coffee. My book is due on the 28th so I know I will try to read if my eyes don't get all grainy. I've taken an allergy tab. All the laundry is washed, dried and folded ( I did it yesterday), the floors are vacuumed (G did it yesterday), the bills are all paid (I wrote the checks yesterday). The holiday was spent doing household chores, walking the dog and cooking.

One of my favorite day after Christmas days was while we lived in Germany. We had company (my brother and his family) for Christmas day and they helped us undecorated the tree before they left for their home. We were leaving the next morning for 10 days of ski vacation in Switzerland. I got very sick. A bad chest cold. I either napped in a deep hot bath, walked for hours in the crisp winter sunshine or sat by the fire drinking the homemade cherry brandy the innkeeper made himself. The husband and kids were off skiing each day. The catered evening meals were shared with other McD's families on the ski trip with us. I actually had nothing to do for 10 days. Wonderful.

But, I can pretend to be in a Swiss ski chalet, with my breakfast, a snowy view out the window, crisp air and sunshine and, for the moment, nothing to do.

Christmas Eve- 2011

2011-12-24T12:25:00.000-05:00

My camera is working again, with new batteries. We think the charging cradle is broken. I don't have the knowledge or equipment (to hand) to attach the camera directly to the computer (but I will) so, since this is what I wanted to take a picture of anyway, I decided to use last winter's picture. This year's clementines are a bit darker orange and shinier (and in a different, darker blue square bowl). Full of seeds. But spicy tasting.

I have my daughter's cheese pierogi to make today. The house to clean (after making a floury mess with the pierogi). A few packages to wrap. Bills to pay. I've already been to the library to get G a book to read over the weekend (priority). And I visited the grocery for the items we need for the Christmas Burritos. Every cart (and there seemed to be hundreds of carts) had a large prime rib roast in it. With more in the meat cases waiting for pick up. I've never cooked one and don't intend to begin at 65. With only three eating (one of whom would never eat prime rib).

Yesterday was my final day at work for 2011. Hurrah!! I transferred the "reins of power" to a lovely teenager. She will now arrange, re-arrange, water and repot plants in the greenhouse on what will certainly be her last day at work in 2011. She is delighted. She loves it in the greenhouse. Especially, on a day like today, with the sun shining. Yes, it's freezing cold, but the sun is shining. Doing it's best to melt the ice covering my driveway.

I am coughing and otherwise congested from my shoveling of that driveway after work yesterday. So many wood fires burning in wood stoves and fireplaces. And I am now seriously allergic to the wood smoke. I may have to wear a face mask when outdoors from now on.

I heard on the news this morning, that people who ordered stuff on the internet on Black Friday and Cyber Monday (for delivery by Christmas) are now getting emails (or have gotten them this week) telling them that the stuff they ordered will NOT be arriving for Christmas. Oh, Really???? A Giant Glitch. Or Grinch. I wonder how this will effect the way people shop next year?

I do want to wish every one of you, Dear Readers, a Happy Christmas Holiday filled with everything you love. Be warm, happy and well fed. Laugh as much as possible. Wear warm socks.

A Christmas Miracle

2011-12-22T09:01:00.000-05:00

I weighed myself this morning and am within 1.5 pounds of the goal weight I wanted when I started Atkins. The "trick" to doing this? Who knows. The body is a strange and wondrous thing.

I am getting ready to eat my breakfast, make a bow for a gift G is purchasing today, packing my lunch for work. I got all the laundry done yesterday. I still have pierogi to make for my daughter's Christmas gift. I did manage to make another batch of pulled pork yesterday afternoon (late) and G and I will be having that with fried sauerkraut and gnocchi for supper tonight. Deconstructed pork and dumplings. No, I don't get any dumplings.

G set up the Christmas Express train around the Christmas tree (very cute) and Riley has now decided to stay in the kitchen. Period. So, sadly, G is packing the train back up and taking it back to the store. He also has to get a prescription as the one he had, lapsed. And visit Petco for dog food and treats. He and Riley will be having a busy day.

Yesterday's grim cold, wet icy rain, is a thing of the past today as we welcome the sunshine back into Maine. My great room is flooded with warm sunshine. I just wish the dining room table was clear of clutter so it would look wonderful, as well. Instead, it is covered with shopping bags, boxes of beads, wrapping paper and the still unfinished plastic toy wreath. I did find more small action figures so I think I have enough of them to get back to work.

My camera has officially died. It will open but can't seem to muster the energy to actually take a picture. It's sad. We've been together for nearly 6 years and for as long as I have been blogging. 1300 posts worth of pictures. A close and very personal relationship.

I have investigated new cameras. I even selected two that I thought I would enjoy owning. Another Fuji, the F500EXR and the expensive $1200 Fuji that is impossible to find available for purchase. I want rechargeable batteries again. I do not want to be buying and replacing batteries all the time. I have to do that with my wireless mouse and keyboard. It annoys me to always have to stock up on batteries and have the huge package right next to the computer. Something is always needing a battery.

Time to eat and make that bow.

Ice Covered Streets

2011-12-21T14:23:00.000-05:00

It's dark gray outside today. And it's raining. And the ground is cold. So the rain turned into ice covered roads this morning as I drove behind G towards the Toyota dealership where his truck was having work done, yet again. It was only supposed to be an oil change.

Then G drove my car (with me in it) to Freeport where I wanted to buy two things. A really cute down jacket (didn't have it in the color I wanted) and the gift my daughter had requested for Christmas. I got the cute jacket in black. And I bought another down coat in the men's department for walking the dog. With a hood. I'll look like a Pillsbury Doughboy in it but I'll be warm. All the women's coats come in those awful dirty colors that Bean's seems to like. Dirty, faded red. Kelly green. Purple. And bright aqua. The color of clothing donated to Goodwill.

I did find a black cotton skirt at the Gap but then talked myself out of it. One skirt is enough. I also tried on Gap jeans. Size 14. I just can't deal with the "waist" being 2 inches below my navel. It's like you don't actually have the pants all the way ON.

We had breakfast at the Freeport Cafe. I had the omelet with sausage, cheese, onion and peppers. No home fries and no toast. Waiter asked if I was gluten free as he had a bread they could toast for me. It had 12 g of carbs per very thin slice. Too many. That intrigued him so he went and looked at the carb count on the other breads and found one that was only 7 grams per slice. I then confessed that gluten didn't make me sick. I said wheat made me fat. He thought that was hilarious.

We are back home. G has taken the dog for his walk. I have chores to complete as this is my last day off until Saturday, which is Christmas Eve. Not much Christmas Cheer. It didn't even seem like Christmas at LL Bean. It just seemed like a lot of people milling around and not finding what they wanted.

Customers at work say that the best part of Christmas Shopping is having lunch out. Maybe that's why I am feeling gloomy. No lunch, out. It'll be dark in 90 minutes. The entire day was wasted.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

2011-12-19T09:31:00.000-05:00

I deleted the picture and the post I have been working on for awhile now. It all sounded like something better written in the paper/pen journal and not here. That's the problem with this blogging thing. We over share and make the readers a bit uncomfortable. I was oversharing.

I decided, when I prepared the chili last week, to add one can of rinsed kidney beans to the chili. I think I divided it into 6 (2 cup) servings for suppers and work lunches. The first time I made it I didn't add the beans. I also prepared a pot of Escarole and Tomato soup and didn't add the can of cannellini beans to the soup. I tried eating it without any additions. Added strips of precooked chicken. Then, last night, rinsed a can of beans and added half a cup.

I'm breaking the Atkins Rules. But I'm not sure beans and lentils are the diet breakers that cereal, bread and pasta would be. I could be very wrong. And soup, the way I make it, is very low calorie. Fat free. So I have been adding sour cream or cheese to the chili. Anyway, that's what I am doing. It's cold and I need to eat food that warms me.

My visit to the dressing room of a women's clothing store has made me VERY sad and discouraged. Seeing the body I thought was changing to a smaller size, in the mirrors, set me straight. I don't look any different. My saddlebags are still big and lumpy. My knees are fat. I still have my two Buddha bellies. Yes, I am wearing the smaller sizes of the clothes in my storage bin. But they are still large sized clothes by ordinary standards. Fourteen is considered Plus Size. And I am solidly a Pear Shaped Woman.

The Potluck breads are at the potluck. The shirts have been ironed. Today's major jobs are packaging my son's Christmas box and putting lights on Fatso. Oh, and walking the dog and going to the grocery store.

I watched Survivor last night. Moments after Ozzy was voted off, I changed the channel. At that point I didn't give a crap who won--the three "survivors" were all unworthy. I was finished with it. I wished there had been a way for the jury to just not vote for any of them. Just refuse. It's what I would have done. I discovered, this morning, that Coach did not win. That's a good thing.

That's really the only good thing I have for you this morning. I am not feeling the Christmas Spirit. If I didn't already have the tree here in the house, I think I would skip it this year, along with the handmade cards etc. We have received three cards. I send one out (store bought) when I get a card. I don't feel depressed or sad. I just don't feel interested. I wish all my customers a happy holiday and smile.

I realized this morning, that it's been a long, long time since I actually laughed out loud. I miss laughing. I think I have mentioned that before. Realizing that, made me cry. What a way to start the day, huh?

Saturday Morning Snowfall

2011-12-17T12:40:00.002-05:00

Yes, Dear Readers, it snowed here in Maine. After being 50 degrees or warmer the day before (the greenhouse roof vents opened it was so warm inside). Yesterday was the day I should have been wearing my new red and white stripe thermal shirt from Old Navy with my green work tee over the top. But, no. I was bundled up. Dressed too cool on Thursday and too warm on Friday.

G took me out to dinner last night, Beale Street Memphis BBQ, and he had Mr T's sweet BBQ spareribs and I had my usual brisket and coleslaw plate. I also had a margarita. Really. Friday had been a truly trying day emotionally for me. G shared one of his pile of ribs with me. Delicious. I was seriously sorry I hadn't ordered them myself. I did wear my red and white stripe thermal under a cherry red quarter zip sweatshirt. I thought I looked very seasonal.

My list of household chores today is very long. Christmas Tree lights and decorations. G's work shirts to be ironed. Dog Walk. Cheesy Monkey Bread Baking (even though I got the actual date of G's potluck wrong--it's Monday) I'm baking them today. Two for my work tomorrow and two for his on Monday.

I made an effort to dress well today. Meaning, I am not sitting here in pajamas. Green cord pants, green chenille sweater and one of the three V-neck Gap tees G had in the Goodwill pile. Nice and thick and warm under my cotton sweater. It was probably snugger than he likes. Or is used to. We are trying to limit the XL things in his closet and get him to wear L. Hoping closer fitting clothes will limit his eating of cookies, chips and pasta.

My closet is looking fresh and interesting these days. New striped items, older items that were too small, but now fit and a new pencil skirt and black tights from Coldwater Creek. I even have new shoes to wear with the tights. I have all the "new" stuff right where I can see it when opening the closet doors. And if I create a good outfit, I stage it all together on a hanger so I can wear it again, without having to think about what goes with what. Actually, a woman only really needs three daily outfits, one skirt outfit and one special occasion outfit. If things are well selected, everything can mix and match. I, personally, have more outfits for work than anything else.

On that topic, I can now wear the camo cargo pants I purchased in the early summer of 2008. Buttoned, zipped and I have the requisite one finger space of room at the waist. This was what I wore to work that first summer (after the diet), before I started eating Bacon Pizza for dinner and ham and cheese Yumbos for lunch everyday (because I thought the weight was gone forever). What a fool I was!!!!

I have a hint for all of you out there with pants that are a squidge too tight. Stop drying them in the dryer. I now hang all my pants to dry on skirt hangers or over a towel bar. Everything fits much better. And it doesn't matter if you always dried them in the dryer before. Give it a try. My daughter never puts her clothes in the dryer and everything fits like it did the day she purchased it. And the clothes don't lose color.

That's about all I have to say this afternoon. Riley is ringing the bell on the back door so we'll be bundling up for our one hour walk. Then I'll start on my house work.

Friday : After Work

2011-12-16T16:26:00.001-05:00

I'm tired, the light is gone (bad for photos), my Secret Santa recipient loved her sparkly purple pen and notepaper collection, and today, my Secret Santa gift giver gave me a Hello Kitty Pajama set. I love it. Can't wait to wear it.

Christmas (other than the mind numbing carols on the speaker system) is 75% over at work. We took down the "Christmas Room" where we decorated wreaths and made Holiday Boxes. It's really just two of the regular greenhouse tables with two extra cement blacks to raise it tall enough for table top work. All the ribbons, pine cones and miter balls have been counted and packed away. All the trees and bows that were in front of the entrance doors are also gone--- now the interest point is display centers filled with seed packages.

A coworker has "cellulitis"a scary skin infection. She has no health insurance. She went to the walk in clinic yesterday because the red and black bullseye infection just kept getting bigger and the pain (like being burned by a flame) was becoming too much for her. She has a Walmart $4 prescription for the strongest antibiotic. Thank goodness for Walmart's $4 prescriptions. The infection site is now bleeding. The doctor told her the next 72 hours are going to be a nightmare of pain, fever and diarrhea. They are hoping it isn't MERSA (or however you spell that).

She thinks the infection was caused or made worse by the Hatha Yoga classes she began. The yoga you do in a 120 degree room. She hasn't felt good since her first class. I think she had the infection already and the twice a week high heat just made it spread like wild fire. She wishes she had gone to the doctor LAST week. Now it's a very serious infection and she may need surgery to remove the infected tissue (if the medicine doesn't do it's job), especially if it has gone deep into the muscle. I am very, very upset by this. A sweet 25 year old, trying to pay her bills and get by. I offered her any help she may need.

The Yin and Yang of life is always there isn't it. Such sweet happiness in getting the perfect gift and the pain of watching someone suffer (in terror).

I am also going to have to work all of next week. Crap. But that means I will get holiday pay for Christmas Day. Yin and Yang.

The Tree Gets Lights Today

2011-12-14T10:34:00.000-05:00

Fatso the Tree is drinking plenty of water, smells great and looks very festive. Today I will put the lights on the tree. Always a dangerous task, involving the step ladders. From my first ever climb onto a step ladder or anything similar, I have had a problem when going down and getting off the ladders. I tend to just step back. And then hit the ground. I forget that I am UP. I will be "home alone" and therefore in an even more dangerous position. Last year, I suggested to myself, a moment of thought before moving up or down. It worked.

G was given permission to purchase a "Christmas Train" at his local grocery store. He shops daily for his restaurant (lemons, limes, red onions and whole milk for the coffee drinkers) and sees things he wants. The train looks awfully large (Polar Express style with moving elves) and will be directly next to Riley's bed. I foresee trouble. I'm thinking that letting him see "what happens" will be better than just saying no. And then he can pack it up and return it to the grocery store.

I was incredibly busy at work yesterday. I went home with an almost full thermos of coffee. Never had a chance to drink any. Needless to say, getting home at 4pm, I skipped walking the dog. Riley felt that he had been short changed. And then when G arrived home and spent time talking to me (not Riley) well, Riley moved to his bed and started crying. So G, had to go and comfort the dog. I went to take my shower.

I had my haircut yesterday. I had made the appointment when I was still working 12 to 6 on Tuesdays. So, I had to clock out and then back. The hair stylist is just down the street from work, so I walked. She did a nice job. It's a bit different but still the same. My next appointment is a few days before our trip to Florida. I'm going to take that as a "good" omen.

I still have no idea what to buy for my Secret Santa. G is getting a gift card for his (and some candy). So far, everyone is happy with the things they are getting. There are two gifts waiting on top of the lunchroom fridge right now. Another two have been opened and enjoyed. Nothing for me yet. G also has a "pot luck" at work to go along with the Secret Santa gifts. G will be making Spaghetti Bread (bread meant to be eaten with spaghetti). Everyone likes it and it's easy to take to work. I will be making 2 extra loaves to take to work with me for my co-workers. It's like a very cheesy Monkey Bread. We think we will add Pepperoni to spice it up this year. The table at G's work is usually covered with candy and baked (sweet) things. Everyone snacks. This is similar to what happens at my work. Right now we have candy bars but soon there will be peanut butter fudge, cookies and Babka from New York.

I tried my Blazer With Belt idea and it wasn't successful. I think it's the padded shoulders which give the whole thing a "Dynasty" look. Joan Collins and her mile wide shoulders. Oh, well. I still want to buy a skirt and tights and wear that this winter. I wanted to buy those two things in 2007 but for some reason I never did. I don't have the best legs (ankles and knees aren't bone thin) but I think a shorter skirt is something I should attempt, at least once, in this part of my lifetime. Rejoice in the ability to wear a knee length skirt. A simple pleasure. I hope I can find one.

I am getting dressed now, leaving the house to look for pink or purple "glittery" things for my Secret Santa, the skirt and that's about it. Then, the dog walk and the tree lights. I have the white wash done and will be putting the dark wash in while I get ready to go. Shirts to be ironed later. The verdict on the "shrinking" of the linen shirts will be made after they are ironed. The sleeves seem shorter which is a good sign on some, but the 3X white linen with black embroidered dots (my favorite) is still 3X.

G is enjoying the homemade chicken soup each night after work. Lots of noodles.

When I Weighed 238 Pounds

2011-12-12T10:40:00.001-05:00

I have this picture pinned to the bulletin board next to my computer. It reminds me each and every day of how lost I was for so long. Yes, I am smiling. But I remember how heavy I felt that day. How hot it was. How everyone else was slim. Years and years later, I finally decide to lose weight.

Last winter I realized that the weight was coming back. I had regained 40 of the 80 pounds I had originally lost in 2007. I've now lost 25 of those pounds on Atkins. Fifteen to go.

I know that statistics prove than within five years of successfully losing weight, the weight will be re-gained (plus more). Our bodies have a "set point" of weight and fat cells. Our DNA is programed for survival. Diets read like "famine" to our DNA. The body is always trying to regain what has been lost. It is a hard fought BATTLE.

Somedays it is enough just to have held the line.

Pieces Of Christmas

2011-12-12T09:42:00.001-05:00

I collected the "fresh cuts" from the Christmas Tree Yard yesterday. I collected some on Friday for a coworker. She and her kids were going to make Charlie Brown Trees. Drill a hole in the wood chunk, find a white pine branch (preferably droopy) and insert branch into hole. Add a red ornament. The guy in the tree yard (the one who helped sort out my tire pressure) made a really good CBTree and several customers wanted to buy it. We figured he could have made $50 selling CBTrees at $5 each. But he didn't.

I brought home these planter pots with holes all around. Good for repotting my cymbidium orchids which are pushing the sides out of the pots they are in. They would appreciate me removing dead stuff and freshening up their wood chips. And feeding them some high Phosphate fertilizer.

The sun is finally shining. Riley has been in and out three times now. Very busy.

G and I had a chat about my concerns. He says the tiredness is more from stress and nerves. His day at work is difficult. On the one hand he is supposed to provide excellent product and service. On the other he is supposed to be cutting labor. As I have said before, it's a tiny restaurant. Not much room for "wiggle" when it comes to labor. And he is working with teens and 20 somethings. They have a different view of "employment" than management has. But he has agreed to seek a medical opinion. G does enjoy visiting the doctor. I do not.

I have been wondering what to wear to Florida in January for our vacation. I don't think it's really warm there in January. Warmer than Maine. Our friend's parents will also be in Florida when we visit. That makes me happy (happier). It will be the six of us. Like old times. Like good times. I have decided not to buy a bathing suit.

It doesn't seem like Christmas here at home. My tree is up, still crooked, no lights. G added new lights to one of the outdoor wreaths (48 inches) but can't find the remote connector so we will have to go out on the porch to plug it in and unplug it at bedtime. Which we won't want to do. I suggested a "new" way of doing things. G is to hand me anything he wants to actually "find" again. I will put it away and then be able to lay hands on it when he wants it again. He can never remember where he put something.Which wastes incredible amounts of his time while he unsuccessfully searches. The garbage bags are a big problem. He carries them with him, uses one and then walks away but can't remember where he left the rest of the bags. The remote connector box/plug and the little remote (also missing) is going to be a difficult item to find in the garage. All things Christmas (extra lights, remotes etc) are SUPPOSED to be in the coffee table drawer. Period. Sad to say. The remote is no where to be seen.

G was very angry about me suggesting this "new" solution. He sees this as criticism rather than me trying to be helpful. If someone offered to take care of all your stuff--shouldn't you be happy?

I need to shop a bit in order to put supper on the table tonight. Or look in the freezer for stuff. I might have chicken thighs in there and then could make chicken soup. G wants different noodles so I will have to go out anyway. I need salad. I need some form of protein for lunches this week. And I think I will make chili again. I'm at the point of not being overly thrilled with anything I have been eating. I need something "new" and "fresh" to wake up my tastebuds. My breakfast has gotten very dull as well.

Watched "While You Were Sleeping" last night. What a delightful Christmas time movie. With a warm and happy family. I then attempted to watch Inspector Lewis but kept falling asleep so I just gave up and went to bed. With 560 deleted programs still stored, I can go back and watch stuff from October and even September. TiVo used to delete stuff permanently at the end of the month. My son said that storage capacity has come "a long way in a short time". Well, yeah!

Revelation

2011-12-10T11:29:00.001-05:00

I tried a MIM recipe that had been on the back page of my Diet Recipe notebook for a long, long time. It had an ingredient that I wasn't familiar with (wheat gluten) and I couldn't imagine how all the "one teaspoons" of things could add up to BISCUIT. This morning I decided to experiment. Yes. It tastes like a biscuit. I split the cake in half, toasted it and topped it with butter. JOY. I would have swooned with the addition of some blackberry jam, but didn't.

So many of these wheat free baked (microwave) goods read like chemistry experiments and taste like them. It was comforting to find a recipe that worked (for a change). I can see this being a delightful addition to some sausage and egg on a day when I splurge with more carbs than usual.

I also was digging in the book case and found my original recipe book (which I carry on trips) and there was the Induction Chili recipe I had been looking for for weeks. I actually thought I was going crazy. Thinking I had this recipe written down (in the other book) and not finding it. Gaslighting myself.

I also found a new blog which I will add to the sidebar after finishing this post. The current post is a tutorial on making "perfect" reverse appliqué circles. Tiny ones. There is nothing I love more than perfection in appliqué. This is a way to add dots to things already made and finished. Back, cut, turn and admire. Repeat as needed.

I decided NOT to make handmade cards this Christmas. I wasn't feeling the "spirit" just now. What had always been a joy was now feeling like a responsibility. I think I will bake cookies instead.

I have heard of a website called "auto-correct on iPhone" where they have the top 10 hilarious text messages where auto correct has inserted the word it "thinks" you are spelling into the text. In the paragraph before this one, auto correct typed in "I think I will bake collies". Trust me, they aren't this tame.

I also decided not to make a list of the things G doesn't do anymore. Like vacuum the cars, check the tire pressure, wash the cars, sweep out the garage before winter, cut back the irises, vacuum the house floors. That was just what I could think of this minute. Instead, he lays down on the couch and reads until he falls asleep. He does walk the dog, but off leash. More fun for the dog and G can walk slow. When I walk Riley on the leash, we walk faster. I worry that all this "slowing" down will eventually become permanent. And he will do nothing but nap on the couch. I feel like I already carry too much of the household burden. I hardly have time for my arts and crafts anymore. Hell, I said I wasn't making a list and then I did.

I would like to get more art done when I get furloughed in a few weeks (or days). After I cook, clean, wash and iron. I get so tired of doing all these things, over and over and over. And taxes are just on the horizon and my car needs a check up and oil change. And new wipers. Going to work is actually a relief.

Time to feed the dog his lunch, get dressed, move the darks to the dryer and add the white load to the washer, fold the second white slipcover and put it away, make the bed,vacuum the floors, clean the glue gun and Gingerbread stuff off the dining room table, sort the catalogs and see if I can order anything for delivery by Christmas, put lights on Fatso the Tree (even though she is still crooked in the stand) and make something for supper tonight --after walking the dog.

My New Scarf & AAA

2011-12-09T17:07:00.000-05:00

It's a bit more gold and slightly green in person but it looks as wonderful as I had hoped this color would look with silver white hair and a soft grey sweater. I have it on right now. It feels luxurious. Not like the scratchy red acrylic scarf I wore to work. It was red. And I wanted something bright around my old neck this morning. So I wore it. And collected compliments. Who ever knows what people will be excited by?

G had a horrible day at work. I had a horrible (potentially dangerous) experience with AAA. We are going to dinner to "get over it all".

AAA. My tire warning light came on and I used my card, which I have had for 23 years, to call AAA for service. I stated, clearly, that one or more of my tires was low on air pressure which set the warning light off. In 20 minutes a tow truck shows up with air but, get this, no tire gauge. He proceeds to fill the front tires. I mention it's front wheel drive and the tires are usually lower than the back tires. No, it's all good. He says the back tires "look full" and anyway, "I'm all out of air". Bye.

I wasn't satisfied everything was okay and the warning light was still on when I turned the car on. So, I asked one of the guys in the Christmas tree yard to check the tires before I drove home. All the tires are supposed to have 32 pounds. Each of the rear tires (the ones the AAA guy said "didn't need air") were down 5 to 8 pounds. The front tires now had 42 and 48 pounds in them. If I hadn't checked with the co-worker, if I had hit a pothole or something in the road, my front tires may have busted off the rims. At worst, I could have been badly hurt in an accident. AAA is going to hear from me and I never want Atlantic Towing to come to any service call I make in the future.

After dinner, I will shower and put on my Target Santa jammies. Which are perfect in every way. At some point in the weekend I hope G will straighten out the Christmas Tree. It's tipping a bit.

Riley had a great day at school. Tomorrow we will have an extra long walk.

Let's Be Jolly!

2011-12-07T12:43:00.000-05:00

St Nicholas Day was yesterday. I remember filling shoes with candy and small gifts the night before, for my teenagers, when we lived in Germany. I received one card and sent one of these off, in reply. I always write a short note on the card. I never just sign my name. What's the point of that? I always intended to make a small quilt out of this Mary Englebreit image. I adore her work.

It's raining. And it seems cold. I finished V is for Vengance last night and get to start reading the second to last Tudor mystery with Brother Shardlake. Remember when I stated I would finish out the year in Tudor England? Well, it is working out quite well. And I thank the Reader who recommended this series of mysteries to me, yet again. My local library has none--so I suggested they buy the series. I still plan to read the Zen mysteries (modern Rome) starting in the new year. Even though I now have a new and excellent Swedish mystery series by Aso Larrson. Also recommended by a Reader. Such a choice. Sweden or Italy for the winter months.

I get a little "newsletter" from Martha Stewart (usually recipes) but I looked at their sidebar and found some really cute slippers. Of course the article was on adding embroidery to purchased slippers. And even though all the commenters (from 2008 to now) asked "where do I get these slippers?" MS NEVER replied. Those slippers are very, very cozy looking. I would buy multiple pairs. I love good slippers.

Here they are, snatched from the MS website. I really should avail myself of this "snatching" of images more often. Then you could "see what I see" and know how I spend my days. I tried finding a "how to website for these but my skill with the internet isn't very sophisticated. Any of you better at this? First published in 2008, I would imagine, if they could be found, they would have been already. This is my absolute favorite style of slipper. Dearfoam used to make something like this and I would buy 6 pair at a time. They were never this cushy. My last, very last, pair, in red, were purchased many years ago at a Big Lots outside of Atlanta.

I have considered tearing my last threadbare pair of slippers into pattern pieces. What do you suppose the material is for these pictured slippers.

I also tried to visit the daily blog site for the Boro Jacket being made by Melly Testa but it seems to be a paid class. How do you manage to get into these things? Deborah (sidebar) is cutting up her husband's knit shirt and making a scarf. Remaking seems to be the style for this Christmas.

I'm off to get dressed so I can go to the library and Target. Later this afternoon, my Fatso Tree will be coming into the house and I need to have one more 150 light string of lights. I made Broccoli Salad for my lunches this week (broccoli, onion, bacon, cheese and mayo) I added slivered almonds but I think I've seen sunflower seeds added. This is my first time making this salad. Any tips and additions from any Readers? I "just" noticed the "salad" was Atkins Friendly (meaning full of FAT). I'll try not to eat it all the first day. Because, I think, if I remember correctly, the salad is "mit Music" as the Germans say (if it makes you toot).

Tied Up & Tired Out

2011-12-06T18:08:00.000-05:00

So many things going on this week, already. Work has been crazy just because there are so few employees and so much territory to cover between gift shop, garden center, Floral, greenhouse, Christmas Room and tree yard. And that isn't even taking into consideration the cash registers. Or answering the phone. Or taking phone orders. Five of us this morning. Crazy.

I called the central nursery and asked for the person my boss said would "set me up" with a good Christmas Tree. He actually did. G stopped by my work tonight and picked up "Fatso", a tree that is almost as wide as she is tall (8-9 feet). My coworkers thought I was crazy as Fatso would fill their living rooms. Not mine. The fatter the better. I'll just move one of the big chairs and settle Fatso right there in front of the fireplace. I had a choice between two great trees. A fat one and a skinny one (by comparison). Since my life is sort of ruled right now by Atkins and the need to eat FAT I decided to get the fat tree. It has a certain "meaning" for me. And makes me smile.

My daughter tells me I MUST go to Target tomorrow and SEE the HelloKitty appliances. Especially the HelloKitty Toaster. S says the Toaster is a big Hello Kitty head. Too cute. S didn't buy it for me because I don't eat bread (toast). I do want to go see it and take a picture. They also have a HelloKitty pink hairdryer. (I don't dry my hair)

I have to go to Target to buy more tree lights, if they still have any. We have started moving stuff around already, getting ready for Christmas to be over. Taking ornaments off trees etc. If I remember correctly, Christmas merchandise will be in short supply momentarily. Crazy, isn't it?

G and I went to Whole Foods and Trader Joes last night. I purchased my favorite things at each. Olive oil and marinara sauce at TJ's and fresh vegetables at Whole Foods along with sausage and cheeses. Then I stopped at our local grocery ( I hadn't gone during the day) for yogurt, eggs and Jimmy Dean sausage crumbles. My breakfast was sausage, WF cheese, WF spinach and eggs. Lunch was salad and goulash topped with sour cream. I don't know what I will have for supper. G is having two TJ rice noodle soups. He's tired and has already taken his shower and put on his jammies. It's 6 pm.

Riley is also tired and is cuddled up with his big squishy Moo Cow toy. Time for me to take my shower.

Proceeding With Caution

2011-12-05T10:37:00.001-05:00

My day has started with sunshine, good coffee, a happy dog. Even the blogs I read this morning were filled with good things like Peppermint Bark, nut filled Chocolate Blocks, and even some Holiday Cheer. Last night, well, I will forget last night happened. Let's just say G and I experienced a "failure to communicate" which resulted in three giant wreaths hung on the porch with 75% of the lights working on two out of three (I only wanted one that was 100%), no Christmas tree in the tree stand. G would have had to trim 30 inches off the top or bottom. He neglected to "think" about calling work. Where I was. He could have driven over with the tree and we could have exchanged it for a better height. Now, I have another whole week without Christmas.

I was angry. Ate my dinner alone while he continued to nap on the couch. (yes, I came home, yet again, to find him sleeping) Then read my book. I actually think coming home from work to find him asleep on the couch is the reason I get so angry with him. What a "Welcome Home" that is? And he just goes back to sleep after we talk about how he spent the day.

Never mind.

Today I have been thinking about what to make or buy for my Secret Santa at work. I have the gal who loves Christmas, pink, glittery things but not Santa. I have the recipe and list of ingredients for the Peppermint Bark. I need to make cookies to send to my son. I am cooking my breakfast omelet as I type this; egg, cheese and sausage. I found the recipe K gave me for Broccoli Salad. It has everything I can eat on Atkins so why not? Broccoli, mayo, bacon, cheese and almonds.

We were busier than usual this weekend, at work. Which is good and bad. We are running out of trees. And a new shipment doesn't arrive until Wednesday. We are also running out of bows for the wreaths. And yesterday I had to stop making Holiday Boxes because we didn't have any more balsam bundles of greens. Running tight is one thing. Running out on December 4th is not a good thing. Wreaths and trees are what we are selling this year. And poinsettias. I stayed busy.

I also have to decide on the annual handmade Christmas Card. I am not all that excited by the "making" of the cards this year. (I am nearly ready to just "skip" Christmas this year) I haven't had any great ideas for a "tree" variation. I've painted, stitched, drawn, collaged (twice), pieced (twice or more) in years past. I wanted to do something "else" but nothing is coming to mind. I could send a sprig of Balsam and be done with it. Perhaps, I could print a sprig of balsam? One thing for certain, I won't be shopping for anything to make the cards. If it isn't here in the house--I won't be using it.

Nearly done eating my breakfast. Going to go iron shirts for G to wear to work, finish the laundry, make my grocery list, make the bed, straighten the living room (full of dog toys), start the dishwasher.

What????

2011-12-03T14:36:00.001-05:00

Editorial Note: Added many hours later. I was trolling the blogs for a new diet--The Fat Smash which allows oatmeal, rice and even shredded wheat. I was all set to go off course and then decided to try on an old vintage dress from the mid 80's when I thought I "looked great". It fit. Gobsmacked ME! It even fit better than in the 80's which is saying something since I am much "fuller" at the bustline than I was then. I was a afraid of zipping up (to some point far from the top) and being stuck in the dress the remainder of the afternoon. Not so.

I did try on another German dress and it is 5 inches shy of buttoning at the waist. I think it might have fit for 15 minutes in 1986.

I am wearing a delightful fleece jacket (XL) which now fits perfectly as a swingy little jacket, as it was meant to be worn. I lost the fleece flower to pin the top closed but have decided to add a button and button hole. Now, I am warm and ready to walk the dog. See you!!!!

Temptation

2011-12-03T10:13:00.003-05:00

My apple is made of wood but the image is real enough. I sliced a loaf of sourdough bread for G last week and was lost in the smell, feel and observation of that crusty bread. I wrapped it quickly and sent it into hiding in the freezer. I wanted to eat it. This was the first time, in the diet, that the urge to eat something was so strong. Nearly overpowering. Fresh bread and boxed cereals. I managed to give away all the boxes of cereal. I have to admit to feeling lost by the depth of desire I felt for that loaf. Shaken. Tempted.

I was reading LCC (it's in my sidebar), this morning and he admits that low carb diets don't work over a long period of time, and may not work more than once (the first time). Why are most of the forum comments made by people, restarting Induction, time after time? Because they fell victim to Temptation.

I want to return to my regular life. Eventually. But now, suddenly, like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown in my face, I can see that I will never be able to "return" to what I think of, still, as a normal life of eating. I am not actually "on a diet". I have actually changed the way I eat. Forever. One day at a time.

It is exhausting to try and get your body to give up it's "fat position". Once fat, you have those newly accumulated fat cells forever. And your body wants to fill those fat cells full of fat. The solution? Never get fat in the first place. Ha. Too late.

Once upon a time, in the 70's, I weighed 188. I stopped eating for 5 or 6 weeks (I drank only coffee all day) and lost 50 pounds. Yes, 50 pounds in less than 6 weeks. My teeth felt loose and my hair fell out but I was finally THIN. Size 8. I managed to stay somewhere between 135 (my high school and college weight) and 160 for the next ten or fifteen years without dieting. Then I ballooned to 238. I was depressed about living in Maine. I stayed that heavy for a very long time. But as I neared 60, I wanted to stop being fat. I dieted. 1200 calories a day and a one hour walk. Everyday for 365 days. I reached 158. And everyone was telling me how awful I looked and how mean I was. So I started eating like I had when I was 238. How incredibly stupid. Over three years, my weigh fluctuated between 178 and 198.

Now, with Atkins, I have managed to go from 198 to 173 in seven months. It doesn't seem like much. No amazing 60 or 80 pound weight loss. But no one is saying I look awful or act mean. I am 13 pounds away from my goal of 160. I actually want 158. No good reason, other than at an emotional level, it seems like a good place for me. I don't think I can ever get to 138, the weight where I felt best. My body won't let itself go there.

The 1200 calories a day won't work it's magic any more. I can't fast. And, now, I learn that Atkins won't work for the long haul. I feel lost and so very tired of the whole thing (which is how I managed to get to 238) and so I have decide to write about it all and just get everything out there. Be honest and open. Let the Universe see what I am troubled by and hope that some answer comes to me. From somewhere.

Time for breakfast (eggs) and I have laundry and shirts to iron and a very large bag of large clothes to take to Goodwill. And a dog to walk. And a life to live. And fat cells to struggle with for years to come.

Holiday Plastic Toy Wreath Project

2011-11-30T15:21:00.001-05:00

It seemed easy enough. Collect a bunch of small plastic toys, find a twig wreath, heat up the glue gun, and start applying glue to the toys and stick them to the wreath. Well. Some stick and some don't. Some look nice together and some don't. I find I need more action figures. I have plenty of Barbies. And now I think I will have to "pick and wire" the little toys to the wreath. Bugger. In this photo I have the "chosen" toys loaded up in the middle of the wreath. Easier than digging in the toy box every time I need a toy. I had intended to use the Legos as "filler" but they don't want to stick to anything.

I had the windows open this morning. Maine has had the WARMEST November in HISTORY. I took advantage of today's spring like weather to air out the house. Freshen things up. Then I walked in the woods with G and Riley. Riley got to play with two dogs. Willie and Dozer. Riley is now "overtired" and is having trouble settling down. We are playing "in & out". As soon as G leaves for work, I will NOT be opening the door for Riley. He can "adjust".

G and I drove into town to get a book at the library and pick up our Christmas tree at work (in the pick up truck). Picking up the tree makes me very happy. In no time at all it will be in the house and covered in tiny white lights. I think it's about 10 feet tall, like last year. And I will just cut the top off where it touches the ceiling. The bottom is wide. It's another wild tree. So it's all goofy and natural.

Another thing making me happy today. Size 14 jeans. Wearing them (and finally understanding why people love wearing jeans). Not tight, anywhere. Comfortable. And over the top a heavy flannel shirt. Buttoned and still loose over the hips. And my "test pants" are looser than these jeans and I had to move the waist button over this morning. The scale shows no major loss of weight but my clothes DO. I removed several items from my closet this morning. I will never be the size that fits in those large clothes again. Finally. I am seeing that things can change. This is a major step for me. Not having back up clothes in larger sizes.

The obituary for the stylist/friend who did the hair and nails for my entire family was in the paper today. She died ten days ago. K had just celebrated her 40th birthday. She died way too young (suffering terrible back pain for years) and deserved better. She was younger than my son. I don't know how her parents can bear the loss.

My Second Holiday Purchase

2011-11-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

The light here in Maine isn't the best this morning. Bright but dulled by clouds. This bow is startling in it's green FLASH! I saw it sparkling away in a box on the worktable and I shouted "can I have that?" and my co-worker laughed and said sure. I will manage a photo of the full glory of chartreuse green with glitter one of these days. Still no 8 foot tall wild trees. So, no Christmas Tree for me as yet. I am ready, right now, to strings lights and dangle baubles on my tree. I am ready for a little Christmas.

G managed to get the new exhaust fan installed in the main bathroom (the one with a shower). The master bath has no shower. That should have been a signal to the two of us that this house was peculiar. It has a tub, but is far from the source of hot water, so, by the time the tub fills, the water is all cold. Miserable. I need Helen's tub with the "reheat the water" feature and the "bubbles". It must be like soaking in champagne.

Work, yesterday, was exhausting but the "golden side of the coin" as my daughter is fond of mentioning, is that I was wearing pants that fit for the first time in 4 years. And no wedgie ride up in the rise, pockets lying flat against my hips, and plenty of leg room. No sausage casings. I have no idea what size they are, but that doesn't matter. They fit properly. I wore a long pullover sweater over the top. Also, something rarely if ever worn due to fit issues. I looked thin. I felt thin. I felt fantastic. Bother with the scale which says the wrong number every morning. I now have a "power outfit" to wear when I need to feel powerful and thin. Steel grey which suits the silver grey of my hair and my still suntanned face. A bit of rosy blush and I look good. Alive.

I did a load of darks this morning before breakfast (bacon, egg and cheese on a flax MIM), let the dog in and out several times, read a few blogs and monitored the repotted/divided African Violets I carried home from work. I divided a huge Violet for a customer and the plant, while very large, had very few roots. I think the next few days and weeks will be a struggle for the newly divided plants (6 large, 12 inch in diameter violet clumps). The two I have are still good in the center but the outside leaves are wilting a bit. Of course, the two I have are not the best. Those (three) are still at work waiting for the customer to pick up on Tuesday. Which reminds me to pot up the Clivia orphan I also rescued at work. Root rot.

I happened upon one of the shopping networks last night selling a Fujifilm camera. It had a huge bundle of "software" and that is why I didn't call and buy the camera. Only $199. I just want to install the camera here on the desk and transfer pictures to iPhoto, use them and then move them to the trash. I don't keep pictures. I don't make Flicker albums or books. I am not like everyone else, I guess. With huge files of pictures on the hard drive or in the "cloud" storage. I rarely even take the camera anywhere outside the house. How strange is that? It's merely a "tool" like a good pencil or pen.

So, housekeeping (vacuuming up glitter from the Gingerbread House), laundry and shirt ironing. I also need to visit the grocery to buy Atkins Diet Food for the week. At work. Today is G's 65th birthday. I think he may want to go out for dinner, but it's Monday and here in Maine, Sunday and Monday the local restaurants are all closed. Except for chains, which are always open. We'll see.

Gingerbread House Redux

2011-11-27T19:38:00.000-05:00

I did a few things to "sparkle" up the Gingerbread House. I added new trees out front (I bought them at Big Lots last year but they have them again if you are interested), shiny pink bows over the window peaks, new snow and I jazzed up the lollipops on the roof with beads and gumdrops.

This is a detail shot of the painting I did to make the house "cookie-like" originally. I also "baked" Sculpty clay into cookies (hearts and the boys) going for a German spice cookie look with the hearts. This year I added more gumdrops to the roof peak.

Here's the front view with the new trees, red bows, little red sparkly balls over the door and under the second floor windows. I also purchase a candle ring to use as a wreath over the front, center window. I was trying to add more red to the whole design as it seemed rather pale and not Christmassy enough.

Tomorrow the house is traveling to work with G. We'll see if the customers can keep their hands to themselves and not pick and pull the trim and fake gumdrops off the house. It looks really nice. I'm happy.

I don't know why the type is going this way. I am too tired from work to even attempt to fix it. G has been working in the bathroom to install the second exhaust vent. So we will be more efficient when we try and remove the large amount of moisture in the bathroom after we take showers. Which I am going to do right now. I can't wait. I am covered in dirt from repotting things, filling boxes with sap covered evergreens and sweeping the floor.

My First Holiday Purchase

2011-11-26T10:51:00.000-05:00

I had been noticing this metal wreath, at work, for many weeks now. Wondering why no one had snapped it up. I thought it would look wonderful on my front door (and it does). Yes, dear Readers, my front door is this exact color. The color of rhododendron leaves in Spring. I had it color matched. The white snowflakes have a bit of white sparkle glitter and I adore the tiny bit of red in the berries. Ten Dollars and it makes me smile. And the sentiment is "spot on" as they say across the pond.

I had less sleep, last night, than usual. To bed at 11:30 and awake before 4 am. I also have regained the one pound I lost yesterday. I think it's the pistachios. My ring is not as tight this morning. I intend to drink more liquids today. Eat only protein and fat. See what happens. I think lack of sleep also causes water retention. I feel anxious.

Work was good yesterday. Seven carts full of Poinsettias. They have no fragrance but they certainly add color to the greenhouse. I apologized to my boss for not coming in on Wednesday and he said it didn't matter as things were slower than he had thought they would be. Three people called out and they still had too many people working. Yesterday was busier. I was always busy. Making Holiday Boxes. Repotting things. Arranging all the Points by type and variety. G brought me a coffee near the end of my lunch break (2pm). There was some concern that the employee parking area would freeze into a skating rink making getting up the hill and out a problem (as it had been on Wednesday evening), so we all moved our cars to ice free areas on the hill. I think they may sand it today. Or not.

Our Thanksgiving dinner was more delicious than usual. The turkey was tender and moist and flavorful. The green bean casserole made with 1/2 cup of mayo and 1/2 cup of sour cream instead of the can of mushroom soup, was delicious. I will never make it with canned soup again. I did top it with the canned onions. They are low in carbs. I missed the baked sweet potato. A lot. I hope by next year I can have a small sweet potato topped with butter. The mashed cauliflower looks like mashed potatoes but it isn't. BUT, I had a full Thanksgiving Plate, which looked like everyone else's plate, and when on a diet, on a holiday, that is a very important thing.

The sun is shining. The dog is outside doing things. I have had breakfast and two cups of coffee. My lack of sleep is starting to be noticeable. I have housekeeping to do and hot glue work on the Gingerbread House. A good book (Swedish author recommended by a Reader) and I TiVo'ed Devil in Prada last night to watch today. Best if you can skip all the commercials. I really need to get Netflix. But I have heard they have a poor selection of movies. Or are "people" referring to NEW movies? I think movies from 2005 are "new". Love Actually is being recorded today. I missed Pride and Prejudice. I am hoping it comes on again in the next month or so.

That's all I have for you today. I seem to be the only one blogging this weekend.

Thanksgiving Morning

2011-11-24T11:03:00.000-05:00

Bright sunshine. Riley is out in the snow, watching the squirrels travel in the tree tops, the falling snow giving away their location. He is hoping one gets careless and travels on the ground. Hopeful. We were told the snow would melt by this morning. Ha Ha. I am Thankful I spent the day shoveling, yesterday.

The Pumpkin Cheesecake has been made, baked and is safely waiting in the fridge, to be covered in whipped cream later this afternoon. G and I have eaten breakfast and looked at the pile of catalogs we received in the past few days. I still need to check on the turkey and then go out into my garden to pick sage for the stuffing. I picked fresh parsley on the afternoon before it snowed. I have bacon, so will be adding bacon to the roasted brussels sprouts. I plan to mash cauliflower for my own "low carb mash". We'll see. I am Thankful to have food in the fridge and a good meal to look forward to today.

My 14 days of Strict Induction ends today. No amazing results. Three measly pounds to show for all the effort I put into staying "clean" as the Atkinteers call it. I know it's water retention. But I have no idea what is causing it. If I did, I would stop doing whatever it is. I've eaten plenty of food, lots of fat, big salads. I added kale or spinach to my omelets this week. I had hoped and dreamed of losing 7 pounds (the normal amount most people lose) and thereby getting close enough to my goal weight to keep me enthusiastic about the new way of eating. Yes, I know, that when you get this close, the body starts refusing to lose weight. I am Thankful today that I haven't GAINED any weight in 6 months.

Wheat Belly sent me three recipes for the holiday meal. Pumpkin Pie, Gravy and Stuffing. Three holiday essentials that are difficult without wheat. WB subs cauliflower for the bread cubes in the stuffing. I was going to sub TVP. Terry sent me a link to her Cranberry Salad which can be made with sugar free jello and Splenda. It includes an orange and an apple which I can't have. But next time I cook up a batch of cranberries, I will add a box of jello to sweeten it. Now that my 2 weeks of Induction is over, I can have cooked cranberries and whipped cream for dessert. I am Thankful for my tiny desserts of sweet/tart stewed cranberries or rhubarb which help me stay on Atkins.

My plans for the day include cooking, working on the Gingerbread House (G will take it to work on Saturday morning), clearing off the dining room table and making it look "festive" for dinner with candles, the good dishes and real silver flatware. I may starch and iron the linen napkins and fold them into a special shape. I have a bottle of Italian Prosecco to serve with dinner. Fizzy wine in Champagne flutes.

Today is one of the very best of Holidays. Terry said it best on her blog. It's all about Family. Not about religion or gifts or anything else. It's just family sitting down at the table together and eating one of the best meals ever created. Roast Turkey and the Sides. And finishing with Pumpkin and whipped cream. Melody was correct in saying she was wearing her Expandomatic Pants to dinner.

I am Thankful today that my son's first employer out in California still includes C in his family Thanksgiving Dinner (as they have for 18 years now).

I am Thankful that my daughter is having dinner with her boyfriend's family this afternoon. S was alone for over 12 years and very sad and now she is happy and L's family adore her.

I am Thankful for having G by my side in all the Turkey preparations for the 43rd Thanksgiving together.

I am Thankful we are all in good health, happy in the way we spend our days, have a good dog for company, and the sun is shining. I am Thankful to have friends out in the blogosphere reading these words and sharing my life. It's all good. Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy "Hello Kitty" Holiday to Me

2011-11-23T16:04:00.001-05:00

McD's is having a Hello Kitty Happy Meal this month. And G brought a set home for me. And here they are all lined up in front of my Birthday Kitty Dolls and My Hello Kitty Lunchbox. I can look up, over the monitor screen, and see all their little black dot eyes and yellow button noses. I don't know why Hello Kitty is suddenly so popular after lying fallow for so many years. I just wish I knew where the lovely, big, Hello Kitty doll I had when we lived in Germany, is, right now. No one has seen it.

I am tempted to buy the greeting cards with the Hello Kitty, Kitty on them--just to have in the greeting card box. Not to send. I am really, so easily, made happy with these tiny things. It makes no sense.

Shoveling the driveway took four hours. (Do you think there will be any weight loss?) The snow was deep and heavy. What they call "heart attack" snow because men usually have a heart attack while shoveling the heavy, wet stuff. I call it "back ache" snow. The end of the driveway was PACKED with snow chunks from the plows, that were 3 by 4 feet wide and deep. I can't imagine what they weighed. I scooped them onto my scoop shovel, then slid them across the street and into my neighbor's ditch. Not her driveway. Who cares if they have extra snow in their ditches?

For some unknown, weather related reason, there is always more snow piled on my side of the street and hardly any on my neighbor's side. There was no way the Honda Fit could have powered through that much snow. I wasn't going to work or anywhere else until I shoveled. G wouldn't have had an easy time with the snow blower. The snow was too wet.

I am now medicated (big orange pill), G is home from work and on his way out into the woods with Riley for a walk. And G has the next two days off for the holiday. He didn't know. So, he's pretty happy.

I should be starting in on making my pumpkin cheesecake. I. Should. Be.

Same Place- Different Pajamas (Green Plaid)

2011-11-23T09:50:00.000-05:00

It's snowing. The street has been plowed and a huge pile of wet snow has been deposited at the bottom of the driveway (which I need to shovel before I can go anywhere). The dog is snoring. I have called work to say I will be late (don't really want to go), eaten breakfast, sorted recipe cards in my recipe box (found the pumpkin cheesecake recipe), had two cups of coffee (decaf), forgot to weigh myself this morning, noticed I only have two days to get the Gingerbread House ready to go to work with G. A typical morning. In the winter. And it's not winter yet.

I should have photographed the list of "things done" that I made on Monday. Twenty things. I actually do more stuff than I thought I did, in a day. I usually think I have done nothing.

Yesterday began, at work, with a customer ordering a "celebration of life" potted Peace lily for a young woman who had died much too soon, unexpectedly. Someone I knew. Someone who had cut my hair and painted my nails for years. I was professional while I took the order over the phone and then I cried. I had known, but didn't believe it was true. It was true. And it was heartbreaking. She had been in tremendous pain for one or two years now. Her back. G and I saw her only a few weeks ago. We stopped to say hello. She reached out to me. I squeezed her hand. I would have hugged her, but was afraid that would be painful--she was in pain, sitting there having supper with her parents. I hadn't seen her in a long time. But I am thankful for that last moment with her.

So, something very sad to start the day. And then, as I was serving G his supper, the phone rang and a dear friend on the West Coast called, instead of sending an email, and we talked for a good long time. It was like we had never stopped talking (but we had grown apart when I stopped traveling to see her). So, the day ended with a good thing. The Yin and Yang of life at 65. Sometimes more Yin. Less Yang. That happens as we grown older. More sad things happening.

I missed my friend in Georgia even more after that phone call. I missed her this morning as I sorted recipes and found so many from meals at her house. Thirty nine years of intertwined lives.

Anyway. I think I will shovel. Bake the pumpkin cheesecake. Work on the Gingerbread House. I won't worry about work--no one will be driving around town in this mess.

Could You Live With Just One?

2011-11-21T11:08:00.000-05:00

Of anything. I am fine with one man, one dog, one daughter and one son. I am fine owning one car (I have two in my name). Would I be able to own one chair, one table, one cup, one plate, one spoon? If I invited someone to dinner, will they bring their own plate and fork? Their own chair? It interests me today. Owning something but not being "owned" by things.

Many things are already SINGLE items. We have one, and don't really need another. Other items lend themselves to multiples quite easily, then multiply like rabbits. Socks. Underwear. Shoes.

I am making a list, today, of the things I have done. Not a "to do" but a "have done". I already have ten items and I haven't even been very productive. I am also making a grocery list for the big holiday meal on Thursday. Wondering what to make for supper Monday thru Wednesday. Meals on the days preceding a holiday meal are so bothersome.

I gained 2 pounds overnight. My rings are even tighter this morning. Water weight. I think I hold water when I am tired. And, I am tired. I would go back to bed right now, if I knew I would be able to fall asleep. Or, if I knew the dog wouldn't bark and wake me up as soon as I did fall asleep. Riley is snoring away on his dog bed. The sun is warming him nicely by his favorite window.

I just wanted to let you know what I am thinking and perhaps hear what your thoughts are this morning. I don't want to dwell on sad things today. If you want (need) a really good cry--read Posie Gets Cozy in the sidebar. Heartbreaking. I sobbed.

Weekend Update

2011-11-20T18:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was quite mild so we walked the dog together. Riley got to play with a very young female black lab- Juno. She was better behaved. Riley is having "I want things to be my way" issues right now. Isn't going to happen. Things were mostly brown in the woods. I did manage to find some green moss.

Today I worked. Holiday Open House. Remember I mentioned that I wondered what sort of holiday it would be with the economy and unease among people regarding their employment etc.? Well, today was very slow. My schedule for next week is three weekdays and Sunday. See, I had decided to be happy I was working less than 20 hours a week. And the three days are each an hour longer. 30 hours. I am also getting holiday pay for Thursday. Whoo Ha! Show me the money!!!

Somehow I need to find time to make a Pumpkin Cheesecake before Thursday.

I made chili yesterday evening. It was originally a recipe purported to be a "Longhorn Chili" look alike. But it wasn't. And I added and changed a few things. The resulting chili has too many carbs (mostly from the tomatoes) but it is very, very good and contains no beans. I added a package of French's Chili O mix (carbs here also) and reconstituted a cup of dry TVP granules (fewer carbs but some) and added that to a pound of 85% ground beef. I'm going to be eating it for the next few days. Unless I find something with fewer carbs to eat instead. Then I will freeze the chili until after induction.

Since I am working Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday this week, I need to have something good to eat for lunch on those days. And G will want supper. I better think of something that I can make tomorrow and reheat after work. I also have to walk the dog after work. That takes an hour. And I have shirts to iron.

I'm tired. I worked hard today. I made 18 holiday boxes (two custom), watered the entire greenhouse, set out the new plants that came in this morning. On my feet for 9 hours. On cement. 30 minutes for lunch. I did not have a single cookie off the Open House table. I did have a cup of decaf. And a slim slice of aged Gouda (excellent) but when I went back, it was all gone. Thank goodness. We'll be having cookies everyday from now to Christmas. My willpower will be tested.

I lost an additional half pound this morning but my rings are tight so I am holding water. I am drinking 8 glasses of liquids everyday. And not peeing all that much. I'll give it another day and then adjust my diet to limit salty things. The liquids include a major amount of O calorie drink mixes. Green Tea and Lemonade. 4C brand which is new to me, but contains Splenda. I like Splenda.

I may fall asleep before I even heat up something for dinner.

Self Portrait- November 2011

2011-11-18T09:55:00.000-05:00

Heather gray sweater (Eddie Bauer), gray floral flannel pajamas (Cuddledown), white tee (Eddie Bauer). Riley woke me earlier than I had wanted to be up. I am sleeping fewer hours. I don't know why. Six usually and I wake up and can't fall back to sleep.

Dwelling into past relationships in the period between waking and actually getting out of bed. Not usually a good thing. Dwelling involved "picking" at scabs I had hoped were healed over and starting to disappear. I can deal with the feelings of loss, but the endless replaying of "should have/could have" wears on me.

G wants to go on a trip to Florida in January. This involves arrangements for the dog. A house sitter or boarding. The house sitter doesn't seem interested in actually walking the dog. This bothers me. Boarding will be very boring for Riley and he will miss his toys. I am not all that excited by the "idea" of this trip. We are going to visit people we haven't seen in a long, long time. Before that long period of not seeing each other, we saw each other frequently for over 40 years. Like family, it will be awkward and then it will be fine. G wants to do this. He worked with the husband for many years.

I like going places, when I am there. The planning, getting there and the thinking about going are not things I enjoy. I would prefer to stay home.

Night vision is pretty terrible. My drive home from work (with drizzle) was white knuckle all the way. I am thinking that driving at night is not something I should be doing. The oncoming headlights create large bright "stars" and blind me. Astigmatism. My eye doctor says it will only get worse.

Weight loss for the first week of Strict Induction/ Following All The Rules is four pounds. Not close to the 10 pounds a week that really fat people have but finally the scale is moving downward. The closer one is to their "real" weight, the less you lose on the diet. Week number two begins today and ends on Thanksgiving. I never actually followed all the rules before. This is hard. I have a goal weight in mind which I want to reach by the end of the year. 10 more pounds to lose. At least I can try not to gain any weight.

I looked at my closet and realized I have nothing to wear. I mean, nothing goes together to create an outfit. I can't layer a few things and go out. I have sweaters which go with nothing but white tee shirts. I have tons of green clothing to wear to work but something to wear to dinner--hell, no. I have been going to dinner in corduroy pants and a sweatshirt pullover. They might actually have kangaroo pockets. No pictures or writing on the fronts. Plain solid colors. I looked, but couldn't even find a cute scarf to wear around my neck. I have plenty of scarves. It's just that none of them go with anything, or if they do, they are too small or too large or just make me look stupid.

I watched a young woman walk from the street into the bank parking lot. Black tights, ankle boots with heels, black short skirt, dark patterned scarf wrapped around her neck, black leather fitted coat. she had her hands in the coat pockets. She looked amazing. I could wear that outfit (skipping the short skirt and ankle boots) subbing in a nice pair of black pants. Another young woman had on black pants with a black sweater and a brown down vest with a fur trim collar. Another dark patterned scarf around her neck. With those two outfits I could actually make it through the winter in fashion.

I need to get rid of the majority of stuff in my closet. I am no longer that fat woman. Why am I keeping her clothes in my closet?????

Decisions

2011-11-17T09:50:00.003-05:00

I was very happy when I found and bought this praying Buddhist monk. I still am happy that I found something large enough, heavy enough and cheerful enough. But he is so dark. The place where he sits and prays is like a black hole when the days are sunless and in the evening, he is just a very dark, but large, shadow next to the lamp. This morning I am deciding whether to take him back. I know G wasn't thrilled to have him here. And G refuses to allow the monk to sit upon my bedroom dresser. Which is where I thought the monk should be sitting.

I just carried the monk down to the bedroom, removed the pile of Smartwool socks from the top of my dresser and slid the statue into place. It helps that the sun broke through at that moment. The monk is perfectly centered between the frames of two of my wastebasket art pieces. Next to my fake orchid. I think I will wait till next week to "keep or return" my Buddhist monk. He is the perfect size and proportion for that space. We'll see.

I'd take a picture BUT my camera is acting up again. The lens won't open or close without a great deal of coaxing. I really dislike buying new things. And a camera purchase is filled with unresolved anxiety. On my part.

I have just decided to empty one of the gorgeous baskets I have and fill it with my wool socks. Then I can fill the sock drawer with white cotton tee shirts and have them more conveniently stored. A drawer filled with socks is never a good thing. All jumbled up. I am feeling really pleased with this idea.

Yesterday, I made pizza for G. He had to make a last minute run to the grocery as I had no pizza sauce. His pizza smelled delicious. I was roasting a spaghetti squash. Taking advantage of the heated pizza oven. I had leftover meatballs and sauce for lunch and had a bowl of Alfredo and squash for supper. My meal planning for Induction has not been well conceived. Breakfast was ham and cheese, fried crispy, topped with two fried eggs with runny yolks. This morning a sausage, egg, onion and cheese omelet topped with half an avocado. I seem to be having a "regular" morning. How strange, but welcome.

I am going into work as soon as I discover something to pack for my lunch. I am interested to see what plants have arrived to herald in the Open House Sales this weekend. G is working today. He has the weekend off. So we will be spending Saturday together.

I purchased fresh TVP (the stuff I have in a jar in the cupboard is from 10 years ago) and I want to try the TVP Oatmeal substitute. The comments on the forum say it comes out "chewy" which is an adjective I like when it comes to oatmeal. TVP is Textured Vegetable Protein. Soy. I used to add it to any meal where I was using ground beef. To extend the meat by half again and to lower whatever was bad about meat at that time in my life. Perhaps I was short of grocery money. I know that TVP is an excellent protein source and good in chili, tacos and even meatballs.

I watched Work of Art last night. Will they ever have actual artists on this show? One young woman was praised last week for her drawing. She projected the newspaper photo onto paper and traced it. The words she wrote next to the images were misspelled. Her claim to fame is that she and her mother lived with the actor from the Godfather and Scarface for 10 years. So. What. Al Pacino.

I think I am going to have a salad and tuna for lunch.

Resolution, Repair, Restoration

2011-11-16T09:57:00.001-05:00

Today is a day, it feels, where I can accomplish a few things. I can mend some ripped seams in my work pants and adjust the pant leg hems (the pants were petite and now, with the hems removed, are regular), I can remove this piece from the design wall and add some invisible zigzag stitching (see what happens). The piece is a collage of all the lovely self painted fabric scraps I had on my worktable months and months ago. Destined for the scrap wastebasket. I have to "look" at the work and "follow the lines". Make connections. Make sense of the abstract.

I mixed up Alton Brown's pizza dough last night and it has been sitting in the fridge all night. Doing yeast things. G is teaching today, so will be home late. I will be baking pizza at 7 pm.

I am wearing a pair of J Jill wide wale cords in a pastel green. Size 14. Side button, sailor pants style. I have never worn them before and I don't know where they came from (I have had the pants on the closet shelf for quite awhile). They fit perfectly. Well, actually, they aren't tight, but are form fitting which is not something I could say about my clothing before. Usually, my pants choices were "too tight" and I felt like an over stuffed sausage casing or they were too large and flappy. I feel rather dizzy. And last night, G and went out for dinner and I felt like I had eaten too much. So, having the pants fit, seems a miracle.

I had thought this post would be more philosophical. To match the title. So. I deleted three paragraphs of "not much of anything" and will give it a try. There are days when you wake up and it all seems useless. And there are mornings when it seems like you can actually "make a difference". Today is the latter. I feel like I can do something today that enhances ME. Make something, fix something, do something, see something. It only takes one glimpse of it to change your world. I think it's close today.

So with that sense of expectation, I will select my breakfast, eat it and then venture out into the world.

I was just checking my blog stats and a ridiculous post has over 1295 reads. Really? Why that one? Post 809. So many readers who never reveal themselves. Hello. Thank you for reading.

Introspective Period

2011-11-15T15:34:00.000-05:00

Another table and chairs. I think I had already copied this once before (from Style-Files) but didn't remember using it. But I guess I did. iPhoto never gets confused. iPhoto said I already had this picture in my files. I have 221 items in the photo file. Time for me to delete most of them. Yes, delete. I keep no pictures in my camera memory and delete pictures after I have used them on the blog.

I will have to contemplate the meaning of the table and chairs, the implied meal being shared and the crisp white with very dark, darks. I increased the depth of color in this copy. I wanted the white to be center most. The bowls. I know this is an important image as I have chosen it twice now.

Those who have read and seen my drawings, know I am drawn (ha ha) to chairs, bowls and pears. I also like the simplicity of black and white with some earthy color. Here it's brown. I want to sit down, with someone I like, and eat a warm bowl of something, drink red wine and laugh. I want to be happy at this table.

My day at work went slowly and then zoomed to it's conclusion 30 minutes past my scheduled departure time. Lunch does that. I have often wondered if the day would go by quicker if I ate my lunch at 10:30?

The weather here in Maine is reminiscent of Spring. Not November. We were 4 degrees short of the record high for yesterday. They said if there had been more sun, we would have hit 70. Easily. The greenhouse was warmish but because of Atkins, I am always cold. Riley is wondering about his walk. Yes, he did have a busy day at doggie daycare. But I have started taking him for his walk at this time of day. Now he expects it. Tomorrow, we will dig a hole and plant the Rhodie that I purchased at the Spring Open House. And I will finally plant my tulips. Yes, I will.

Cleaning Mode Fueled By Caffeine

2011-11-14T14:14:00.000-05:00

I've gone to the Style Files and found another picture of an all white Danish room. Why am I so drawn to these white rooms? I can't imagine how cold this would seem during a Danish Winter. But I love it. So very clean and minimal but luxurious at the same time.

No white floors in my future but I think drop pendant lighting over G's hand built pine dining table would be nice. I keep meaning to visit the resale furniture store in town for mix and match chairs. These look French. I do like the French doors between rooms, instead of the dog hair covered insulated duck curtains I have used for 20 years. And which need to be washed.

I have the house windows open--getting fresh oxygen into the house. It's 63 in the house (with the windows open) and I have the furnace shut down. An hour or so more and things will change. But the house will smell fresh. In mid November.

The fridge is sparkly clean. ( I keep opening the door and looking inside and smiling) The kitchen garbage can is full. The recycle bin is full of emptied and washed out jars and bottle. It's amazing what we keep. Never use. I still haven't found the large Mason jar lids. A mystery. Still in my pajamas at 2 pm. Still need to visit the grocery or not. Ate the second half of my breakfast omelet for lunch. It all worked out. I think I like the eggs better when they are cold/room temp.

Just clicked my new battery light on over the computer. It turns itself off in 30 minutes. S'eteint automatiquement apres 30 minutes. The whole packaging container has little French things under the English. See, I really do love all things French!!!

Straight Up Atkins - Day Four

2011-11-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

Straight Up refers to Strict Induction. If a food item isn't listed in the Acceptable Foods List, then you can't have it. Day Four began with another weight gain. My rings are tight. So water retention. I don't care as yesterday I felt so much "lighter" and I kept feeling the sides of my pants, as there was room there that hadn't been there before. Part of today's dilemma was caused by eating the wrong amounts of foods. Too little, too much. Usually, too little. Then the body swings over to starvation mode. Genetically, we are well set up to survive starvation.

I made a MIM this morning (for regularity) and toasted it and ate it with half the egg sausage mixture I made for my breakfast. I am full. I'll eat the rest later, for lunch. Only a two egg omelet. But too much. I am also feeling overly warm this morning. I think it will be 60 degrees today. Outside and perhaps even here in the house. Rolling eyes.

Masterpiece on PBS last night was perplexing. An hour long poem. And Alan Rickman looking so awful and Emma Thompson looking so luscious. The food she chose looked amazing. In the end, I didn't like the poem much. I don't enjoy watching people drink and self destruct. Too much like my, early, real life.

I started my Romance too late. After 11 pm. And I finally forced myself to stop reading at 2:30 am. I will finish the book this afternoon. It is better than usual. No one but the heroine thinks the FBI guy is handsome. As it should be. No comparison to the asshole FBI agent on Bones. I can't watch the show because the character is such an embarrassment to the FBI. Did he used to be a vampire? On another show?

Work tomorrow. G didn't vacuum yesterday on his day off. He did cut the grass. And install the new lights and walk the dog. Which is more than I did yesterday.

I am "girding my loins" in anticipation of washing the fridge shelves. What a horrid job. Nice when it's finished, but my goodness what a mess in the process.

Twelve by Twelve announced the new challenge set up, dates and first theme. Metamorphosis. February 12. I am most concerned about working in a 12 by 20 vertical. I don't like the shape. It doesn't have a pleasing proportion. If you use standard watercolor paper as a size guide, what is the nearest size to correspond to 12? (16 by 24??) Which doesn't fit into the "play" on numbers of 12, 20, 2012. I'll cut a backing piece and see what it looks like. Try and get used to it.

The three volunteers who answered my plea for company are interested in a 20 inch square, Four Seasons challenge. Beginning with Winter on December 21. You don't have to reveal yourself in order to play along. Just make a Winter Block. No trading, no rules, no nothing. I will link to any who want to reveal on the day before Spring arrives, March 19th. Work on Winter during the Winter. Followed by Spring due June 19, Summer due September 21 and Autumn due December 21. Four by Twenty.

Straight Up Atkins- Day Three

2011-11-13T20:21:00.001-05:00

At work. Yesterday it was pretty easy to keep busy and eat very little. But, at work, being bored out of my mind; not so easy. I managed to wait until 12:45 to eat lunch. I managed to drink 32 ounces of green tea diet with a touch of lemonade mix. But, after driving home in the dark, having a hot shower etc, I was more than ready to EAT.

Breakfast was egg beaters with jimmy dean sausage crumbles and 2 ounces of cheese. Lunch was a large container of romaine and spring lettuce with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and a cup of the pulled pork. Dinner was the last cup of pulled pork and the remainder of the fried sauerkraut. Then I had a cheese stick wrapped in ham slices. I am still working on finishing my large cup of coffee. I cut back on the Splenda; trying for the goal of only three packets a day. So far, only one. I may whip up some cream for dessert. Yes, this menu is "heavy" on fat.

People think Atkins is about eating meat. Wrong. It's about eating FAT. Butter, cream, olive oil and cheese with a side of sour cream and avocado.

G walked the dog and changed out the kitchen, under the counter, light system. LED now instead of halogen. Not as bright. And I now have a battery operated light above my computer. Nice. Softly illuminating my computer screen. And it switches itself off. The LED lights use lots less energy and won't heat the cabinets. I always worried about that.

Day Three is nearly over. I have a new book to read. A Romance. Hunky, rich FBI agent saves snappy beautiful girl. No thinking involved. Suspension of reality.

Tomorrow I am going to the grocery to buy more ham, more cheese, zucchini to make "pasta" or "pizza", celery and sugar free jello. And more sausage crumbles? I need green beans, broccoli and chicken. Lettuce. Diet green tea mix. The fridge is empty and I think that's the way I like it. If I manage to drink enough green tea (caffeine) tomorrow, I will pull out all the fridge shelving and wash everything in the sink with really hot water. Make it sparkle. Then go buy new food.

I'm tired. Probably boring the socks off you. Sorry.

Straight Up Atkins- Day Two

2011-11-12T12:30:00.001-05:00

This is my second day doing Atkins Induction for the second time. I was getting tired of not seeing any progress so I decided to "restart" and see if that helped. After seven months, things had gotten kind of "loose" around here with the "rules". Still not gaining. But not losing.

177 yesterday morning and 174 this morning. Fascinating. I cut way back on the Splenda in my coffee. I'm eating when hungry, but just enough to where I feel satisfied. It doesn't take much. I think I have been having too much food. And, true to Atkins Induction, I am jazzed up with energy. I am waiting for the peeing to begin. I remember peeing a great deal the first time I did this. I mixed up a half gallon of carb free green tea and lemonade to drink during the day. I can swallow a flavored liquid but NOT plain water. The only downside is the caffeine in green tea which I am not used to having. I had to dig around in the garbage to find the can of tea mix which I threw away on Thursday, thinking I didn't need it.

I pulled on a pair of J Jill size 14 pants yesterday. Not tight. No wedgie when I sit. I think they fit for about 10 minutes back in 2007. J Jill runs small. I have them on now and they are comfortable. Wide wale corduroy, the good stuff they don't make anymore. My other pair of pants is also a 14. So I am feeling pretty okay right now. I did manage to wear size 12 by the end of 2007 and early in 2008. I want to be moving in that direction again. I gave all the 10/12 stuff to Goodwill long ago (as my diet strategy was a complete failure). So, I get to buy new things, if and when I reach my goals.

Does this read like I am talking a mile a minute?

G left me a note saying he was concerned with the plants I had on the sunporch. The night temps have been 40 and below out there (at night, but very warm all day) and he was afraid things would freeze and die. And I would be sad. Bringing them in is not that easy. I had to remodel the kitchen area that you see here. I turned the rolling kitchen shelving sideways to make room for this table, in front of the bay window. The table will be heated from below as the baseboard heaters radiate heat upwards. The coral geranium is something a customer had in a pot. She wanted a "new" geranium in the pot and said I should throw that one out. No. I kept it. I don't like the color but it's a very healthy plant and it's almost three years old. Way to the left, closest to the front is one of my favorite new geraniums. Dark, dark red. It was probably too cold out on the sunporch.

I still have to move the citrus. Five small shrubs. Orange, Calamondin orange, kumquat, lime and lemon. And a gardenia (not the easiest plant to keep healthy). Those things will be going upstairs. As soon as I make room up there for them. I went up to gather the plastic trays the plants downstairs are sitting in and discovered things needed watering. The fabric closet is getting too much sun so I also need to cover the fabric with something. To protect it from fading along the folds. I also BEGAN but never FINISHED the movement of fabric and projects from downstairs to upstairs. I have piles. And empty boxes to fill. And box labels to make. And the Pilates machine is staring me in the face up there. Need to get back to that.

I got a great deal done yesterday. Not as Energizer Bunny as I am today, but all the laundry and ironing is done, fresh sheets on the bed and a good dinner. I even read my book and walked the dog.

Today I will work on the plant situation, which, because I am clearing things out to make room for new things, there will be a great deal of collateral cleaning. I've already moved furniture. I am also agitated by the clutter I keep seeing in my "new" excited state. I foresee a great many bags of trash by the end of the day. And many trips up and down the stairs to the second floor bedroom (where the citrus and orchids will spend the winter). I still need to purchase a humidifier. And dose every plant with systemic insecticide.
Professional Plant Person Mode. I already made a little bamboo trellis for the ivy to climb.

I think a Pier One batik bedspread and some clothes pins will solve the closet problem. Riley wants to go outside. I have coffee to finish.

Three readers want to "play" along with 12 by 12 with me. Very happy about that. Now we wait to see what the new 12 by 12 challenge is going to be and when they will announce it. I also am considering doing 12 inch Four Seasons pieces or perhaps 20 inch squares since there will only be four. And the work can extend to a 3 month period. The Winter Equinox is approaching. December 21st. Then the days will start to get longer.

Elusive Moments In Time

2011-11-11T10:17:00.001-05:00

Autumn seems more "slippery" this year. Never quite what it usually is and then, like quicksilver, gone and I miss what was, but isn't anymore. The light here in Maine, this morning, is grey. I have the lights on already. No bright oranges or yellows. So I made my own with a pressed leaf and that background I never seem to have time to stitch.

I read, on a blog, that the Twelves have a new challenge in the wings. I can't even express the relief I felt when reading that sentence. I have been adrift without their challenges to keep me motivated. AND I, too late, discovered the Exquisite Corpse project and, wow, that would have been fabulous to participate in, but it is now over. Not something one can do on one's own. One must have "others" in order to create these five part corpses. I am really feeling solitary. And it isn't a good feeling. It isn't a good way to move into the winter months in Maine. Unemployment is 6 weeks away.

My fantasy is that a creative group out there in the blogosphere needs one more member. And they ask me. And I live happily ever after.

I read my Tudor mystery for almost two hours yesterday afternoon. Then I got tired. It's a book that requires the reader to pay attention to details. Not like the Cadfael books that could be finished in a few hours of reading. I need to work while reading these.

I have shirts to iron (a pleasant task with noticeable results)

And I should find a way, a project, that can provide the comfort I need right now. Sewing binding on a quilt I finished years ago, adding patches to clothing, embellishing an unfinished crazy quilt block in red velvet and/or making more appliqué circles on squares for my French quilt. I just need to find the right space in my head and hands for these things. They already live in my heart.

Walking In the Woods with Riley

2011-11-10T17:04:00.001-05:00

And G. When we started out, it was warm and springlike. But one quarter of the way into the woods we started feeling an "increase in humidity" and by the time we were returning, homeward, it was softly raining. Riley doesn't care about rain when he is out walking. He refuses to go out to do his business in the rain. Dogs are complicated.

I bought two nice, sturdy, marrow bones on Monday and this morning I boiled them to get the icky marrow out. And after scrapping all the connective tissue off the bones, I gave one to Riley. I can hear him chewing on the bone (he's in the living room and I'm in the kitchen). The second bone is tucked into the freezer for a quick treat on Thanksgiving. Gnawing on that bone with clean his teeth and wear him out. He'll sleep like a rock tonight.

I went along with G and Riley on errands today instead of going to work. Goodwill (returned two items I bought yesterday- one too small (just) and one too large), returned something to Target, G and Riley bought dog food @Petco, we ate lunch at Wendy's and read the USA Today, then Staples, then Big Lots, then the library and finally Wicked Joe's for coffee beans. Fresh roasted locally. I miss doing things with G. So I decided to spend the day with him since that is the most important part of my life. I am tired of always being scheduled to work on his days off.

One of the items I returned to Goodwill was an Eddie Bauer navy linen dress. Large. It fit. But more like a large navy sack. I tried to see if I could enhance it with scarves, rolled sleeves, etc. Still a bag. I looked very thin in this navy straight line bag, well, I looked like the dress I was wearing was too large for me. So back it went. I had tried telling myself it was a good "going to a funeral" dress. Not.

At Target I returned something and then looked at the flannel pajamas. They had these cute beige pjs with red piping and old fashioned Santas all over. Yesterday they had one in Medium and one, I thought, in XL. But it was XXL. So, I left empty handed. I was thinking I might be happy with some Holiday Pajamas.

I read in the USA Today that my favorite show on television this season, Prime Suspect, might be getting the early cancellation AXE. It's gritty and you have to pay attention and listen to the story. Same with Detroit 187 last year. Televison caters to the lowest demographics. Sad but true. If I think it's fabulous it will disappear. And if I miss the first season and start watching something in the second season? And really like it? They cancel it mid season. So depressing.

So, I'll read my book instead.

Starting Over- At The Beginning

2011-11-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

I had all sorts of plans for this 12 by 12 background. None of it "worked" so now I am back to just the brown and blue with this added strip of orange and gold to hand stitch. Someday. Sometime. Breakfast, so far, is a stick of cheddar wrapped in the very last slices of baked ham. Coffee. I made a MIM and topped it with cream cheese but I haven't eaten it yet. Heating up the remaining coffee in yesterday's pot. I woke under the impression I had slept long into the morning. Only 8am. And I woke feeling very hungry.

Monday I managed to cut down the five Spirea, the lilac (which I am trying to kill) and the leggy perennials in the "back of the house" bed. I also cut and bagged the dead peony stems and leaves. Then I traveled to the grocery where I ran into a member of the mini quilt group we used to have (we met every two weeks and were very close, the six of us, for many years, not so much after I lost weight). I had to introduce myself. She had no idea who I was. That has bothered me ever since. Who am I now?

Yesterday I was at work. Riley was at doggie day care where he had a bath etc. A Fall Grooming Experience. His first stop when I brought him home (after voting) was to roll in something at the edge of the woods. I walked him later than usual and it was getting dark on our return to the house. And Riley was anxious for his supper.

This morning I have started in on the huge pile of laundry. First, the strawberry stains on G's shirt. I also changed all the dog bed covers so Riley can stay "fresh" as long as possible. I have shirts to iron later and if the sun comes out, I will attack the front of the house perennials. I got a bargain pork roast so will be making pulled pork again. Even if I freeze most, I couldn't pass up $1.69 a pound. I do want to visit Target today, check out the Goodwill and the new resale shop in town. I want a skirt. Brown. After I finish here, I have checks to write for the bills on the table, a visit to the bank to deposit my paychecks.

I should be home by 1, in time to get the pork into the oven. In time to iron shirts. In time to walk the dog.

I would like time to read. While I can still hold my eyes open.

This morning I pulled on my size 14 green corduroy pants. I was wearing them the weekend we drove to Ohio when my dad died. October, 2008. Sort of a mile marker in my life. So many reminders, this year, of that time in my life. So many dreams lately, disturbing my sleep. A blogging friend is going through something even more recent and more devastating. I know. I feel it. It's right there at the back of everything. Sudden tears. Depression. Anger. We think we have moved through the stages of grief, but it doesn't take much to bring it back. A life has so much baggage.

I am wearing the pants and they fit. No pulling at the waistband button. No gapping at the pockets. No riding up in the crotch. I should feel exhilarated. I wonder why I don't.

Yesterday I was realizing that, just as my father had to go one day at a time for the rest of his life as a recovering alcoholic, I have to go one day at a time for the rest of my life with my weight. Perhaps his addiction is in some way related to mine? Perhaps that is why he comes to mind, so often, these past few weeks. No messages from beyond or anything. I never got messages from him when he was alive. My dad wasn't a communicator. But he did stop drinking for over 30 years. And, as I am now realizing, that was a huge effort. Starting over every single day. No wonder he complained of never having a "vacation". It might have had nothing to do with not working, or going someplace. It might have just been about the daily struggle to not have that first drink.

Rollercoaster: Food Addiction Is A Bitch

2011-11-07T10:02:00.002-05:00

It isn't easy being ME right now. One moment, I am all "right with the world" and the next minute I am ready to tear my skin off. Content. Angry. And my nose is running this morning and my head feels foggy and I feel dizzy. Perhaps, I am sick? I fixed myself some breakfast (a bit late) and hope that evens things out. Trying to control my diet is difficult at times. Sometimes impossible.

G did things to my computer screens again and nothing makes me more angry. I like things plain and simple. All these swirling colors and patterns make my head and my eyes hurt. I have trouble reading the screen. I get frustrated. It's my computer. I am okay with him using the computer but I really don't like him changing things. Everything is now a dull gray. Plain dull gray. I changed it myself and left him an angry note to begin his day. Will he EVER learn????

My Sunday at work was pleasant. We had very few customers in the afternoon so I got to have one on one chats with my co workers. Which is nice as I don't have any friends to talk to any more. Pity Party. My day at work yesterday started a whole hour early as I had no idea I was to "fall back". Really, it quite took me by surprise.

My diet has now contracted even further. My fridge seems to be turning the food inside into garbage which is limiting what I have left in there that is still edible. Cheese sticks wrapped in thin ham slices is still okay. The lettuce storage is iffy. I have carrots which I shouldn't be eating. And beets I can roast in the oven. I do plan to visit the grocery today. G needs breakfast items. I gave ALL my cereal to my daughter. She will take it to work. She doesn't eat cereal. I guess, I don't eat cereal anymore, either.

G got all the grass mowed yesterday. The perennials are still not trimmed back. I need to get out there and do some garden work. I don't want to. Simple as that.

There isn't much I actually "want" to do. I seem to be gaining weight or putting on water or something. It makes me feel depressed. Like a loser. I don't like the sudden change in the weather to "winter" already. None of us at work are happy to be making Christmas things. No one is buying any of it. We foresee a very UnMerry Christmas season.

Hey, is that gloomy enough for you? I think I will just dig in and get started on a few things. Go to the grocery. Think about what to eat for supper. Last night's broccoli cream soup went into the garbage. Seemed like a good recipe but G wouldn't eat it (after I cooked it and was tired etc) so I just threw it away. What the hell. Some recipes "read" as being delicious and then they aren't. I ate it. A bit too salty which is why I feel "heavy" this morning. Water. Weight. One Day At A Time. That's all I can control.

Good News Day

2011-11-05T12:43:00.001-04:00

I woke up this morning to the dog barking furiously, eager to get outside and attack whatever he had seen trespassing in HIS yard. After "it" had been run off the property, Riley had to quarter the area with nose to the ground, neck ruff standing high, full alert. Extremely busy. A second flurry to make sure everything was safe. Then continued surveillance from the comfort of his dog bed, located next to a low window sill.

My email account was full of the very best stuff today. Wheat Belly, Paleo Recipes. I spent the entire morning (forgot to even eat breakfast) reading everything about Wheat Belly. I didn't know that old wheat had been genetically engineered to become dwarf wheat (perhaps 100 years ago). Did you know that people lived on wheat bread, as, sometimes, the single food they ate each day? And now, this wheat, could cause so many health problems.

I know, personally, that not eating wheat has allowed me to free myself from obsessive eating of flour and sugar based foods. Uncontrolled NEED to eat more and more of these products. My husband and I would, before, eat a full pound of prepared pasta between the two of us. Sometimes with only butter and cheese. And then have a bag, each, of popcorn. Washed down with diet Coke. While we reclined on the couch and only got up to take another Aleve for our aches and pains. (G still eats half a pound of pasta)

I still need Aleve. Especially after walking the dog on uneven surfaces.

Did you notice the red Crocs? I finally admitted defeat and paid full price for them. Christmas Foot Wear.
My hairdresser suggested wearing one red Croc and one of my green Crocs for the holidays. One is new and one is worn. I think I would be more likely to trip on the concrete flooring. Green socks and red shoes might be safer.

The meatballs came out fine. Not great, but edible and no one got sick or died. I followed the USDA suggested rules on meat that is no longer pink after a few days in a home fridge. Follow Your Nose was the advice. If it smells funny or feels tacky, don't eat it. It smelled like meat. So I used it. The quality of the taste was downgraded by the lack of oxygen (making it pink) but the long baking in homemade marinara seemed to even things out. I don't plan on buying ground meat "ahead" ever again. If G wants meatballs, I will go out and buy meat and make the balls right away. I served mine with more of the zucchini pasta and I am very happy with it. Just julienne strips of unpeeled zucchini, salted and left to drain for at least one hour. Then it can be stored in the fridge (I add paper towels to absorb water) and lightly reheated. It twirls like pasta and is filling. If you make this--do not cook it. You can rinse off the salt with boiling water over a colander but no cooking.

Wheat Pasta is relatively tasteless. It's the "mouth feel" and the conveyance of the pasta sauce to your mouth that we really want. And the zucchini pasta does the trick. Great in a stir fry or lo mein. In fact, zucchini pasta would be fantastic in any Chinese dish, subbing for rice or noodles. If you had one of those empty convenience food packages (add hot water, steam and drain) you could even bring your own zucchini noodles to the restaurant and ask for a cup of hot water to heat them. Drain and add to your entree. I just wish I had heard of this fantastic meal item when the garden was still producing zucchini as the grocery prices right now are very high. Next year I need to plant twice as many zuke plants.

I wasted the entire day yesterday sitting here at the computer. And so far, today, I have done the same. I haven't even read my book. This lack of wanting to "do" anything that resembles WORK is troubling. I am a project oriented person, usually. I'm hoping it's just a phase and will be replaced by ambitious work in a few days (or better still, in a few minutes). The laundry is getting done, food is being cooked, shirts are being ironed, dog is being walked. I even hand washed all the meatball prep dishes and the stove yesterday. That looks like an impressive amount of work. But the house is a mess and the yard is an even bigger mess. I think I will make the bed, iron a few more shirts, get the dog towels folded and work on clearing off the dining room table (again!!!) My daughter is coming over this afternoon. Then I will walk
the dog.

I watched Prime Suspect last night and Fringe. I recovered all the current episodes of both from the TiVo deleted files (563) and now have them stored so I have something very, very good to watch if I get sick this winter, along with the three episodes of Zen and the new Masterpiece detective in Case Histories. This is turning out to be a Very Good Season for television. I still miss Detroit 187.

Moving to the bedroom to make the bed and fold dog towels.

Christmas Cactus @ Greenhouse

2011-11-04T10:49:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, what customers have been asking for, arrived. Christmas Cactus. This photo is of a very small pot (3 inches wide) with the few little bits that broke off the large plants. I can never throw away something with a "bud" even though I already have way too many Christmas Cactus.

I am still freezing cold, but finally managed to Google "Atkins/cold sensitivity" and discovered this is a very common side effect of the diet, especially long term. And "long term" means anyone doing Atkins longer that a month. Which isn't very many dieters. I can't see a dieter interested in "fast results" sticking with this diet through all the weigh loss stalls.

With the 365 Day Diet in 2007, I don't remember being cold. But, I don't remember much after losing my job in September. And I wasn't eating low carb. I was still eating bread products and pasta on that diet with a limit of 1200 calories a day. So, enough carbs to keep me warm. And I know now that I was losing muscle on that diet. My daughter says I looked terrible (thin but haggard) and was difficult to be around as I was always angry and mean.

She likes me on Atkins. I am usually happy and I look very healthy. I think it's all the fat. Keeps your skin looking "plump" and all the cheese and heavy cream keeps you from feeling hungry. The good feelings in my intestinal tract leads me to think I am allergic to wheat. Have always been allergic to wheat. I have read that we crave the thing we shouldn't eat. And I do crave wheat products if I start eating them. Can't make myself STOP eating bread, pasta or cake.

Anyway, I don't eat wheat now. I just need to find a sub for bread crumbs. I like bread crumbs and have been eating them on my fried eggplant and later today in the meatballs I will be making. It's the ONE food item that I decided to cheat with. The one forbidden item that I allow myself to have. Atkins does sub crumbled pork rinds for breadcrumbs but I haven't actually tried that. Sounds disgusting.

I have a new low carb cookbook with something called "Magic Rolls" which can be dried and crumbed into bread crumbs. I think I will take a closer look at the recipe. I don't want to create something that is a temptation, i.e. looks too much like actual bread. The recipe is in a diet program that allows higher amounts of carbs. So, I think the recipe does include white flour. But it may be lower in carbs than commercial bread crumbs.

I am pretty excited about Thanksgiving Dinner in a few weeks. A website had an Atkins sub for cream of mushroom soup (mayo and sour cream) so I can make green bean casserole. Happy Dance. The can of onion rings is even okay, in limited quantities. I will miss the baked sweet potatoes but I can have mashed turnips instead of potatoes. I don't think I will have cranberry sauce. It's a fruit. And I usually eat half a can with my dinner. I will have large amounts of roasted Brussels Sprouts. So more "can have" and less "cannot" which is always a good indication that I will be happy.

I apologize for so much diet conversation today. It's one of those periods in the diet journey where I have to reevaluate, make changes, etc. My pants are loose at the hips and waist. Really, what more can I want right now?

My little beet quilt didn't work out as I had envisioned. But the background has possibilities. So I will work on the background until I figure out how to make beets. Out of fabric. I did notice on many image websites that beets are always shown in a pair. Two beets in every photo. I was trying to have three.

Patterned Light

2011-11-03T10:41:00.000-04:00

I was intrigued by the pattern the blinds made on the orchid stems. Stripes. I have been visiting a web site called "habit" and each member posts an unposed photo and less than 30 words to describe what is happening in their day. The pictures are simple "captures" of a moment in a lifetime. This would be that sort of "moment" as the light will change and the pattern disappear. I am happy I noticed.

When last we spoke, I was going out to walk the dog and it was 3pm. I had to bundle up; scarf, winter anorak, hat, gloves. A passing neighbor mentioned I was entirely overdressed for the weather. He was in a car. I laughed and said "I'm freezing". And I was. By the time I returned home I had the hat and gloves in my pocket and I felt warmer but not by too much. I have never been this cold sensitive (since moving here 20 years ago) and it bothers me as it isn't even cold yet. The snow refuses to melt.

We had a bunch of leftover things for supper. Some of the fried eggplant. some marinara, some ratatouille, and the remaining mozzarella cheese. I baked all of that on a sheet pan and made fresh pasta for G. He had apple pie for dessert and I had the last three clementines. Survivor, Work of Art and Top Chef Texas. And I fell asleep on the couch. I have book three in the Henry VIII series. But haven't been able to read. My eyes are tired.

All day, yesterday, I thought about calling out sick today and having 4 days off in a row. Wednesday thru Saturday. This morning I realized the "work ethic" of my parents wouldn't allow me to do that. So, here I am dressed for work, lunch packed, dog ready to go off to day care. Not happy. Pushing forward anyway.

The Long, Slow Melt & Responsible Behaviour

2011-11-02T10:55:00.001-04:00

Riley was out this morning checking the depth of the snow on the grass. Every night the temps go into the below freezing (27) degrees and then the sun has to start all over again to warm and melt before the day cools at the other end.

I was awakened this morning by a phone call for G. His work was looking for him. I walked around the house, still half asleep, looking for any sign of him. But G was not here. He was somewhere else prepping for the class he is teaching later today.

We had a very delicious dinner out. G had duck breast with mashed potatoes and parsnips alongside roasted Brussels sprouts. He had cream of tomato soup as a starter. I had mussels and the Bistro steak with cognac cream sauce. We had coffee and dessert at home because G is loving the apple crumb topped pie I baked for him. There were six people in the restaurant. We left at 7. Then there were four. An excellent indication that the economy is in trouble. Another indicator is the stock price of McDonald's shares. When times are rocky, people eat at fast food places to get value for their money.

Yesterday was Tuesday. I stopped at the grocery on my way home from work. Tuesday is the day all the handicapped/challenged/special issues people shop at the grocery. Hooking up. Waiting for taxis. Smoking. Under the influence of "substances" or not (when they should be). All on some form of public assistance or Social Services. On days like this, I wonder why their families aren't being responsible for them???? My daughter has already lectured me. They are adults (using age as the only criteria) and as adults can direct their own lives. That self direction being financed by my tax dollars is what bothers me. Does it bother you? I think this social structure is more evident in my Town as the local grocery is right in town, very central to everything. Not in a drive to the suburbs area. Not out of sight/ out of mind.

G brought the Spooky House home yesterday. He was sad to report all the damage done to the house. Shingles pulled off, feathers pulled off the big crow on the roof, all the windows poked out, spiders ripped off the sides of the house. He was also depressed by the anger of parents when he asked their small children to stop pulling things off the house and note the "Do Not Touch" sign. The parents would say "they can't read" as some excuse for the child's behavior. G would ask if they, the parent, could read. And perhaps instruct their child? Which only made the parents more angry.

G does not want to take the Gingerbread House to work for the Christmas Holidays. The GH is shorter and closer to children's hands and it looks more like "candy" than the Spooky House. Even adults have gripped a hot glued fake gumdrop on the house and twisted and pulled until they are stopped. Regular customers enjoy the houses and delight in seeing them. Customers just "passing through" feel free to plunder and destroy, on their own, or standing by and watching their child do it.

Later today, I will heat up the glue gun and repair the Spooky House. As best I can. The window "glass" may be a lost cause. G plugged the SH lights in and set the house where I could see it glowing from my seat on the couch. He opened the door so I could see the little rubber rat. I think he was trying to say "I'm so sorry" this had to happen to the project you worked so hard to create.

Life is difficult some days. The majority of people in this world are kind and careful of others. But the ones who make the biggest impression are the awful, self centered mean people.

I don't really want to go into Town today to straighten my glasses. Just in case there are "mean people" out there waiting to ruin today, also.

The Snow Hasn't Melted Yet

2011-11-01T17:14:00.000-04:00

And I am wearing as many layers as I can to try and get warm. Or stay warm. I think I may actually HAVE lost FAT. Isn't fat the thing that keeps us warm? I don't seem to have anything keeping me warm.

G went to the library and returned one of my books and got me three new ones. Another Henry VIII, a Bones Book (television series) and the first Asa Larsson mystery. I am in the very early days of reading another Swedish thriller but it's all drugs and prison and I'm not sure I am all that interested in visiting that particular world, this month. Three Seconds. One of you might be interested in prison and drugs.

The Kim Kardashian Marriage Fiasco. Woo Hoo. Who didn't SEE that coming. There is even a rumor the whole thing was just "business" and a way for both of them to make millions for the pictures. Kris, the mother and manager, is all about making money. Too bad it isn't against the law. I'd love to see them arrested. So very greedy.

We are going out to eat this evening. We are ready but it's still too early to go. I am not all that interested in being an "early bird" but here in my town there is a fine line between getting seated right away and having to wait an hour for a table. And, by 8 or 8:30, everything is finished. The town is deserted. A three hour window of opportunity for fine dining. And the tourists are all gone. They make it so much worse. When they are here you need a reservation. And then you still have to wait for a table since they like to "linger". Anyway. We are going out to eat.

G purchased new under the cabinet lights for above my computer and for over the kitchen counter where we make coffee and use the microwave. The old lights heated up the wood cabinets and I mentioned I always worried they would catch on fire. But they are very nice and always make the counter area "sparkly". Which is a nice thing to be in cold, dark Maine in the winter.

High Carb Day

2011-10-31T10:57:00.000-04:00

I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. The second bowl I prepared. The first one fell on the counter and broke, covering me with oatmeal. I was thinking that the breaking and spilling of the first bowl might have been an omen of sorts: do not eat oatmeal. It does have so very many carbs. So Many.

The sun is shining. The dog is wanting his walk.

Yesterday I washed and ironed. I fried eggplant. Ate too many. Or felt like I had eaten too many. It was probably okay. I also had a 1/2 cup of sugar free mousse mix made with almond milk. Not that good. But it was a dessert. The sugar free stuff is always too sweet.

The dog wants me to go get dressed for the walk. I am wearing rubber boots this time.

Halloween Eve

2011-10-30T11:45:00.001-04:00

I found some plastic eye balls in my bag of "cool things to sew on quilts" along with my big rubber tarantula. These pumpkins were in the Martha Stewart October magazine a friend (coworker) put in my locker last week. She thought I would enjoy the spooky stuff. When I carve my little pumpkin (which grew in my garden by accident) tonight or tomorrow, I will add the plastic eye balls. So cute. I wish I had a set of plastic vampire teeth to set into the pumpkin's mouth!

We have snow covering the ground. It's wet and heavy and our electric power was off from midnight to early this morning. G has had to go into work on his day off. (at least he got to sleep later than 4:30) Seems the town where his McD's is located has no power and everyone is coming in to get warm and eat breakfast. They needed help when the menu shifts to lunch. We both hope he doesn't have to stay all day.

I had four layers on yesterday at work. None of the glass doors actually close on the greenhouse (unless locked) so there is always a cold draft. I spent all day adding and subtracting layers. My class went very well and lasted forever. They had so many questions. I enjoyed my hot shower SO much when I got home. And my warm jammies.

Today; I have some laundry to do, a few shirts to iron, the bed to make, slipcovers to change. I also have three beautiful eggplant to peel, slice and salt. I'll fry them later. I still need to lug all the outdoor agapanthus and orchids up into the attic bathroom. Get them settled for the winter. They are safe in the garage right now. Give them a systemic so they don't get spider mites. And I need to figure out where the citrus trees will be spending the winter. It would be a good day to return to the practice of Pilates. And bring the yoga mat and yoga book of exercises down to the bedroom. Lots of varied projects. I have a book to read (new Swedish thriller) and I REALLY do want to start working on a 12 inch Beet quilt. So many things. Perhaps I should write each on a slip of paper and draw one at a time out of a jar?

I completely forgot: WALK THE DOG!

I purchased something for myself yesterday. I was ambivalent about it actually being a Buddha. But, after doing research on the internet this morning, I see the figure is a Buddhist Monk in the veneration pose. Offering/honoring feelings of good will of one to another. Two hands pressed together at the heart. A lovely "welcome" to anyone who comes into my home. Just what I really wanted. My Buddhist Monk is about 2 feet tall, seated, chubby, cherubic smile on his face. Black rusted metal. Large enough but not too large. Just right. I am now happy with my purchase. I may even purchase Prayer Flags one of these days. I am not a Buddhist but I think some of the teachings are very appropriate for my life.

Yesterday was a difficult day. Not enough food at lunchtime so I was hungry and open to temptation. I resisted. But it was class day and there was CAKE. I have to bring more or the right food next sunday. And then, here at home, I had nothing to eat. I ended up having a leftover half of MIM and peanut butter followed by sugar free jello much later (after 10). Not the best choices. Stupid choices. This morning I had sausage, egg and cheese. A large portion to carry me until supper. I'll be having fried eggplant for dinner with marinara. In fact, I will be having fried eggplant all week. Eggplant Parm, Eggplant lasagna, Eggplant Marinara. OR I can freeze some for another week. If I buy some broccoli and cheese tomorrow I can make a cream of broccoli soup. That will be nice to have at work.

Hope you are warm and your furnace is working. It'll be 50 degrees here tomorrow. Really queer weather.

New Building Project

2011-10-28T11:29:00.000-04:00

Here is the Gingerbread House as it exists today. The new trees are out in front, but haven't replaced the older ones yet. Hot glue is difficult to remove. I ripped off the batting "snow" and want to replace it with something smoother. Those "fake" gumdrops you see along the bottom wall of the house and along the peaks? That's what grown adults try and pick off. I was going to go out shopping for additions but now I think I will "shop" in the attic for shiny things. The house needs "sparkle". And I intend to close the back up. I furnished this house with little chairs, tables, dish cupboards etc. and this means viewers are trying to turn the house to see inside. And trying to pry the tiny chairs off the floor. A mistake on my part. So I will cover the back and they won't be able to see inside. I intend to add more glitter to the "Necco Wafer" roof tiles. I cut them by hand. The body of the house is painted to look like a German Spiced Lebkuchen cookie. I even "iced" the house with Squiggle PuffyPaint. I may change that to white rick rack.

So, just a touch up and some additional sparkle and it will be ready for the Holiday season.

I think Hunting Season has begun. Riley will need to wear his bright orange vest on future walks in the woods. The first weekend of Hunting is the most dangerous. Lots of drinking and wild shooting. I prefer when they shoot themselves or other hunters. Not homeowners out hanging laundry or walking their dog.
I despise the entire month of November due to hunting (I live close to land covered in deer). If I wanted to "hunt" I could get a deer every season, from my back stoop.

I just lost the whole second half of the post I wrote. This is the second time this has happened. Not that anything I had to say was earth shaking--it still makes me mad. I think it has something to do with the touch pad.

I am going to finish my coffee, walk the dog, go to the grocery to buy sliced baked ham and eggplant, come home and try and get one or even three things off my list of items to do in the garden. Then I will settle down to work on my notes for tomorrow's class at work.

I found two new soup ideas on the blogs. A creamy, cheesy Broccoli and Cheese and a Mushroom and Roasted Cauliflower. I think a creamy, thick soup will be both filling and Atkins friendly for lunches at work. I am usually cold, so a salad won't cut it. Something hot will be better. And I have eaten all the chili I had in the freezer. I also want to buy some eggplant and make fried eggplant to eat with marinara and melted cheese and also to layer in a lasagna. I even have an Atkins friendly Moussaka. So many things to try with eggplant now that I have "allowed" myself to use bread crumbs. Yes, I am allowing myself to use forbidden ingredients, in small quantities. My thoughts on this: If a very small amount of a forbidden food makes my life a happier place to be, then I will make that allowance.

I have still NOT had ANY bread, pasta or ANY sugary baked goods. No potatoes or starchy vegetables. No beans. No chips. No sugary fruit (apples, bananas, pineapple etc). And it's been SIX MONTHS. I think I can continue to eat this way; with small allowances for breaded foods, for my lifetime. I like being in control of my appetite. I like not being compelled to EAT, EAT, EAT. I could never eat just one slice of toast. I had 4 to 6. And still wanted more. So, I can never eat those triggers again. Sad but true.

Now, back to the coffee and my list.

Mysteries

2011-10-27T09:04:00.000-04:00

He was invited to run with a younger female. In her yard. With her red ball. He ran, always just ahead of her. Until, he stopped. Stood next to her back door, waiting to go in. His signal that he is done. At home. So, why wouldn't I understand at someone else's home? I would. I did. We extended out regrets to owner and dog. Resumed our walk. Understanding each other.

I felt lighter this morning. Stepped on the scale and was 1.5 pounds lighter than last time. What is different? A customer at work said a diet only works if you go to bed just a little hungry. I am trying that.

Getting my hair cut this morning. Too early to go into work. I might visit TJ Maxx for awhile and then go to work. Big Lots? See if either has anything for the Gingerbread House. Or just go into work 2 hours early. I am having a big breakfast of eggs and sausage. Packing a lunch of salad and tuna. Thermos of coffee. Hoping it all lasts thru the day until 6 when I get done with work.

Need a good bandage for my thumb. In case I am allowed to help with Christmas Boxes.

Finished the second Tudor Hunchback mystery. Ordered the third but there will be a wait as only one copy in all of Maine. Also ordered Sun Storm by Asa Larsson. Recommended by Diane. Watched Work of Art with G. Too funny. It is so raunchy and the art is so bad. I need to catch up on earlier episodes on the internet. Tomorrow. He got to see several of the female "artists" naked. Yes, readers, art is all about taking your shirt off in front of a camera. Art School must be plenty interesting these days with naked female students. Just saying, is all.

Winterberry Season

2011-10-26T10:11:00.000-04:00

This isn't Winterberry but it is one of my favorite photographs. Well, it could be Winterberry. Every other day the greenhouse gets a car load of newspaper wrapped bundles of bright red orange winterberry branches. We buy them from a woman who goes out each morning and cuts and bundles the branches. She goes out by boat and pulls in to the shore line and cuts. Not easy and on these cold mornings-- shiver!

I have helped unload the wrapped bouquets of Winterberry and they are heavy. Full of bright berries. Joyful Noise on overcast cloudy October days. As are the bright orange pumpkins. Mother Nature has given us such bright, joyful fruits of the season to brighten our days. The outdoor growing season is coming to an end. When I lamented the shorter days, a friend reminded me that in a few months, the days will start getting longer. December 21st. A nice way to look at it, huh?

Evergreen branches are being delivered at work today so we'll begin making the Holiday Boxes for the cemeteries this week. Our Florida customers will want to set the boxes out before leaving for warmer weather. Maine is a 6 month state. Six months here and six months somewhere warm. No Maine taxes that way. Best of both worlds.

My List for today includes: Southern Pulled Pork into the oven at noon (the oven will warm this part of the house). I already did the bleached, white wash. The dark wash is drying. I have only 50 pages left in my book. Riley gets his walk. I want to embroider a Magic Feather today. And make the background for my Beet 12 inch square. I WANT to start doing some handwork. A NEED to start doing some handwork.

I just walked down to my nearly empty old studio space. It's SO nice in there with all the boxes of things gone (upstairs) and room to walk and turn around and sit and even FIND things. I decided to make my beets out of deep dark red felt. I wish I had more of the yellow green hand dyed cotton. No one here in Maine sells hand dyed cotton. Isn't that odd? I've visited and called all the quilt shops locally. I will have to order on line and hope I strike it lucky and get the green I want.

Now, I intend to dress warmly, pull on my wool socks, pull the bed sheets off the bed and into the washer. I have a new Cloth Paper magazine to look at while I have a second cup of coffee. And my book. And my felt beets. Have a wonderful day!

The More Things Change

2011-10-24T11:18:00.000-04:00

The more they go back to being the "same". Yesterday, while long and at times extremely tedious, was a good day at work. I got the greenhouse watered, loaded three carts with water heavy trays of perennials, cut up and replanted an ancient Jade for a customer, asked a coworker to repair the leaking hose on the right side of the greenhouse. The "same" was the tedious part when I would rather have been home reading a book or folding laundry. I am the sort of person who would rather go home than stand around. I know it's odd, because everyone else enjoys standing around.

My work schedule has gone back to two week days and one weekend day (just when I had gotten used to three days a week). I teach my final class of the Fall Season this coming Saturday. Putting the Garden To Bed. I teach segments of this class each day on the phone with customers. Yesterday, twice. I also described a new Invasive Plant Removal technique.

Still need to take an allergy tab each morning to get my nose to stop running. I read, in a blog, that a running nose can be a symptom of a gluten allergy. I had no gluten yesterday or today. So, that is not the trigger. It is getting colder in the evenings here in Maine, and that means wood smoke. Doesn't make my nose run but does make my chest tighten and I start coughing. I KNOW I am very stressed by wood smoke.

I tried a new pasta substitute. As a vehicle for pasta sauces. Julienne zucchini strips, heavily salted and allowed to drain (and get crisp), then rinsed before being briefly heated (I poured boiling water over) and served with pasta sauce. In this case the delicious (but final) serving of meatballs in homemade marinara. We didn't eat this meal the day I julienned the zucchini (and my thumb) so I know it keeps well, rinsed, layered with paper towels, in a plastic container in the fridge. If your zucchini is longer than the ones my supermarket had (6 inches) then you will have strands you can twirl onto your fork. I like the zucchini strips better than the spaghetti squash (SS) but the SS was more filling. I think SS would be a good choice if I were making a pasta free mac and cheese. I can imagine the warmed zucchini strips being very nice in a Chinese stir fry as a sub for lo main noodles.

I have been thinking about doing another two weeks of pure induction to sort out my diet. That means no fudging on the carb count. Less Splenda each day. Only 4 ounces of cheese. Absolutely no breading on chicken (the only way I can eat it) or Meatballs. No cereal or yogurt (even though I watched an Induction Prep video and the woman (quite heavy) had yogurt on the counter with everything else. Lots of stuff in fact. When I did Induction I had much less in my "pantry" of allowed items. Perhaps, I was being to rigorous? I do know I fudge a bit with Ranch Dressing when I have it on my salad. And mayo.

This morning I started the day with a ham and cheese MIM with one scrambled egg. Two ounces of cheese and 3 of ham. I've already used up all the Splenda I can have today but I don't see myself drinking any more coffee. G wants chicken soup for dinner tonight. So I must venture out of the house for chicken thighs and carrots. Riley wants a walk and the library wants the book I am reading back. That about fills the day, because I need to finish reading the book.

I weighed one pound less this morning. Which makes me feel happy (happier) than I did in the days before. My rings are loose but not sliding free (a better indication) so I am hydrated more than usual. Enough Navel Gazing for one day. Sorry to bore you, but, at times, I need to use this blog as a journal of sorts. And perhaps, lurking out there, is a reader who needs to read these things, being on the same journey of diet and wellness. I never know. A diet buddy is always a lovely thing to have.

Discharging

2011-10-22T17:56:00.000-04:00

Today the camera is discharging it's battery, completely. It's a rechargeable battery. And I keep the camera, always, on the recharger. I rarely carry the camera anywhere. Sometimes it goes for a walk with Riley and I. Sometimes I take it to work. Mostly, I take pictures of the minutia of my life. All that recharging seems to clog up the battery and make it weaker and more likely to screw up the camera functions---eventually. Once it completely discharges (takes two days sometimes) the camera will be good as new again. I love when it's working perfectly again.

Today, up later than usual. I made coffee. Had a bowl of "farty" cereal just to use up the last of the soy milk. Then I got a dark and a white load of laundry going so one would dry and the other wash while I joined G & Riley on the walk in the woods. G has the weekend off. A very special event.

I am considering taking Riley into the woods on our next walk. I'm not sure Riley would behave (not run away), with me alone, as well as he does for G, so G did a little demo. When Riley had gone ahead (quite a way) we stayed behind, around a curve and quietly waited. This was very difficult for me to do. Wait. It seemed like a very long time. But, eventually, Riley came running back to see where we were (thank goodness). And got a treat. I also threw a few sticks into a pool of water, and Riley kept diving in to get washed off and find the sticks. He had a lot more fun in the woods than he does on the paved streets. We'll see. We would follow our usual street walk and then go into the Commons on the return loop and follow a short path and then come out back where we went in. It's a bit tricky to get back to our house from there. I really don't want to get lost. And hunting season begins on Halloween. If there are suddenly no blog posts--you 'll know I'm lost in the woods.

We visited Reny's (a store and not my former dog), and I spent $30 and got a red pair of Crocs for the holidays at work (red Crocs and green clothing). I also got a double fleece hat for snowy walks ( I like the shape and intend to use it to make a pattern for a felted wool sweater hat). I got more salted almonds ( a good snack to take to work) and a one dollar microwave lid for work so the co workers don't get food all over the inside of the microwave while reheating their lunches.

G and I had chicken wings with hot wing sauce for a very late lunch. We'll be having spaghetti and meatballs later? I am going to be having zucchini spaghetti and not spaghetti squash. The zucchini cost me $5.

I worked a bit in the vegetable garden today, after the walk with the dog. I dug up my tomato plants, G picked up all the squishy tomatoes. I turned the soil over and added compost before planting my garlic. I still need to add some fertilizer. I pulled up the last of the carrots and beets. I also picked some kale and the last of the raspberries (which I am going to eat with heavy whipped cream). I had anticipated harvesting the dry fennel seeds, but they were all gone today. G said the birds ate them. I think they will be sprouting in the garden paths in the spring. I had wanted my "own" fennel seeds to make sausage with. Oh, well.

I am going to make a 9 by 13 pan of breakfast casserole this week. Pork sausage, eggs, cheese, onion and sautéed kale. The recipe calls for a pint of heavy cream but I may not add that much. I can then have some of this for breakfast (or lunch or dinner) without cooking. I purchased some sliced ham to eat with cheddar cheese melted inside. A breadless Yumbo. I think I may like that as a change.

Speaking of change, I checked on the internet and found Yet Another Low Carb Diet to end all Diet Plateaus. The HCG 500 calorie a day diet. Two 210 calorie "meals" and two pieces of fruit. Period. For 46 days. I was so "impressed" with the lack of weight loss even on THIS amount of food. Don't fret--I would NEVER do this.

Now, I am going to julienne my zucchini, salt it heavily and let it drain while I iron shirts. I am also going to iron the fall leaves I picked up on the walk, between sheets of wax paper. And then read until supper time. I have to work tomorrow and gave some serious thought, while trimming the raspberry canes, to calling out sick tomorrow. I have quite a bit of sick time accumulated. I won't get new sick days until June of 2012. Always a dilemma.

The Difference Between Husband And Wife

2011-10-21T10:24:00.000-04:00

G leaves a very "light" footprint in the kitchen. His juice glass, his cereal bowl and the yogurt cup in the recycle bucket. All rinsed and tidy.

I create a pile of mess. Carrot peels from the prep of my salad for lunch at work. My unrinsed coffee cup, my bowl and the pan in which I fried my sausage, egg, onion, mushroom and cheese omelet. The pile in the sink was mentioned in the pre dinner conversation, but not the clean surface of the stove or the fact that ALL the huge heap of plastic storage containers had been put away.

G prides himself on using one bowl or pan and one mixing spoon when cooking. Let me say here, he rarely, if ever, cooks anymore. He calls and then picks up take out. I taught him how to make two complete, simple, dinners. And it was always a treat to come home and find he had made one or the other. But that was long ago, in another lifetime. Even if he could remember either menu, I can't eat either of them now, so why even consider him making anything?

I won't even get into the teeth clenching resentment I feel when he hands me the rice container when we have Chinese. How long have I shunned sugar, wheat and rice? SIX MONTHS.

Ah, well. We don't have one of those "soul mate" marriages.

I am going out for lunch today. Pretty happy about it. A friend from my library days. She retired last spring and moved back to Canada (she was born there) to 'house sit" a very rural homestead. While she deeply enjoyed having a big garden and a lovely home for the spring and summer, the thought of a long dark winter, alone up there was too much. So, she is back. Re-patriated. In fact, she moved into her rented apartment on Wednesday (in the rain). We are both eager to reconnect. Discuss books and life in general. I had missed having someone to "lunch" with.

Before my lunch date, I need to walk the dog. Riley is concerned I will disregard his needs and desires. I feel burdened by the "needs and desires" of others right now. I feel burdened by the "needs and desires" of myself. Wouldn't it be nice to just walk away? But, as my returning friend has shown me, sometimes we have to come back because "away" wasn't what we wanted, either.

Write/Pause/Delete/Publish

2011-10-20T10:26:00.000-04:00

Another art quilt blogger has self ignited. She wrote an emotional, intense post and created a firestorm of indignant and angry protest. I expected the protest. I was surprised by the 87 comments (and counting) that she got. People were defensive, felt diminished and responded in anger. They even resorted to name calling. Gosh, it sounds like the GOP debates.

Who would think that the simple (ha) joy of stitching small bits of cloth together would (could) arouse such vigorous Modern protest?

I, myself, have written things better left unsaid. Recently. It usually happens when I am overtired and bored. I have saved myself from too much apology and embarrassment (but still enough to be uncomfortable) by rushing back to the computer and hitting the delete button. There is nothing wrong with writing a rip roaring attack post. Just don't publish it.

I have a few rules that I try to follow. The first one: don't make comments. This is hardest of all since I want to communicate. But the problem of commenting is "interpretation". I am saying "this" but you are reading "that". I have hurt a great many bloggers by making a comment they didn't appreciate.

Second: stop reading the blogs that incite me to make comments. Incite. There are blogs out there that cause me to think of other ways of doing things. Blogs that make me smile. Sweet posts. Etc. But, then, there are idiots and jackasses out there writing things that make me want to pick up the computer and throw it against the wall. I need to stop reading those. Forever.

Third: Mommy Blogs. Those 30 something, Moms, out there with their 40K kitchens, fabric lines, product lines,very young children, always selling something. I can look. It's like a traffic accident. We know it's a bad thing to do, but we look anyway. Just don't stay around. Walk by, really fast. I think I was JUST as annoying in my 30's and 40's (but my children were in high school not diapers). But I'm 65 and just think it's such ..... crap, now. I made formula, boiled bottles, soaked and washed cloth diapers. I get it. You think you invented this. You didn't.

Fourth: The really good blogs that make me think, show me new ways of doing things, make me consider alternatives to the way I am living my life. Read more of these. Read. Learn. Process.

Fifth: Enjoy the readers I do have and enjoy the comments they leave which are always pleasant to find in my email box. You, readers, know how to do "comments". Thank you.

The Yin & Yang Of October

2011-10-19T11:28:00.000-04:00

It isn't Halloween yet or Thanksgiving, and already it's Christmas at work. And, I am sad to say, not the best Christmas at work. We don't have the gorgeous stuff of years past. When I was a customer and not an employee. Though, the tree decorating that is happening, is really very, very good. Creative.

I need to set the Gingerbread House on the dining room table and start thinking about it's remodel. These new cone trees will replace the ones I made from plastic ice cream dishes and styrofoam covered in fake gumdrops. My Christmas House needs more "flash & sparkle". And it needs lights. It also needs more contrast between light and dark. More "chocolate".

I weighted myself this morning. All I can say, in a positive light, is that I didn't gain any weight since the last time I weighed myself--like a full month ago or perhaps even longer. I record my daily food intake every evening when I settle on the couch to watch television or read. Until my eyes get tired. And close. I don't see any serious lapses. And I am walking the dog 5 days out of 7. Three miles. Which I didn't do at the beginning. I just was hoping to be 10 pounds lighter before getting to maintenance.

And the picture above is one that I am happy I even got, as my camera, as old as this blog, if not older, is showing signs of distress. The zoom is getting stuck. I will ask G to do that thing he does to the battery. See if that helps. I so DO NOT want to HAVE to buy and learn how to use a new camera. Stressful.

Taking the picture for this blog each day is one of the pleasures of my day. Having my camera not work properly is like seeing your good old faithful dog stumble or have difficulty standing up. A reason to dissolve into tears. Riley is fine. Rusty was our adopted senior dog. Long ago. Before the blog. Before the camera. I didn't want to lose him, either.

It's dark and drizzly today. I never know if it's better to be at work on rainy days and home on sunny ones or vis versa. I tend to spend a rainy day at home reading or putting something into the oven to cook. Or, more realistically, wasting the day roaming the internet. I do have the second episode of House to watch on the internet as it didn't record on my TiVo. And my book is interesting. Filthy, stinky Tudor England. I had a friend (in her 80's) who refused to read anything about the Tudors (scum) but everything else about English history. Henry VIII is rather a mess. And who is Nan Bollun? Or do they mean Anne Boleyn?

I am presently doing this and doing laundry. I have shirts to iron. I do have to step out to buy some food. I think we will have Thanksgiving Dinner tonight. Last night we dined out at the local Italian place. I had a glass of red wine. Volcanic. Nero. And I do have to walk the dog. Today until Saturday when G will walk him. Unless I go with them. G has the weekend off. I am working Sunday.

I am rambling. I find the "dark times" to be difficult in the beginning. Waking up in the dark, coming home from work in the dark. Depressing. The holidays cheer me up a bit (not much) and once my Christmas tree is up--then I have a reason to be happy. Then it's January. In Maine.

Work In Progress

2011-10-16T18:25:00.002-04:00

I am adding a broken bit to Donald (from China) every day or so. The head is heavy and keeps tipping off the glued edge. But I finally managed to get both feet back on. The rubber band is holding the arms on. Somehow, this little figure was dropped and broken up in the attic. Probably as I carried items downstairs for the garage sale.

I discovered a whole cache of empty suitcases in the attic. Some from the 60's. I should have had them for that garage sale. People love vintage (?) suitcases. I was hoping the large one I got from my mother's sister long ago (it was intended for Foreign Travel) was full of exciting, forgotten treasures. Instead it was full of another suitcase. Empty. Isn't it amazing what you "don't see" in the attic?

G has gone to get Chinese take out and I am in my jammies. Masterpiece Theater tonight. Life here at home is good. Work tomorrow and Tuesday. I'm tired.

Saturday Carrots & Sunshine

2011-10-15T10:45:00.000-04:00

That strange glow over on the right side of the sink--is the SUN. Yes, dear Readers, it has finally stopped being overcast and wet. The sun is shining. I have grated the very last zucchini from the 2011 garden and will be making zucchini crust for a pizza. G's pizza dough was made very late last night, before I went to bed. It is doing whatever dough does overnight in the fridge. Developing.

I spent a very enjoyable evening reading. Sansom's Dissolution. I finally got into it. It took awhile, but now that I have "met" the characters and become accustomed to the author's writing style, I am well on my way to enjoying the reading. There are only four books (and none at my local library) so the ordering and waiting will take up some of the time, but I see this as a lovely way to end the year. These four books will last the holiday season. Once we pass Halloween, it's like a downhill rush to New Year's. Whoosh!

I have had to Google some of the history of this period of Reformation, Cromwell and Anne Boleyn just as I had to do while reading Cadfael (King Stephen, Empress Maud, the 10 year Civil War). I declared myself a History major when I entered college in 1964 but was never much of a scholar in that subject. I did better in English and Art. Now, I find myself being quite diligent in studying history. It just took awhile to catch up with me. Like 47 years.

I have piles of clothing on the floor of my bedroom. Too big. Too small. Just right. Warm weather. Cold weather. I am also trying to settle on a "color story" for my closet. A way to "mix and match" the clothing I have. I need "bridge" elements to pull together a few outfits. I also need a few "new" fashion forward items to bring the old stuff up to speed in 2012. Ruffled sweaters and filmy tank/tunics seem to be in all the catalogs and magazines. Perhaps one of each to layer with what I have. ONE. Not an armful.

My closet Fall/Winter wardrobe seems to be brown, navy, mossy green. With a few sweaters in light and dark grey and red. Nothing fashionable. Throw in the French blue fleece and you have quite a dysfunctional grouping. I had hoped to own a knee length skirt by now to wear with tights. And those circle skirts could fit by Christmas Party time. I still haven't found an above the knee tunic dress to wear with my capri tights and flats. The weather may get too cold and my window of opportunity disappear on that bit of fashion. I also want a wrap belt so I can wear (oh, darn, I have to admit this) my size 20 navy wool blazer, wrapped like a kimono and held closed with the belt. That blazer is made of the nicest wool and is so warm and cozy. Another item I have kept because it is so very nice. And it does look great wrapped (over the knee length skirt?). I just need a smart belt, either big or very thin. I would wear the blazer as Fall outerwear right now.

I saw a lovely acid green tank with ruffles down the front in a catalog. Great peeking out from under the blazer or a long sweater with a thin belt at the waist. I also saw a ruffle edge sweater in a bronze gold which would be nice with navy, mossy green or brown and look nice with grey. I would need a ruched blouse to wear under everything. One that fits. But what size am I? I'm thinking a 14-16. Like one of the Readers, I dream of being a size 12 and even have a pair of 12 jeans that I wore in 2007. It could happen.

My To Do List is getting pretty long. Mostly outdoor, heavy lifting stuff which I prefer to do WITH G and not all by myself. And the DOG has figured out how to PESTER me into taking him for a walk everyday, no matter what time of day. Yesterday we walked at 4:30 because it had finally stopped raining. You do ANYTHING TWICE with that dog, and suddenly it's something you HAVE to do ALL THE TIME. I don't mind the walk, once we are out walking, but getting me into my walking shoes and jacket isn't something I do willingly (as I did when Riley was a puppy or in the winter). Cooler weather is better for long walks. And, at least it's not freezing cold and icy, yet. I just can never get the right amount or level of clothing on for the walk. I am either too warm or too cold. Miserable. Never just right. Yesterday I was cold at the start and too warm and very damp by the end.

This morning was a cereal day. I have to be careful the rest of the day and just eat fat and protein to balance the extra load of carbs from the cereal and soy milk. I am already feeling the "head rush" as the sugars reach my brain. My second bowl of chili (it has a great deal of ground beef in it) wasn't as good as the "mouth feel" of the little granules of beef isn't very pleasant. Chili made with cubed chuck roast is much better. I mixed the last portion of my chicken/mayo salad with Alfredo sauce (TJ) and leftover pasta for G's supper last night. I just could NOT eat another bite of chicken. G loves chicken. Pizza tonight. Work tomorrow. I feel the need to read my book and avoid everything else.

Second Post Friday

2011-10-14T13:52:00.000-04:00

I have a question. How many sizes of clothing do you have in your closet right now? Or stored in the guest bedroom closet?

I am SERIOUSLY considering packing up everything that is TOO BIG right now and taking the bags to Goodwill. Or cutting the linen stuff into "yardage" i.e. cutting the sleeves and neck parts off the shirts, cutting the skirts off the dresses, and opening the side seams of the pants and removing the elastic waistbands. Then I would have cloth but not clothing. Because I love good quality linen and am sad to send it off to Goodwill.

If I had absolutely NOTHING to wear if I started gaining weight--would that ACTUALLY be an incentive to stop eating so much???????

Let me know what you think.

The 1984 pure wool, custom made tea length wool circle skirts are still very snug at the waist (size 31 1/2 inches in 1984 which was considered to be a LARGE waist measurement at the time) but the grey one swirled nicely when I tried it on this morning with ballet flats. I want to wear these two skirts this winter. I may even buy fashion forward leather boots. And a few cardigans. Going back 27 years. Magical. Mysterious. I had planned to wear the skirts to work in the winter of 2007 but lost my job before wool weather arrived. I now have a second chance. Incentive.

Thoughts On Another Rainy Day

2011-10-14T11:01:00.000-04:00

You all know I don't do my best thinking on rainy days. It isn't the "color" of grey that depresses me; after all it is a favorite color for me to wear, but rather the "heaviness" of a day like today. The barometric pressure. I feel weighed down, pressed to the surface of the Earth. But I decided to find something cheerful for today's picture. And I saturated the color in the little iPhoto effects thing. There's something so uplifting about over saturated colors.

I worked yesterday. I wore pants I haven't had on my backside in nearly four years. I was told I looked "very skinny" yesterday. Perhaps the baggy loose jeans (which signify lost weight to me) doesn't register as lost weight to those who see me? This morning I tried on my new Target brand Spanx. I bought a level three pair of mid thigh shapers. They certainly do smooth things out. I would have been more comfy in the (larger) level 4 but they didn't have what I wanted in 4. And, eventually, I will be comfy in the level 3. I re-sorted all my pants. For cold weather wear. No more capri length.

I don't have laundry or vacuuming to do today. No ironing, either. I do have to go out to get a few grocery items. The "very" meaty chili I made, some time in the past week, is very good. I had a serving yesterday for supper.

I got home from work in the dark (oh, how I dislike that), found G and the dog sound asleep (6:30), took a shower, read the paper, heated up the chili, ate the chili and then moved into the living room to read. At 8:20 the dog woke G up by pushing his nose into G's face. Then we watched some TV. Person of Interest. Do you think he killed the guy or forced him to kill himself?

I made my way, 20 pages, further into the Tudor mystery. I am saddened by the ugliness of the Benedictine monastery depicted in this book. 1500's. Did things go so badly in 400 years from the time Cadfael was a monk?

This morning I found a quote in my letter from Robert Genn. It resonated with me as I am missing my friend K quite a bit these days. We would chat on the phone while watching Survivor. Habit. The quote was "If your friends aren't making you stronger, then they are making you weaker."

My friend was completely focused on her family. Her grandchildren. I was the only unrelated person she had anything to do with. And her family was always questioning "why" she needed me in her life. She had all of them. Wasn't that enough. Now, it is. My downfall was in trying to fight my way into position as her friend. The more I pushed... well, it didn't work out for me.

I believe that friendships can be as cyclical as seasons, color choices and fashion. Somedays you're in and then you're out. I was disgruntled when I needed to find new sources for undies, white tee shirts and now jeans. I still haven't found the slippers I liked best of all. I need to be open to the people I see every day and I may just find a new friend.

Wednesday Morning @ Bleak House

2011-10-12T12:07:00.001-04:00

The view into the sink. (I am loving the scratches in the stainless sink, the coffee grounds and the sky reflecting in the water in my cereal bowl) So far, I have slept later than ever. 10am. I made coffee and just noticed that the coffee maker "warmer" has stopped functioning. The light over the computer no longer works. The dog already expects to be going for a walk. Today was "cereal" day and I ate my bowl of cereal without any enjoyment. My house is cold. It is warmer outside. A day of lower than usual expectation of happiness. A day to consider buying replacements.

Dinner last night materialized out of nothing. Some rice in the rice cooker. Some frozen chicken tenders in the toaster oven. Some frozen peas in the microwave. I had reheated beets instead of rice. A central part of the meal had to be run into the disposal as it had grown furry mold while waiting to be consumed. I should just freeze leftovers.

House didn't record. I got Terra Nova instead. I also lost the last 5 minutes of the Good Wife. Mercury must be in retrograde or something. I did watch Project Runway from last week. The black dress was nicely made but with no way in or out of it was it good design? I know there are designer dresses that have to be sewn closed with the person inside. So this isn't new territory. It did suit the raven.

I had plenty to do at work yesterday. A load of projects and expectations. Better than having none. I have things to do here at home as well. Things I have let slip and slide. I need to make a list and check things off. I also need to go into town and pay our property tax bill. Return library books. Buy more salad ingredients and another quart of Egg Beaters for breakfast. I have kale out in the garden and can start making the egg thing I was eating at the beginning of the new diet. Sort of a frittata.

I feel oppressed. Not depressed. Weighed down in body and mind. Pressed by obligations. Heaviness. It could just be fatigue. It could be the change of seasons. It could, finally, be the reality of being SIXTY FIVE. I noticed the folding crepe of my upper arms this morning as I pulled on my socks. That, in itself, was enough to dampen my spirits. But the difficulty putting on my right sock? Sad.

Anyway, I won't burden you with all of my navel gazing today. I'll just move right along with my housekeeping projects (laundry, shirt ironing, bed sheets, floor cleaning), walk the dog, drive into town and be done with the day. Work tomorrow. I will try and find something to do that will bring joy and sun into my life. After all, the rest of the week it will be raining.

4 pm Update: I purchased a new coffee machine, just in case, the old one is actually, truly, deeply, dead. I also purchased toilet paper and some off brand Spanx. Renewed my library card and got a new Swedish mystery. The Tudor book is hard to get into. I try but it seems more literate than I am. Now I plan to walk the dog--hoping it won't rain until we get home. The sky and clouds are dark grey and stormy looking. Can't watch the missed episode of House for 8 days. Fox Rules. Watched the last 5 minutes of Good Wife that I missed. Good thing I did. The last 5 minutes changed everything.

The Last Hurrah

2011-10-10T17:14:00.001-04:00

We have been enjoying temps in the very high seventies and low eighties for four days now. What a glorious weekend to have a school holiday. I worked three of these four "summer" days, as did G. I can still enjoy seeing the maples changing color (now that all those crappy pine trees are gone). We have yellow, gold and orange. No red. G planted three winterberry shrubs in the area just left of the shed. They will eventually be 8 feet high and covered in red berries at this time of year and into the winter. If the birds don't eat them.

Riley has just finished eating his dinner and "treated " me to a large dog burp. At work, after lunch, two of my co-workers treated me to their burps. One male and one female. Can't wait to see if G burps after he eats his dinner. LOL.

I did not sleep well last night. I would sleep and then wake up, thinking it was morning. Still black. Go back to sleep and wake up thinking it was morning. Nope. It was NOT restful.

I stopped at the dreadful Walmart on the way home to see if they had tension curtain rods for less than JoAnn's. They did. $2.97 instead of $5.99. I bought three. Which means I now have 4. And I have 5 windows. G is going to mention that. But I don't think all the windows need a curtain. And I'm not actually using a curtain. Long ago I bought these lime green and gold table runners in rayon, with fringe. I thought they could be scarves or even pants. On sale, of course. Folded in half, over the rod, it is just the right length, slides smoothly to open and close, and you can't see thru it, and it covers only 2/3rds of the window so I can open the double hung window from the top to get air. Eventually, I will buy wooden blinds. But not right now.

G is on his way home. I think I will try and read a few pages in my new book. The Tudor mystery. DWTS tonight. Which is so terrible this season that G & I may just stop watching. I had low fat Greek style yogurt for lunch today with sliced peaches and raspberries. 11 net carbs for 8 ounces of yogurt. I added a scoop of vanilla whey protein powder. I didn't care how many carbs were in the peaches. They were fresh, juicy and sweet. Grocery peaches are never that good. G is bringing me Angus burgers from McD's for dinner. I've never tasted them. Hope they are delicious. The Chef's burger at Burger King was disgusting. And expensive. And, trust me, it didn't resemble the one in the tv advertisement at all.

Letting Go

2011-10-08T10:21:00.000-04:00

Of the old Spooky House. I stripped it of everything I could re-use, but it is still a formidable object. And I have difficultly "letting go" of anything which has meant anything to me. Jobs that have meant the world to me. Friends I loved. Little plants that just need someone to take care of them. Things that have no relationship to me--well, that's easy. I can throw that away, give that away, walk away from those things, those people, those jobs.

Can you tell that yesterday, at work, wasn't my best day? I stayed busy, had a good lunch and got my "targeted project" done but I wasn't pleased to be there. I have to go back tomorrow (sunday). And it's supposed to heat up to 80 degrees. Where did I put my shorts???? I may spend my lunch break up in the parking lot sitting in the sun. A nice brown tan looks very nice with silver hair. And I noticed my favorite clothes, for winter, are also silvery.

I was out in the vegetable garden after work. The frost had killed the tomatoes, squashes, beans so I had to pull those things up and add them to the compost pile. I did find one last zucchini. A few tomatoes that weren't rotten. Some carrots. And a luxuriant patch of parsley. I picked almost all of it and once I had it in the house, picked all the leaves off the stems, washed and dried them and then packed the leaves tightly into freezer bags. Pressed down into a very tight roll at the bottom of the bag. Rolled the bag, sealed it and secured the bag with rubber bands. When I need parsley, this winter, I will remove the rubber bands, unroll the bag, slice off a section of the frozen rolled parsley and chop and use it. I have a massive amount of chives also and could do the same with them--but they are smelly. And would smell up the freezer. I do have a dehydrator. Anyone know how to dry chives??? I have NO basil to process in the blender to make frozen basil cubes. I like to add a cube to any tomato sauce or soup I make during the winter. Perhaps they will have a large bunch at the grocery?

My nose is running, as usual, and the dog is waiting for his walk. I had my Sunday bowl of cereal, today, as it is not wise to work away from home (tomorrow) after eating farty cereal. I do have to go out into public today, to go to the grocery. I need a few items. I intend to change the couch slipcovers today, which means that next week I should take them to the Suds & Fluff to wash them in the big washer. That would be a change from letting them sit in a pile, in the office, for months and months, before taking them to be washed. Which is my usual method. I have washed them at home, in my small stacked washer, but I don't think they get "clean" if they can't swish around in the water.

I haven't been able to read my book. Which is bothering me. It's a good book and if I can finish it, I can start reading the Tudor mysteries with the hunchback. I have them here, in the house, waiting.

Television has been good. House was different. He's in prison. Mentalist was good. He admits to being a con man. Prime Suspect was excellent. Especially the part where all three detectives took turns seeing if they could run to the crime scene and back in 25 minutes. And then going to a bar to drink but pretending to be at the coroner's office. Their boss calls and tells them to ask the coroner to not shake drinks while they are on the phone next time. Tomorrow is the Good Wife. I still have Project Runway to watch.

So, things are going along well. Christmas is coming into the store, trees are being decorated. Halloween and Thanksgiving merchandise is being shoved out of the way. Sock Monkeys are very big again this year. 80 days or so and I will be unemployed for the winter. Once we get past Labor Day, things roll pretty quickly, downhill. Letting go.

Catching Up

2011-10-06T12:37:00.001-04:00

This cute little Hello Kitty lunchbox was a surprise package in my mail last week. From a sweet Reader. I promptly filled it with my stash of Happy Meal Toys. All Kitty. All Day Long!

Readers have alerted me to a redux of Hello Kitty at TJ Maxx and Old Navy. I even saw some at Target. None of it was "cute" or in my size. I do want some HK pajama pants in pink flannel, but haven't seen any yet. I did see HK tees but I didn't think I wanted a big kitty head across my chest @ 65. Across my butt, in the privacy of my home? Yes. Please.

My friend Patty called last night to tell me she had a bowl of peaches for me, from her backyard peach tree, and I better come over right away to get them. She also wants the fire wood we have left. G is very interested in a Peach Cobbler.

G and Riley are back from their walk in woods. The sun is shining. Time for Riley's lunch. G is mowing the grass.

I've been in the attic, watering plants, carrying stuff up for storage, carrying stuff down for recycling. I have all the dog towels washed and dried, the bed sheets need changing and we tried the "sample" tension rod in the new windows and it fits, so I can go get 4 more and make privacy curtains so I can undress with the lights on, instead of in the pitch dark. We were going to get wooden blinds but they would be over $100 each, so not that motivated right now. $5.99 each sounds better. I still need to caulk the nail holes, sand, wipe with a tack cloth, prime and then paint the new window trim. I have all the supplies and even the color card for the new paint. Just need to get started. An hour or two a day. Easy. (eye rolling)

I didn't eat enough yesterday. I don't have food supplies ready or available which sucks. I need to make a big pot of chili. And more chicken salad. I did make rhubarb sauce and a bowl of chocolate mousse. Sugar free. For treats. My treat last night was an ounce of salted almonds. I decided to have cereal on Wednesday and Sunday. The other days I make a Bacon, Egg & Cheese sandwich with a flax pita pocket (45 calories and 4 net carbs). I've gotten into a morning routine and can make it pretty fast. Cooking first thing in the morning isn't a happy thing for me.

Yesterday I shredded and drained almost all the zucchini we had from the garden the past 2 weeks. And packed it up in freezer bags and found a spot for it in the freezer. I also baked a big heavy spaghetti squash and have the majority in a container in the fridge. I mixed the mushy parts with TJ's Alfredo sauce and two diced fresh tomatoes. Good but not near enough food since I had no lunch. I needed protein.

We had a very cold night last night (27) so we had to haul everything off the back porch and into the house. The rest of the stuff (Agapanthus and orchids) were dragged into the garage for the night and are now back out on the driveway in the sunshine. The orchids need to be divided. Not an easy chore. When the weather gets permanently cold at night I will have to move all the citrus, agapanthus and orchids back up into the attic bathroom with a baby humidifier. It's sunny enough (skylight) and easy to water (bathtub) but the air gets dry in January so I think the humidifier will do the trick. I will have to remember to fill it with water every day (when I do my Pilates). And give everyone a systemic insecticide.

My Clivia and Christmas Cactus are doing okay. I had forgotten to go up and water them for a few weeks. But they like that sort of thing. I have to reorganize that space as it is now filling up with house plants, storage boxes of fabric and exercise equipment. Hard to find a clear space to walk anymore. I have considered putting some of the larger stuff up on the top off the kitchen divider. I already have a huge green foliage plant up there and it seems to enjoy being there. Perhaps the citrus would like it up there as well. And if more things were up there, I might water more often. Stranger things happen.

Time to get busy with housekeeping.

Ten Good Things

2011-10-05T09:36:00.000-04:00

One: I realized, at dinner last night, that I see my days at work as "days off" from the struggles to get everything done here at home. Work is a place for me to rest and relax. Wow.

Two: Re-united with my flannel pajamas last evening. So comfortable for television watching and reading, and falling asleep while doing both.

Three: Making the bed in the morning. Pulling the sheets tight. Fluffing the pillows.

Four: Grinding fresh beans for the morning coffee.

Five: A glass of red wine with my restaurant dinner last night.

Six: A very good book. Hypothermia by Arnaldur Indridason

Seven: A long sleeved (white) tee and a beautiful grey cashmere sweater as my Fall warm up outfit. Pants are either pajama bottoms, black knit pants, blue jeans or green corduroy slacks. Warmer than the flannel shirt. So soft.

Eight: Slippers

Nine: Plenty of really hot water when I take my shower. Fantastic.

Ten: It's not raining (right now)

At The Midnight Hour

2011-10-04T14:59:00.000-04:00

The lighted Spooky House. G drilled holes in the floor and wall and arranged the lights so they can't be seen. It really GLOWS! in the dark but will usually be seen in bright McD's store lights. You and I will know how it looks in the dark!

At midnight, on my way to bed, I paused to turn off the hall light and finally SAW what my sub conscious had been trying so hard to tell me; the container of candy corn garland that I had purchased and set on the hall table for the Spooky House. And forgot. Of course, it was just what the house needed so I got the glue gun out and started unstringing the little candy corn.

The little rubber rat watched my every move, with those glowing red eyes of his.

I added lines of candy corn to the top, over and under the windows and then in rows on both the top and middle of both sides of the house. Because the sides had looked "left out" of the decorating. Finally, the house was DONE. G carried it out to the car at 6:15 this morning and I hope it was warmly welcomed by the Morning Coffee Club. I took these few pictures at 1or 2 in the morning. I was sure the house would be gone (with G) by the time I got up to go to work. But he was still attaching a protective, clear plastic guard to the house. Would you believe that adults are the worst offenders when it comes to trying to pick the "candy" off the houses?

It was raining this morning. It was raining at lunch. It is raining now. Riley actually thought I would be walking him after doggie day care. But not in pouring down rain. I am heading for a hot shower and then a nice cozy nap on the couch. I am very tired. At work, an elderly customer told a coworker that I was incompetent. Thank you. That made my day.

While It Rains

2011-10-03T10:48:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I worked on the house for a long time. Then things started falling off the house surface and I had to get out the hot glue gun. I hate using the gun as the surface is never as neat as it could have been. And the glue is hot. And the glitter beads are small. Hot burns.

As you can see the house now has shattered, blood spattered windows, the center top is filled with glitter beads, the shingle shakes are completed and the front (so far) has a sprinkling of glitter. The first of many skeletons greets you at the doorway. My visit to Joann's and Target resulted in the glow in the dark fingers (like candles) on the top corners of the house. I also got a package of 6 more spiders. I managed to glue the grey claw hands to the house corners and have two more to put somewhere. I still haven't installed the rubber rat or the black cat. But I will use hot glue this time, and forever more.

You may be able to see the shattered glass fragments. This is like gluing jello to wood. With hot glue. I managed to apply the orange and black beaded "dressmaker" detail to the house. I like how it looks. I have to install all the skeletons (dangling from the ceilings, maybe), install the lights and glue the background papers to the back of the house. Oh, and sprinkle on more glitter. Then I can return to Joann's and return all the bits I didn't use, i.e. the extra container of glitter, and the two sheets of glitter foam. I was short just a bit and the scavenged shingles from the old house did the trick.

I don't remember if it was Annie or Dee who suggested some grey shingles, but that was a brilliant idea and I am so sorry I was nearly finished before I realized it. The flat black of the old shingles and the shiny sparkle of the new was perfect. Ah, well. There should always be room for improvement.

I like the house. The design of the wooden doll house was very symmetrical so I stayed with that through the design process. Matching it side for side. The sides of the house need design work but I don't have anything left. I could glue skeletons all along the sides. Instead of in the house, where realistically, no one will see them. I need to drink coffee first.

G worked long and hard yesterday to remove the old bathroom exhaust fan and install a new one. As with everything that needs to be replaced in this house, nothing fits. Nothing is the right size and something will always need to be destroyed in order to install the new item. Add in extra electrical wiring for the "heating element" on the old fan and you have an interesting mix of wiring to sort through. Luckily, I had shirts to iron just across the hallway so I could run back and forth and flick switches to see what was hooked up to what until it all was sorted out. But my part was easier than standing up on a ladder with the exhaust fan motor balanced on one hand and trying to connect wires with the other.

G finished the install, took a shower and went to bed. Not even any supper. He was up again at 4 this morning. And left for work. I stayed up to work on the dollhouse and then I watched episode one of The Good Wife on the internet and then episode two on the TiVo. I had to add 30 minutes of recording time due to Football. I had read comments about viewers not being happy with the first episode, but I thought it was fine.

I just lost everything I had typed in the past few minutes. I was telling you what programs I am watching this season. Project Runway (excited about All Stars coming in November), Survivor, Good Wife, Prime Suspect (my favorite), and for one more episode, Person of Interest. We also record Body of Proof, NCIS, Castle and the Mentalist. I also have the oldest episodes of Law and Order set to record along with the Killing and Fringe. I'm going to finish my coffee, blow my nose and get on with this rain filled day. My house is filthy, I have no idea what to prepare for dinner, I have nothing to eat for my diet but I am bundled up in a pair of G's jeans, a long sleeved tee and a (different) flannel shirt. Blue.

Sunday Spooky Update

2011-10-02T11:35:00.003-04:00

The light here in the house is pretty grim. So you can see more details but things don't look as mellow and cute. The window bone situation was resolved, I have added more of the glitter beads all around the roof and up the center of the house. I am now working on the glitter foam shakes. Hard to see on the black house (right side front). I'm going to have to add some texture. Which I think will involve a drive (in the pouring rain) to Joann's for glitter and perhaps some sparkly beads for that little area at the top of the roofline. I also need orange translucent paper to glue over the back of the house so the inside glows but you can see the stuff beyond the house. And I need little hooks to hang the dozen or so skeletons from. I don't think that last line was an actual sentence. That little spider looks good on the right side shakes.

I'm noticing the upper story left side window with the busy interior (bookshelf) looks more interesting than the right side plain window(curtain). I just have to "get it done" right now and can fuss with it after Halloween is over. Repaint or add MORE.

And I have to keep saying "it's a Halloween Gingerbread House" to myself. I'm not seeing much "gingerbread" right now.

It feels cold in the house this morning (65) and it is pouring down rain. G is working on replacing the bathroom exhaust fan/light/heater with an exhaust fan/light. Different size and shape. Different wiring. Lots of potential for disaster. But before he can do that, Riley wanted to go for his walk in the woods.

I served the pulled pork last night with gravy, fried sauerkraut & onions, and packaged potato gnocchi. A simple quick version of Bohemian pork with potato dumplings. Like 20 minutes quick rather than all day and a big mess. I won't be making the traditional version while on this diet. I would want to eat it. Potatoes and flour. Carb overload. G was swooning while he ate his dinner. I had just the pork and sauerkraut and I was swooning. So tasty.

My class was delightful (bulb planting) and ran over to 90 minutes. The women in the class had lots of "off topic" questions to ask and I think it's okay to digress and answer the questions. It was lunchtime before I knew it and then I watered the greenhouse and cleaned the shelving along the Christmas Room side of the greenhouse prepping the shelving for the boxes of bows, trim and pinecones to come. Lots of spider webs and old plant material. No class next week.

Spooky Progress Report - 3:30 pm

2011-09-30T15:52:00.001-04:00

This is the house so far. Two coats of black. One interior coat of a bright yellow and a second coat of a bright orange. I used a hair dryer to loosen the Sculpty "Seeds" off of the original Spooky House and glued them to the top of the windows and to the top and middle of the house. I also started adding the orange and black glitter beads I bought years ago. For this purpose. I added the plastic bones but am having second thoughts on them. See the cute bat on top? I love that little bat.

The house smells delicious. The pulled pork has fallen off the bones and is now "reducing" the amount of sauce in the pan. Last time I didn't read the directions correctly and didn't add the 1/2 cup water. Wish I hadn't added it today either. Four hours. And so much liquid I don't have crispy bits. No shirts have been ironed but G did go to the library for me. I now have a book to read. One of the Icelandic mysteries. I also spent some time online collecting info on bulb planting for my class tomorrow. At work.

My fingers are covered in paint, glue and now adhesive from the sticky glittered foam that I am cutting into shakes for the siding. This is my workspace. I also pulled the bead trim off the original house. Good thing I strung the beads on dental floss. The shakes on the original are all wonky and sort of charming. I am doing a better job of it this time and they aren't as charming. I also wish there was more glitter. Like that commercial on television "can't have too much glitter". I tore the original house apart so I wouldn't be tempted to "keep" it. The "new" Spooky House isn't as sweet as the original but once it's done I will love it anyway. That's the way it is with home crafted stuff. Just got to love it.

G has gone to work. But he thinks we (he) could trim the remaining plastic bones I have and finish off the window trim. Right now the bones don't fit. Or I could add more glitter beads. What do you think? I think I should have put the sides on before I added the top and bottom bones. Really got ahead of myself on this one. Could always pick them off. Might just do that.

Spooky House Painting

2011-09-30T10:51:00.002-04:00

Black Magic paint on the house, on me and now, on the camera. I used a craft foam brush on the house (first primer coat) and the bits of trim. G is home this morning so he cut the pointy part for the top of the house. An addition to the trim. I needed a pointy place for the BAT. He also cut some more trim which "was harder than I thought it would be". I think we need a jigsaw. For our birthday next month.

Today: library for books, pulled pork to start and let roast in the oven by itself all day long, more house painting, G's shirts to iron and Cracker "crack" to make for the crew at work. G already brought the big ladder in the house and opened the skylight shades about 12 inches to let in light. During the summer it's just too hot letting all that sun in the house. Open all the way--well, you need sunglasses in the house, even in winter. These are really, really big skylights. Which would make this room a greenhouse. What were they thinking when they built this house?????

I'm going to get the pork butt into the oven and start on the interior painting. I am such a messy painter. And then measure and start cutting the foam shingles. They are adhesive backed but my daughter says I should still glue them to the house and not "trust" the sticky backing to stay stuck. I wanted to try reusing the shingles on the original house, which took many evenings to cut by hand, but they are firmly stuck to the cardboard. Too bad. They are nice shingles.

I had cereal again this morning and am feeling the effects of the excess carbs. Like having the flu. I think I will have some fat and protein now.

A New Day

2011-09-29T09:39:00.000-04:00

Oatmeal for breakfast. An unusual dream last night that has me "thinking". Runny nose and itchy eyes. Still need coffee and to make my "big" salad for lunch today. Work. Wearing one of the pair of pants that I sorted thru yesterday. Need socks. One hour.

Just When I Was Ready To Give Up: the Universe Has Something To Say

2011-09-28T16:21:00.000-04:00

Today began badly. I woke up way too early, tried to go back to sleep, thought I had gone back to sleep, only to get up and dressed and find it was still 7:30. On my day off. It is humid and a bit cold today. So, I decided to switch my summer clothes for my fall clothes. Which meant trying everything on. I even tried on the test pants (which fit really great the last time) and found that they don't fit so great, today. Anyway, I made two fall piles. The stuff that definitely fits RIGHT NOW and the pile of stuff that needs a little more diet in order to fit.

And what was I ready to give up after that? The diet. Six months is a LONG time. And some days I see no results. Who am I kidding? Some MONTHS I see no results. My rings are tight this week so I shouldn't even be thinking about trying on pants. I shouldn't be noticing the belly fat when I take a shower. This was my mood. I walked the dog. Only one dog on the loose to make the walk "testy". Then I picked up my shopping list (only 10 items) and ran off to the grocery. In knit pants and that same plaid flannel shirt.

Ten times were on the list. I got them all, checking them off as I put them in the cart. Multiples of a few items and two extras; yogurt for me and 7#'s of Boston Pork Butt for pulled pork. 134 freaking dollars. Still not feeling the love for the grocery. And that's when the Universe added it's two cents.

I was "helloed" by a neighbor. The really attractive international flight attendant. She runs. She's a natural blonde. She wanted to tell me how great I was looking. REALLY. She said that. And meant it. We talked about diet and weight and she said she is always the same weight (plus or minus 5 pounds) but is sometimes a size 0 and sometimes an 8. She said it makes no sense so she has stopped weighing herself. She just stops eating (so much) when her flight uniform feels snug. This made me feel better. Sorry I had bought the yogurt. But, ever so happy, I hadn't bought any cereal.

I promised Riley TWO walks today since I didn't walk him after doggie day care yesterday (as I have been trying to do) and he is remembering my promise. My lunch was two HB eggs and a smear of mayo. I think I have enough stamina to walk another 3 miles. After all, I am looking really great.

My Carrots (and very proud of them!)

2011-09-27T18:43:00.001-04:00

And they are the size of my hand -from tips of fingers to wrist (the purple ones). Good sized carrots. The last batch I pulled from the garden were shorter and thinner. I had them in my lunch salad today. Lettuce, three carrots, Feta cheese and Ranch dressing. A much smaller than usual salad (due to not having much lettuce) and I skipped the tuna and mayo. And they are only purple on the outer edges. The center of the carrots are orange. The fat ones are just fat, short regular carrots. The biggest round one has a smudge of purple from a neighboring carrot. From now on, G will be in charge of planting seeds for carrots and beets and turnips. They actually come up and grow when he does the planting. Not for me.

I may have a picture of my beets one of these days. Yes, I have beets for the first time in my gardening career. I also have raspberries but most of them are moldy due to the weather.

Thank You to Susan McD for the referral to CJ Sansom. I requested the first two books from the lending library. My local doesn't have them. I am intrigued. Never even knew they existed. A 16th Century detective (Henry VIII) and a hunchback? Giddy. I also requested the 6th and final Icelandic mystery. Might as well finish up that series.

I seem to be in the mood for "finishing up" things. Mended G's Japanese Farmer Pants after many many years. Long enough to have mice eat holes in one pocket. I am very disturbed to think I had a mouse in my workspace, eating a pocket, which held a crushed dog biscuit. And I finally have the paint for the new Spooky House, even though I have NOT begun painting. And yesterday I actually vacuumed all the floors and carpets.

Work was okay today. I started the day (7:30) by watering everything. Rolling up the hoses into neat circles and leaving notes to request that others do the same. I also asked them to shut the water off when they finish. D brought her little yellow lab in to visit with me. She is very small. 60 pounds. Riley is trying to get to be 100. Then I had to play "hide & seek" with a store transfer order. The descriptive is not very descriptive. And I had trouble finding stuff. And then I learned how to transfer. It wasn't easy. All this F11, shift T, F11 again and then C and enter twice. Oh, it was too much for me to hold onto, being a Mac person.

Finally, lunch time. Then the trucks arrived. I unloaded plants out back and then pumpkins out front until it was time to clock out, pick up Riley and go home. At some point in the day, I noticed I had dripped bacon fat from my BEC breakfast sandwich down the front of my work tee shirt. Wonderful. It's now 6:30 and G just got home. I have no idea what we will be having for dinner. Perhaps leftover pizza or more spaghetti and meatballs. I made over 4.5 pounds of meatballs on Sunday. I'm out of spaghetti squash which is what I had under my meatballs. I guess I could have mine in a bowl, alone, with cheese.

I am SERIOUSLY considering counting calories again. 1200 a day which will be sort of tough with the Atkins "Fat" issues, I think, but well worth the try. I need to get the scale moving. Down. Same food, only counting the calories. Which will mean eating less of everything. And, eventually, adding (being able to add and control) more carbs to the daily diet. Like oatmeal for breakfast.

I did find a low carb sub for oatmeal. TVP. Textured Vegetable Protein. I have some and might make it ONCE to see what it tastes like. I can't imagine this. Who ever thought to try this??? And Chayote instead of apples. In case any of you wonder, Atkins asks us to sub sour cream for yogurt. Can you imagine that? Seems that cream has very few carbs but whole milk has more. Lots more.

I had forgotten the many packages of sugar free mousse mix I bought last month. Time to try them out with heavy whipping cream added to the powdered mix. This was one of Dr Atkins favorite desserts. My second choice (once the fridge is emptier) is sugar free jello. I make four, one cup servings. And there is still some rhubarb sauce in the freezer. Three excellent dessert choices. I won't even miss the apple pie.

Breakfast Dilemma

2011-09-26T10:19:00.000-04:00

The on going disturbance in this diet of mine. Eating from the same food groups for extended periods of time and becoming sated on one food and needing a replacement. I have been having a bacon, egg and cheese breakfast sandwich for about 10 days now. I use a 4 net carb flax pita for the "bread" which is basically just the tool that makes it possible to eat this food out of hand.

I purchase two bags of HB eggs at Trader Joes, thinking that an HB egg or two would be a good breakfast or snack. I ate two eggs, used four to make egg salad and now have the second bag of 6 eggs. I don't actually want to eat them. The salt content of the bacon and cheese in the bacon, egg and cheese is making my rings tight. Today's breakfast of a ham and cheese roll up in a quarter piece of the flax lavash is still too salty, but I have to eat the ham and cheese before it goes bad. I could have had a quarter portion of the cold leftover zucchini crust pizza.

Which gives me four choices for breakfast and none of them desirable. I need to now locate a fourth or fifth "new" high fat and protein breakfast to add to the rotation. Frittata? Quiche without the crust? Breakfast Casserole without the soaked bread? Extremely low carb cereal with soy milk. Flax muffin with cream cheese or peanut butter.

I wonder that I could eat the same breakfast of shredded wheat or oatmeal for years and years, never tiring of either. I would eat them again, joyfully, if it was possible. Breakfast isn't a time when I look forward to eating cold meats or eggs. But I do. Just to fill my stomach and get on with my day. That's how I look at this first meal of the day. Just get it over with. Wash it down with coffee. Move on.

Why don't I just eat cereal you ask? Perfectly reasonable question. Because, one hour after eating the cereal I am looking for "something" to eat. I am hungry. If, in the end, I am going to have to satisfy my food craving with the bacon, egg and cheese combo--why not just skip the cereal??? I can eat the BEC and not be looking for any (additional) food for 4 to 6 hours.

Lunch is easier. Green salad with olive oil and vinegar. Tuna plus mayo. Chicken plus mayo. HB egg plus mayo. Ham and cheese rollup. Leftover meatballs. Cold chicken wings. Leftover pulled pork. Peanut butter straight from the jar (2 Tablespoons) eaten off the spoon. I have only one container of Bacon enhanced Garden Vegetable Soup left to eat. It was best with added pot roast. I also have two more servings of Induction Chili in the freezer. I wonder how that would be mixed into the soup? I can see making another batch of soup as the garden winds down. Which reminds me to go out and pick raspberries. I have been meaning to try eating the raspberries with ricotta instead of yogurt, adding a scoop of protein powder to the ricotta. Breakfast? Dessert?

I searched the house for suitable fabric to repair two pair of G's favorite work pants. I need a hand sewing project for the afternoon now that I have finished the 20th and final Cadfael book. The mending stitch should be mindless enough. I have no idea what I will read next. Any suggestions?

My Favorite Birthday Present

2011-09-24T20:00:00.000-04:00

My daughter found these two sweeties at the grocery store, of all places. I showed them to Riley and now he is eager to make them his. So they are up on the top shelf of the bookcase. What is it he likes? The little dot eyes? That they are cats? That I like them?

Today was Compost Class at work. What fun. I mentioned using limestone with juicy things (green) and my students got confused so I gave them a graphic reminder. When "Bad People" are trying to get rid of dead bodies, what do they use? Lime. To hasten the decomp. I suggested fertilizer to hasten the decomp of dry things (brown). No wonder they enjoy the classes. So graphic. So weird. That's me. And we also discussed giant red wiggler worms.

The rest of the day was a "Big Snooze". An 87 year old Deputy Sheriff who is also a cowboy? Yes, we had that and chatting with him for a few minutes was quite a treat, but he had to eventually saddle up and follow his family to the local college art museum. Tourist.

Supper was pizza. I had to mix up the dough last night right before going to bed. It wasn't as soft and elastic as the last two times. But G said it was just as good. I had made a zucchini crust about a week ago and baked it but never topped it. So, I had that with onion, peppers, pepperoni and more cheese. It's good. Not great. But chewy and crisp like a "real" pizza.

The weather here in Maine has been odd. Cold rain. Humid Buggy. Hot Humid. Buggy Overcast. Dark Damp. Muggy Rain. Notice I never mentioned any Sun? Tomorrow is supposed to be Cold Rain, followed by Hot Sunny Humid, followed by Overcast Buggy. Can't wait.

I got a letter in the mail letting me know that Social Security was going to send me a Medicare Card. Until they actually send me the card, I could go to the hospital with the letter as proof of coverage. There's a phone number in case the hospital I go to, doesn't want to accept the letter as proof. Are there really people who turn 65 and immediately need to be hospitalized??? I guess there are.

I have finally made a huge dent in the number of ripe tomatoes that are sitting on the counter. Tomorrow I make sauce and meatballs. It's what G wants. I kind of like meatballs, too.

A Good Day For A Long Nap

2011-09-23T10:45:00.000-04:00

Riley had a busy day yesterday, as did I, and we both need a bit of "downtime" to recoup. Riley had a long walk in the woods, in yesterday's rain. I spent that same rainy time, out in the perennial yard for the annual "draw everything in tight" and "cut everything down" day. Usually, I have help. The Yard looked good when I looked back over my work from the parking lot. I may need to tweak a few of the Iris so all the leaves are EXACTLY the same height. That's how I roll. At least I didn't snip my finger tip this year.

PLENTY of HOT water for my after work shower. And we needed only 60 gallons of oil for the summer usage. Instead of 150. So the new furnace system is paying it's way already. I won't be turning on the radiators for another 6 to 8 weeks. That's what sweaters and socks are for in late autumn and early spring. I do my best to conserve oil.

Had my breakfast while watching Survivor on the computer. We forgot to watch it Wednesday night (being 65 has already eroded my memory capacities). I also have Project Runway to watch. Last night we sampled "Person of Interest". Very expensive production. And we got to see the trailer for the US version of "Girl WithThe Dragon Tattoo". Can't wait. I had to do some major reshuffling of my TiVo Season Passes in order to get everything recorded that we want to sample last night. We are giving the original CSI another chance now that the black guy is gone and Ted Danson is on. I fell asleep a few times during CSI and was surprised, when I woke up, that it was still on. Could it be that boring? Yes, I think so.

I have a short trip into town on my agenda. The library, the resale shop and Coldwater Creek for Spanx and to try on the new style of jeans with the short four inch zipper. The Spanx because certain areas of my body are never going to get smaller and I need to "compress" those areas with Spanx. Just like the movie stars do. You do know they (movie stars) use a "fresh" pair every time for major compression?

The Blazer is almost ready to button, loose. (it already buttons looser than last month but not falling free over the hips) Another two or three weeks. I spent time this morning trying things on. The circle skirt buttoned and zipped but would look best with some Spanx support in the tummy and saddlebag areas. I'd also like one of those wrap around belts so I can wear my favorite size 20 wool blazer as a wrap (both sides folded over each other in front) with the belt to hold it closed. I want it as a fall/winter coat type item. And I am tempted by the ruffled edge sweaters I see in all the magazines. In a golden yellow.

My clothing isn't color or style co-ordinated so it is difficult to pull together a "look" when nothing really fits together. My best look is a pair of black knit pants and a work shirt.

I'm teaching a class in Composting tomorrow at 10 am and then I am working in the Tree & Shrub area of the business. Which is something where I am VERY WEAK in knowledge. So Saturday will be a struggle. I will do the best I can and the boss will have to pitch in.

Riley will be wanting lunch and a 3 mile walk. When was I going to take that nap?

Seasonal Colors

2011-09-21T10:49:00.002-04:00

My choices for the interior (glowing, glazes of orange and yellow) of the Spooky House and flat black for the outside. Black Magic. Who could pass that up? Not me. Now to cover the dining room table with protective stuff and carry the dollhouse downstairs. And start painting.

Here's a picture of the old and the new Spooky Houses. The old was made from a cardboard box, lots of paint and quite a bit of glitter. The original decor was glued on real seeds. Which the mice in the attic ate. So these new "seeds" are Sculpty. The original design was a gingerbread cookie house in a Martha Stewart catalog. Very tiny. This Spooky House has been at the local library for a number of Halloweens, a local school library, for just as many, and now at my husband's McD's. It's looking it's age. Parts are falling off and the parts that are still connected are seriously hot glued in place. So, a new house. With a working door. I may be building a new house, but the original will always have a sweet spot in my heart. I need to find a pointy piece of trim for the "peak" where the bat perches. And decide how I will use all those plastic leg bones. And, if we want the thing "electrified". So much work. So much fun.

I also have a HUGE tray of ripe tomatoes to make into something. I have run out of freezer room, so I could attempt "canning" tomatoes which I think is difficult due to the acidity needed to keep it from going "foamy" and killing the family. Or just make a huge batch of sauce and then, after Invisible Fence arrives, go buy ground beef and make a huge batch of meatballs. They were super delicious last time. I could possibly SQUEEZE a few freezer bags of meatballs and sauce into the freezer. It's been a LONG time since I had so many tomatoes out of my garden. Cute ones. I could also peel and seed them and just freeze them that way. No cooking until later when I use them. Easier.

And I have a basket of the last of the yellow summer squash to slice and fry. I'm running out of onions and olive oil. I have an hour right now and perhaps should make a run to the grocery??? Indecision.

The cooking makes SUCH a mess of the kitchen and of me. Nearly all my tee shirts are spotted with tomato sauce. I even have a large bag of green peppers to clean and slice and freeze. And the raspberries. It could be worse. Patty could have been bringing over a bushel of grapes if they hadn't had a bad year. At least the grapes turn into jelly. In jars. Not in the freezer. And it's such a tiny freezer.

G and I finished the pot roast (it was a small one) and had a roast turkey breast last night. Things are better around here if I have a large piece of meat roasting and add steamed vegetables from the garden to round things out. We've just about finished all the green beans. Still have carrots in the garden and beets. It's been a VERY productive garden this summer.

My boss said I was "missed" last week. I mentioned I hadn't missed working last week. Perhaps, not a comment I should have made? And I found out I am teaching the three classes I wanted to teach. Starting this Saturday. Composting. The mums at work look extra nice and we have almost all the pumpkins on display. Pumpkins everywhere else are cheaper. I have my own, even though the chipmunks have made tiny bite marks all over it, out of the garden. All misshapen and orange. I'll just cut holes everywhere there is a bite mark. Pumpkins look good with three to six "eyes", right????

Okay, now I should be going to the grocery. Or slicing squash and onions. Or carrying the doll house downstairs. Or reading blogs and drinking coffee. Perhaps it is better going to work?

Walking The Dog

2011-09-19T15:43:00.001-04:00

I took my camera on the walk, thinking there would be something interesting to photograph for this post. Well, there were things I found interesting; to consider but not to photograph. Lots of work is being done along the walk. One very expensive house with extensive landscaping, had everything in the front bed ripped out (by the new owner). Leaving three ordinary evergreens. And I mean "ripped". There was no digging to salvage the roses, dappled willows or smokebush. Another house, in a lesser neighborhood, was having cedar stained clapboard removed and manufactured siding applied. Really.

I didn't want to photograph either event. I was sad that I had to even be witness to this work. So, I took a picture of Riley trotting along on his blue leash. On the grass. Heading for the shade. Notice the lack of pulling on the lead? He really is a very good dog.

The entire 24 hours of my birthday was very, very nice. In the sweet, untroubled way that some days pass. Everything sort of takes care of itself. At the very end of the day, I began the 20th and final Cadfael book. But, not wanting the reading to be over too quickly, I decided to watch "Becoming Jane" about what might have happened to Jane Austin before she wrote her first novel. I would have to do research to see if any of it could be true, but the story itself was very much like her novels--without the happy ending. I did read that Jane's sister burned all their correspondence when Jane died so there could be no way for anyone to know about their private lives.

Today, I had wanted to begin work on the Spooky House but first needed to clear the clutter off the dining room table (so I could set the house there for construction work) which took such a long time and isn't even completed (the table clearing, not house construction). Then I decided to watch YouTube videos of Cadfael episodes. I watched the Holy Thief and the Rose Rent. I won't watch any more. Now that I have pictured the characters in my head, it is difficult to see in a video. And the plot is all messed with and scrambled. A good person in the book was made into the evil villain. Why?

G is having a long day at work, his first after 9 days of vacation. Always depressing and exhausting to return to work after a vacation. My schedule for next week hasn't changed. 2 weekdays plus Saturday. I think I am going to be happy it isn't any more than that. I return to work tomorrow at 7:30 am. All good things must come to an end.

The mailman brought a large pile of mail today. None of it for me.

It's My Birthday Kitty Kat

2011-09-18T16:11:00.000-04:00

My daughter helped me dig around in the toy box in the garage and she found all the Hello Kitty toys (I have limited patience). I have two Kitty wrist bracelets. One with blue ribbon is on my wrist as I type. I'm calling her Birthday Kitty. I used to have a huge Hello Kitty Doll and hope that someday I will find her in a box up in the attic. I hate to think I gave her away.

Today has been quite lovely. Nice emails from blog friends. A long, sweet phone call from my son in California. Toy box digging with my daughter. Raspberry picking with my best dog Riley. I was smarter this time and didn't set the raspberry basket down on the ground while I continued to pick. The basket was empty and Riley was smiling when I came back with a handful of berries that first time. When I placed the basket on the cucumber trellis--Riley grumbled and left the garden. He was only there for the raspberries.

I realized, at noon, that we didn't have any "food" for my birthday dinner so I rushed off to the grocery to buy a chuck pot roast and it is slowly getting tender in the oven. I also bought three potatoes so G can have mashed potatoes with his pot roast. I have the second half of a cabbage in my fridge (grown in my very own garden) which will soon become a very mayo cole slaw. My favorite Birthday Dinner. Pot Roast, Gravy and Cole Slaw. No mash for me. But I intend to make and eat a low carb Chocolate Cakelet later and make a wish when I blow out my candle.

I spent most of yesterday on the couch. I woke up sneezing and had to medicate myself and that made me sleepy so I slept most of the morning and afternoon. Waking up to eat and then sleeping some more. I did manage to read the 19th book in the Cadfael series between naps and only have number 20 left. I don't think there are any more. I wish there was a Masterpiece Theater on PBS but our local is showing something else. Boo!!

If today is any indicator of how my 65th year will be--- wow, it's going to be amazing!